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Reading material for avoidant attachment personality

Question from a reader:

I have a question for you.
I have identified a version of avoiding personality in me due to messed up childhood.
I’m sabotaging relationships with possible friends due to inconsistent, confusing and avoidant behaviour. I’m having episodes of loving and then emotionally distancing myself from my husband.
Fortunately he’s is a secure and a very patient type not taking this behaviour personally.
Any books suggestions for me dealing with this subject?
I’m not sure social skills type books alone address this...
Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?

Well, first of all, it's great that you are aware of it.

And it's really great that your husband is secure, patient and does not take things personally.
Those are some great traits there, it's really the hallmark of a mature, strong personality not to take things personally.

It's a rare personality in general, and it's even rarer in a society where entitlement and narcissism seem to be on there rise.

And last but not least, it's great that you are willing to work on it.

Overall, you got all the basics right there.

On the reading list, you are right that general social skills types of books are not enough.
I read a few books on attachment and the best one, in my opinion, remains "Attached" by Amir Levine.

It's more about explaining than curing, but there is good information on the latter as well.
One big takeaway is that secure partners, simply by being secure, help the avoidant to become more secure -and you got that covered-.

Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?
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