Power Move: Do you have a psychologist?
Hello guys,
I decided to post my daily power moves rather in this category than in my journal for visibility and retrievability.
I was having a drink with friends and we were talking about the emotional and psychological challenges we physician face (death, mistakes, etc.). My friend B said:
Him: do you have a psychologist?
Me (looking behind me jokingly as in French we say "is a psychologist following you?"): No
Then conversation is about why physicians need psychologists for good mental health.
The three people around the table agreed that it would be good to have psychologists. However, saying "do you have a psychologist?" frames me as someone with a poor mental health. Not only during these challenges, but generally speaking.
I was a bit defensive, however I stayed emotionally calm. It's the old: "you belong to this group and this group has this negative characteristics so do you".
What I could have done is use a philosopher's frame:
Him: do you have a psychologist?
Me: I think everyone could benefit from having a psychologist
Hey John
Him: do you have a psychologist?
Me (looking behind me jokingly as in French we say "is a psychologist following you?"): No
I think your original approach was pretty good. It framed the question as a joke and dismissed it. There was opportunity for some laugh (what by itself would be effective), but even if laugh didn't happen, now it was on them to either change tack (you win) or insist on the subject - but upon insisting, then they would handle to you the opportunity for the philosopher's frame as you put it:
Him: do you have a psychologist?
John (looking behind jokingly): No
Him: [either] ha ha ha ha or bla bla bla bla
John (😎): I think everyone could benefit from having a psychologist
I get the impression that, if you replied immediately with the frame it would have sounded evasive (you're not actually answering, but still somewhat reacting) and as if you were trying to justify yourself
It regularly still surprises me what you can imply with just a few words out of nowhere. I liked your joking reply as well.
Some options to defuse the "you have mental issues"-stigma:
- Philosophers Frame (Broadening the scope and disagree and agree with certain parts)
"I think ultimately we have to make all the choices for ourselves as we face all the consequences. I can't give that power away to anybody else, so I in that sense I could never 'have a psychologist' that takes care of my mental health - instead of me.
But I suppose people like psychologists can certainly be a good third party adviser in certain instances, especially if they have lots of practical experience and knowledge.
What is your perspective on this?"
- Going Meta (mentioning the implications explicitly)
"Man this is a tricky question, because when someone answers this with 'yes', it kind of implies they have mental issues. But I think this is not a good mindset to have - who wouldn't benefit from a third party advisor with lots of experience and knowledge?
We could probably all learn something about ourselves from such a conversation."
- Redirecting (Association that also breaks the stigma-loaded frame)
"At some point I really thought about studying this myself, but I decided on [...].
To this day I still like to research these topics though. What about you, do you find human psychology interesting?"
It regularly still surprises me what you can imply with just a few words out of nowhere.
What do you mean?
Quote from John Freeman on June 19, 2022, 6:14 pmIt regularly still surprises me what you can imply with just a few words out of nowhere.
What do you mean?
How easy it can be to frame someone in an unfavorable light and put them in a difficult spot with only a few words uttered in under 2 seconds.
Heheh it's a cheap shot but how about. Sounds great can you recommend me yours
Quote from Anon on June 20, 2022, 10:39 amQuote from John Freeman on June 19, 2022, 6:14 pmIt regularly still surprises me what you can imply with just a few words out of nowhere.
What do you mean?
How easy it can be to frame someone in an unfavorable light and put them in a difficult spot with only a few words uttered in under 2 seconds.
Definitely! That's the power of frames: to create strong mental/emotional images with one word/one gesture.
Sounds great can you recommend me yours
Hahaha, I love it!