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Power move: you're not home yet?
Hello guys,
there is this power move that I hear again and again at work. It goes something like this:
- You're not done yet?
- What time do you finish?
- You're not gone home yet?
It is said on a tone that is supposedly to be caring like I'm working too late. But it is said on a tone that is more like "when the fuck are you leaving?"
I don't really know what to say so I reply in a matter-of-fact tone neutrally: "almost done", "I finish at this time", etc.
To me, this is quite passive aggressive.
What do you think?
it may be.
depending on context, my mood and who is the interrogator, I may answer, for example
This takes time and it is important/urgent so I want to do it right the first try, I would/better take my time.
Or:
WHAT? it is too early to go home, I am ok with puting some overtime hours for the good of this company!
Are you on a hurry? do you want me to leave early for some reason?
Hey John!
I would start by asking what they would gain from you leaving early. I'm assuming it's a coworker - a boss would probably use more direct tactics. Is it a single person or multiple? How well are they doing at their job? What's their reputation, especially compared to yours? Have they played other power games with you? If you're doing very well at your job, especially because you're putting in late hours, some people will feel envious of that and try to take you down a peg.
Of course, there could be a not always enforced time rule, so I'd look that up too just to make sure. Than I would seek to stand my ground in a way that remains civil enough for the job at hand. For example, saying the above, but staring them down and speaking more coldly and with less words when they play their game to make it clear that you know what is going on and that you will not be pushed around. Than outmaneuver them by showing your bosses how well you work, making alliances with other coworkers more on your side and/or antagonistic to them and looking for weaknesses in those trying to control you.
Once you have leverage, even by simply standing your ground, you can deescalate and seek more win/win solutions. But you must show strength first.
I'd love to hear what you and others have to say :)
Good answers already.
I'd also first ask who is asking it.
If it's a boss, it might be an indirect compliment/appreciation and it might be a good thing the boss notices that.
If it's a colleague, I'd also find it annoying.
Keep in mind that some colleagues are jealous/afraid of those who put long hours. One, because they're afraid it makes them look bad. And two, because they are represent a big threat for promotion.
I'm going to assume now it's a colleague.
there are two strategies you can take:
- The Machiavellian option is to play it down, and play the long game: you want to avoid becoming a threat so that they do NOT step up their effort. Don't teach them your mindsets and standards, or they might copy it. In this case, you'd just smile and say "yeah, just a few things left". Then, when you're alone with your boss and those who can promote you, you focus more on showing the midsets as well
- One-up back: if you want to cut that out, as well as to bolster your reputation both laterally and downward, you could reply something like:
You: "I don't even know what time it is, and to be honest, I don't care. I only go home once I know I've done a proper job".
Boom.
Now you frame them as clock-punchers, and you put yourself in a whole 'other league. No more fuckery with the guys like you: you're about the job, not the time.
Go ask the time to the other 9 to 5ers.
Thank you very much guys! Very useful!
Please excuse me for the late reply.
Some details:, I had it a few times:
From colleague: yes, I think it's jealousy because they feel I make them look bad.
From direct supervisor: I think it's because it is that they are judged on the over time we are doing. So if I'm doing overtime, it costs more to the hospital and it makes them look bad. However, it is organized in a way that we do a lot of overtime. If you're caring for a patient, the system is not designed that you can hand the patient over to a colleague. However, that is done in other hospitals.
That's why where I am if you do overtime I think the best is to downplay it with colleagues like you proposed (humility is a value in Switzerland even though most people pay lip service to it) and to explain to the supervisor: "oh there was this case it took me a lot of time". So they don't think you were not being effective and making them look bad. They will think: "he stayed longer to help the team", which is what I'm actually doing.
