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Social intelligence: Going to the marriage or not?


here is the context:

I was part of a group in university where we were having good friendships. However, i discovered that one of the member was actually a frienemy and a mild-to-moderate narcissist. Later, he tried to enter in medicine and failed. Stupidly, I helped him to get in because I was naive and thought that he would enjoy it. To thank me, he offered me one bottle of olive oil (just to get rid of the mental debt).

Now, I enjoy spending time with some member of this group 1 on 1 but not as a group anymore. I used to have some kind of leader status among them, but I bailed out of it.

This guy now is a doctor (helping someone who doesn't deserve it is a mistake I won't do again) and is going to get married. Of course, he invited us.

I'm wondering if I will go or not.


  • It's in my 16 days holiday period so I would lose 1 day of travel which is my passion, but it's not too bad
  • My ego would take a hit to see this guy succeed as I think he has a very selfish attitude and doesn't deserve the attention he's getting. Yes he's smart and all but I think this is not the kind of people we need in this profession at the moment.


  • I could spend some time with my friends and meet new people
  • I could improve my social life.

I think 1 day of less holiday could be worth improving my social life where I am based, locally. I was quite a nomad emotionally and physically these past years.

What do you guys think?

I think he has a very selfish attitude and doesn't deserve the attention he's getting.

I can understand.. There are a lot of people like him. I think you should try to disinvolve emotionally and enjoy the wedding. In addition, it might be a good challenge for you

Great suggestion, thanks.

Yeah, I'd also go.

For one person you don't like, in a wedding, there are probably tens more you would click with.

Plus, weddings are special social settings that don't come often, and can provide good learning experiences.

Finally, there is also the added of the personal challenge: getting over the personal animosity and enjoying your time in spite of someone you might not like.


Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?

Definitely, thank you guys for the advice. I registered and I'm going to go. Going out of my comfort zone, challenging my ego and expanding my social circles: I'm convinced!

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