Former Community – We Moved
🆕 Coached community here, for posts & feedback public community here.
Sexual Power Dynamics
Hello TPM community,
as usual, I'll talk about this topic through my personal experience. I am dating since 1-2 months a new GF. I am a lover of women and love to kiss and caress their skin and flesh everywhere and for a long time. So in a way I'm a very giving lover.
The other day after sex, she pointed to her forehead as to say she wanted kissing there. I found it quite dominant and demanding, even if asked with a smile. That's where it dawned on me: through my behaviour I framed her as the sexual prize.
It's a challenge that happened to me before. However, the law of social exchange and power dynamics apply in bed as well. If one is too giving, even if this is pleasurable for the person the other person is framed as the sexual prize. So again, here is the law of optimal balance.
It's important to account for the give and take to have balance, even if it's not to become bean-counting. Otherwise the partner who enjoys giving/caressing ends up setting a norm where the other partner is to be pleased.
Of course, there is also self-development in there: how much one person is comfortable receiving. Well, I made a lot of progress here, so not sure it's the issue. I prefer the active role, so all together, it's something it is to be aware of.
As usual, happy to read your comments if any.
