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Should I ask her out ? (My kine)
Guys,
I was looking for a physiotherapist, and my dad introduced me his.
It's a fine young women.
I would like to ask her out.
Background:
I saw her 3 times to do physiotherapy, we talked, but I didn't see clear signs of interest from her.
Sure, she asks questions about me:
- How is doing your job search
- Do you still have friends here in Toulouse.
- Curious about the place I was living in before.
But the feel is that it's more like the usual questions she asks to everyone.
She also gave me her email address, but again, so I could send her a document.
Now, like I said, we have my father in common, so we are not total cold stranger.
The risk, is rejection: And if I ask her out by email, and she says no, I might stop seeing her.
What do you guys think? Should I give it a shot anyway?
Me: Hi Marion, thanks again for your help. By the way, we should get together for a drink. To some of the places you mentioned today. Something like Thur. or Friday. Would u like to go?
Nah man, don't risk the rejection and getting hurt.
... Can you imagine if that was the advice? :).
Of course the answer is embedded in the question itself and almost always "yes" in these cases.
However, since it seems like you're kind of working together, it's better to be smooth and tactful.
So for example, you can ask her out on the last day of therapy, and in person.
For example:
Last day. I've got to know you a bit during this time and you seem a really kind person. Let's grab some food or drinks one of these days, what do you say
In the meanwhile come across as a cool, high-value guy -"yes, the job search is going great, probably gonna land a good one soon"; "yeah, I know some cool people there"; " the place I was living was unique. There were a couple of spots I particularly loved, I don't know if you've seen... "-
FEEDBACK:
Me: Hi Marion, thanks again for your help.
By the way, we should get together for a drink.
Qualify your ask. Say what you liked about her to invite her out. Even as simple as "you seem like a cool woman to talk to" is better than nothing.
I wouldn't personally use "should" but "let's"To some of the places you mentioned today.
Nah, it gives her leadership. Go to the places you mentioned.Something like Thur. or Friday.
Would u like to go?
Avoid the question, it makes it such a big deal. If you gotta ask, then do something pressure off like "what do you say".
Hi Lucio,
Got it. Makes a lot of sense.
So you say it's better to be patient to wait a little bit longer until I can ask her out in person.
Next session is in 2 weeks... :)
Hmmm, usually, sooner is better than later.
I'd have to know more to advise on the higher odds strategy.
The advantage of later is that you can:
- grow your value in her eyes -these are golden opportunities by the way once you get good at social skills: many women tend to prefer guys they know and respect over strangers-.
- ask in person
On the other hand, 2 weeks is quite some time and Christmas is good for romance.
Funny enough, personally, I'd probably do it now via email, very pressure off.
Say you found a cool restaurant, maybe even attach a picture, and be like "I'm planning to go back one of these days for their X dish, maybe you can join me".
But if I'd have to advise someone else, I might say "in person".
Got it.
What importance do you attach to "sign of interests"?
I tend to think that when I don't see a few, it's already dead.
But here, we are in a professional environment, so it's all mixed up.
Quote from Mathieu on December 13, 2021, 6:37 pmGot it.
What importance do you attach to "sign of interests"?
I tend to think that when I don't see a few, it's already dead.
But here, we are in a professional environment, so it's all mixed up.
And what are those signs of interest you'd be looking for?
All the signs: is she asking Questions, is she looking at me. Touching her hair. Laughing at my jokes. Etc.
by the way she replied:
http://Her: I cannot I am going to Madrid with my boyfriend.
since she doesn’t offer any other options + she’s is not single. I have no other choice but to drop it.
Great, you took your chance, and now you know it wasn't meant to be.
That's one of the reasons why I prefer sooner rather than later: you get your answer soon, don't waste time, you move on -both practically, and mentally-.
Reply to her:
Madrid, that's awesome (plus a bit warmer, which is nice). I wish you two a great time.
That way next time you meet she knows you're not gonna be a stalker or a weirdo and everything's will run smoother.
