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Social climbing at work: case study
Hello,
today at the hospital I got social climbed at the handoff. The handoff is when the resident who was doing the night shift tells the day shift team about the evolution of the patients during the night. They're supposed to know well the cases and basically tell a structured story about them.
It's a moment when the light shines on the resident: it's status-building or status-decreasing. They show how well they know the patient and their case presentation skills. That's also a moment for them to show their medical knowledge. As attendings we have more medical knowledge and as the day shift team we know better the cases than the night shift person. That's the context. Here is the interaction:
Resident: [presents the case]
Me: I'm going to add a few details (it's a power move in itself since I correct the resident. But that's my job and it's important that the day shift team has all the proper information. So it's expected due to my role). [Add details who also showcase my knowledge of the patient and my medical knowledge].
Staff physician (1 rank above me): [makes some comments]
Resident (to staff physician): is it good?
Resident (to me): John, do you want to add something?
Me (looks at her raise a thumb up): Ok
Her: [moves on to the next case]
Why what she did was a power move?
- She knew I did not have anything to add. So it was more about taking back the leadership. So it's not a real question. She knows I'm going to say "No". It's a rethorical question to take the power back.
- It's tasking so now I'm supposed to follow her lead. So I executed with low effort: body language (thumb up) and says just "Ok" not "No it's all good" which would have had a higher investment.
One could say it's fair as she was disempowered. However saying "I'm going to add a few details" contained a light power-protection. It subcommunicated: "most of it good". It was minimizing my contribution to power-protect her. That was my intention at least. Also it's my role and since I know more about the cases when I'm adding details it's value-adding to the team.
So here my mistake is that I still followed her lead. With some perspective, next time I would do that:
Resident: [presents the case]
Me: I'm going to add a few details (it's a power move in itself since I correct the resident. But that's my job and it's important that the day shift team has all the proper information. So it's expected due to my role). [Add details who also showcase my knowledge of the patient and my medical knowledge].
Staff physician (1 rank above me): [makes some comments]
Resident (to staff physician): is it good?
Resident (to me): John, do you want to add something?
Me (without or with looking at her): you can go on
Her: [moves on to the next case]
With "you can go on" I counter-task her. However, "you can" also means that she has a choice, even if rethorical. So it is also power-protecting. It is softer than: "Go on".
I'm happy to read your thoughts on this topic.
My two cents based off your description:
- She might be a typical business-type feminist - hyperalert to perceived power moves and with too little warmth
- I like your proposed solution. A further question might be how to approach this strategically vs. tactically. Strategically it might be possible to solve a potential recurring issue through increasing warmth. As Zan Perrion says (in a different context, but perhaps usable with some modification):
"Women want to be generous to men, and they are-they are massively generous to men who love women, who delight in their desires. Women give. There is no need to take. There is no need for conquering or controlling. This is another thing most men don't understand. It is not man against woman. It is the two of them together against the world."
Thank you for your answer.
Spot on. She’s a high achieving feminist. She’s warm though.
For instance, the first days I met her we were at a dinner with the team.
She said: “It’s like back in the old days! (Sarcastically) The 3 attendings are men and all residents are female”.
There are 7 female residents, 3 male attendings, 2 female staff physician and 2 male staff physicians.
So I told her: “Actually, half of the staff physicians (above me) are females”.
So she was projecting the whole “patriarchy” thing whereas I did not even noticed. And it was actually the first time for them to have 3 male attending physicians. So totally a guilt-tripping power move.
Hi John
Don't get the sitch. How does she know you would not have anything to say?
Hi Transitioned,
yes, written as it is it does not seem obvious.
It was in the relationship between us (her "perfecting" me all the time and other social power challenges), the tone, the context and the "feel" of the interaction.
It's like at the end of the meeting when someone asks someone if they have anything to contribute only to close the meeting. They know this person has nothing else to add, it's a rethorical question to end the meeting.
I could wonder if I'm being wrong here but I trust my guts and intuition.
Quote from John Freeman on July 21, 2023, 8:30 pmThank you for your answer.
Spot on. She’s a high achieving feminist. She’s warm though.
For instance, the first days I met her we were at a dinner with the team.
She said: “It’s like back in the old days! (Sarcastically) The 3 attendings are men and all residents are female”.
There are 7 female residents, 3 male attendings, 2 female staff physician and 2 male staff physicians.
So I told her: “Actually, half of the staff physicians (above me) are females”.
So she was projecting the whole “patriarchy” thing whereas I did not even noticed. And it was actually the first time for them to have 3 male attending physicians. So totally a guilt-tripping power move.
Another idea I've been playing with - sharing in case it resonates: we seek respect - and give away slight signals of uncertainty as to whether we are respected - when we don't fully respect ourselves. So one approach is to work on self-respect. I like to intonate "I respect myself", and feel how that makes me solid, grounded, and (relatively) unafraid of whether other people respect me. It allows me to come of as more confident and self-assured as well.
I only read the first initial post so far, and it seems great to me.
Both the analysis and the solution.
The only thing I'd add is that the power-protection may have been even bigger and/or higher warmth.
For example:
You: good overview, thank you X, let me just add a few notes to it (and then give the floor back to you)
The "give the floor back to you" can also be a good leadership move:
you are giving the floor back to her, but also power protecting because you frame your intervention as a quick interjection, and not like you're going to "steal her show".
However, it's optional.
If you're short on time and/or want to focus more on adding value or if the environment is very "no-nonsense go to the point", then you can cut it out.
Golden, thank you very much Lucio.
That is also what I was wondering when I wrote the post: "could I have power-protected more in the interruption?". I thought not as I thought that it might have sounded too condescending/babying. I now can see it's not the case.
In my notes, I will be using it thanks! :)
Hello Clarkz123,
deep stuff, thanks for your answer. Truth has been spoken. I feel like being silent and soaking it in. It might sound grandiose but that's how I feel.
You're totally right I don't respect myself enough. I can see that now. It is a root cause in many of my behaviours just like I realized self-esteem was thanks to Lucio.
Thank you very much both for your help. I feel supported and I'm grateful to be able to be here.
Quote from John Freeman on July 23, 2023, 10:07 pmGolden, thank you very much Lucio.
That is also what I was wondering when I wrote the post: "could I have power-protected more in the interruption?". I thought not as I thought that it might have sounded too condescending/babying. I now can see it's not the case.
In my notes, I will be using it thanks! 🙂
Yeah, fair enough, I may have missed that (or simply failed to mention you had also come to a similar conclusion).
As usual, you know best and you know the environment best.
So if you have enough "boss authority", then you may not need extra power protection.
Otherwise, it helps.
