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Secure attachment style: getting there
Hello Lucio,
Due to childhood, I had an anxious attachment style which I'm actively working to get rid of. I made quite good progress in the past few years but I'm still not fully to a secure attachment style. I'm quite sure it still prevents my relationships from being as good as they could be.
Do you have any resources (the book "Attached"?) that you would recommend?
Hey John,
Yeah, those attachment styles are important.
I myself am not a full secure (yet), but still leaning on the avoidant side.
The anxious is particularly damaging for a man, so it's good that you are aware of it.
I don't remember of a resource that was specifically targeted at moving from anxious to a more secure.
If you find something very effective, please let us know.
But what I'm pretty confident of:
- Being aware of it and consciously starting to behave more like a secure is already a huge step in the direction of becoming more secure
- General self-development through antifragile ego, meditation, taking action, etc. will also help
- Having a secure attachment as a partner is another huge help in a positive direction
- If you had a distant mother, therapy can also help
Hello Lucio,
thank you very much. I think it's solid advice. I did not have a distant mother, more like a distant father. YET is key I agree! This inspires me to correct: "I'm still not fully to a secure attachment style YET"
Have a great day!
