#2: IG texting a girl met in a club
Alright guys, first off - thanks for pointing out major mistakes of mine on Scenario #1.
I've now finished the "Texting" module in SU and now trying to implement the strategies.
Scenario #2: - Met in a club.
Last Saturday, me and 2 of my friends went to this club and I met this cute and nice girl there.
We vibed for a bit, I don't really dance lol but another buddy was dancing with her and her gay friend and I think her friend liked this dude.
Anyway, so - we ended up taking a pic together so I asked her IG so she could send me the pic later.
The same night while I was with her and her friend, a random girl started talking to me and we made out in less than 40 or so seconds and then I went on to talk to other girls in the place.
I did feel that there was strong interest from the girl I liked.
Now, onto the texting.
She followed back on Saturday.
My "go-to" would be to text the same day/next but in this case, I decided to play the game a bit differently.
I didn't text her at all until yday.
Yday - posted this cool IG story of me boxing and she "liked" it so I hit her up.
Attached the convo below, would be great to know the mistakes I'm making and new things I can test.
https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1nYmclDaAhrJTlQuD997oG1FDa5JLVb3f
Quick Summary for those that couldn't pull up the screenshots or didn't get the context:-
- I hit her up a few hours after she "liked" my video with a "Was nice to meet you kinda message"
- She has a video of how she underwent a complete transformation (lost her weight etc.) so I told her that was awesome and that I underwent a similar thing.
- A bunch of stupid "vibey" talk after that on alcohol etc.
- At the end I told her that I might've gone a bit to which her response was "how" and I told her I made out with a random girl and might've ignored her (the one I made out with) the whole night since I was busy with other people . (Probably a dick move on my part)
Additional context: Her responses are "rapid" and mine were delayed.
Sounds like a fun night out mate, well done 🙂
Some possible areas for improvement:
- Your texts can be shorter (too long compared to hers)
- Strategically I wouldn't share of having been overweight, but that's just me, it can work if you can vibe with it, but in my opinion safer in person when she can see what a cool guy you are
- Avoid "I was playing with your hair". Was it you who said that? Not that it's always and necessarily a mistake and it can be a good power move. But personally, I'd avoid that
TEST
Curious to see if anyone can guess why I'd avoid that last one...
If anyone wants to guess or share what they think about it, curious to read.
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Hello Reddy and Lucio,
My guess about "playing with your hair". It sets a chasing frame and her as the prize. It's thread-expanding on how much you like her. So it's empowering her.
Quote from John Freeman on September 14, 2023, 11:13 pmHello Reddy and Lucio,
My guess about "playing with your hair". It sets a chasing frame and her as the prize. It's thread-expanding on how much you like her. So it's empowering her.
Yes, exactly, the issues are:
- He is interested in her, rather than the ideal opposite. Of course no woman will chase a man in a club hard unless he's famous. But still, you don't want to thread-expand whatever is not favorable to you
- Coming on a bit too strong, may frame him as drunk over over-domineering
- Can count as the beginning of an escalation, and you generally don't want start escalations unless you can finish them
- Risk of lewd or overly-romantic talk: just to be sure, I'd steer clear of anything that may sound too sexual or romantic before any of those two has obviously happened in both people's minds
- Risk of making her feel slutty: here was this stranger playing with her hair... What would her friend think about that? How will she feel now that she's sober and in the daytime?
And a few more, but those should suffice to stay clear of that, in my opinion :).
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