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Sharing stories in a group
Hello guys,
yesterday I was invited at a friend's place for drinks and board games. At some point people shared travel stories. Of course it was putting showing themselves in a good light (status self-increase). I thought about sharing some of mine but I did not. The reason: I did not want to one-up people with my story. "Listen to my story, how cool it makes me look"
However, I thought about it. I think this applies more in a one-to-one interaction. When you want to be a good listener, connect and don't want to one-up the other person.
In a group setting, it's more a flow/vibing kind of atmosphere. On top of it, it's a matter of contribution and of belonging.
It matters more that you contribute to the current group topic than to have a cool story. It's more "I'm part of the group because we share this experience" (in-group narrative) and "Here is something cool that happened to me that you might be interested in" (value-adding).
So next time, I'll share also my stories without hogging the group's attention.
That is my perspective. Do you guys have any comment on this?
I really like that you always come up with new threads with topics to talk about.
Depending on the people you are interacting with, with travel stories in particular, I like to really dig into their experiences, so for example I ask things like:
- What were your first impressions and the overall atmosphere right after the door of the plane opened? (What was surprising, different, overwhelming, etc.)
- After staying there for a while, did some of your first impressions change?
- What were things you though about this place after you were back home? (What do you miss, what are you glad about having back, etc.)
Things like that, really going into depth of the experience. (I haven't really tried that with people name dropping travel destinations for status though).
You usually also happen to be in a power position asking these questions (if they put in some effort answering them, which is likely), but it will feel very natural if you are honestly interested about their experiences.
I think there is a lot of potential for win-win - they get to share their experiences in more depth than they probably would if nobody would ask them about it, and the group gets some interesting thoughts, impressions and maybe insights.
That’s quite a creative and power-aware way to go about it.
Thanks Anon!
Well, I’m also happy to share thoughts, ideas and experiences with you guys!
Building on Anon's thoughts. You could do a little of both. Ask them questions - what was the coolest thing there to you.
They: we climbed this volcano at dawn.
You: wow was it scary climbing a mountain in dark. They: nah we had this awesome guide.
You: fantastic I remember we had this cool guide when we climbed Kilimanjaro
You : was the view worth the climb
So you chipped in but handed the speaking stick back.
A lot of people comment to grab the convo. Which is a dirty deed when somebody's talking about something they love
That's the best approach, thank you Kevin!
