Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on January 30, 2021, 9:23 pm

Great idea for the thread, John!

And great principle, too!

Yes, absolutely.

Principle 1.2: Introduce your gift & mention its qualities (AKA: "verbal packaging")

And to get all your credits, you might also want to tell a little story about the cake, or share what's so good about it, or why you picked it (fair-value marketing).
Plus, the guests will like it more, and appreciate it more.

Just imagine if one were to simply place a good cake in the middle of the table without saying anything, VS introducing it with the intro it deserves.

In the first case, people might start eating in semi-silence, the only pleasure coming from the cake itself.

In the second case, with the good introduction, you also introduce a new great topic of conversation.
People can talk about their love for cakes / mango, or whatever. They look forward to trying it, appreciate it more, and chances are they even like it more. Then, they might ask where you got it, and now you can also share about a great shop, leading to more and more value-adding socialization.

Call this technique "verbal packaging".
As much as you wouldn't bring a gift without a wrapper or nice bag, you also don't want to present it without its deserved verbal packaging.

Quote from John Freeman on January 31, 2021, 2:15 pm

Thanks, Lucio, that will help me to upgrade my "giving a gift" game.

Principle n°1: Like People

To get better with people, I think it's key to like people. It's even better to love people. People can feel it. If they feel like you like or love them, they will trust you more easily. The consequence is that you'll have the ability to influence them. Which is a good thing.

It's desirable to let ourselves be influenced by people who want good things for us. 

So it's a smart decision to trust people who like or love us. They might be wrong in their opinions, choices and behavior but they have a good intention for us in mind. This the pre-requisite. They don't intend to hurt us (though they might). (Some people intend to hurt us and actually makes us stronger: but it's another topic)

Here is the counter-argument: "many people are good with people and don't like them at all". Yes, it's true. But do you really want to be like these people? 

So, it's a choice. Love is a choice BTW. The difficult part is finding something loveable in people we don't like. It's doable. I do it and did over and over again. You shift from hate to neutral to liking. I mean: liking as in liking them enough that you can collaborate with them.

Quote from John Freeman on February 4, 2021, 10:03 pm

We bond through laughter

It's a video I watched from Charisma on Command and it's so true. Yes, we bond through shared values, respect, shared experience, etc. And we also bond through laughter. This is accessible and actionable for all of us at any time.

Cheers!

Quote from John Freeman on February 6, 2021, 10:58 am

Make the commitment  to surround yourself with high-quality people (and to become higher-quality)

Years ago, influenced by the idea (from RSD, etc.) that you become who you are surrounded with (5 people, etc.), I rejected the people who I thought were not high quality enough. I ended up alone, so that was a bad strategy.

Now, I would recommend to start to observe how people are behaving and invite people you think are high quality to social events. These people will introduce you to other high quality people in a virtuous circle. So if you have low quality people in your circle, don't exclude yourself completely from those circle. Just focus on the highest-quality people around you. Not as a sycophant, but as a friend, as an equal.