Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on September 1, 2019, 6:38 pm

I was thinking of launching a mini series on social maneuvering to reach a certain goal or outcome.

Yesterday I had one such example.

Two Girls Sitting Far Away: How to Go For It?

The bar had one closed environment and a large balcony.

I was on the balcony, reclining against the bar and I could see inside two girls.

Both of them were of my liking, but upon better observation, I favored one in particular.

First thought:

• How to best approach? Environment / effort analysis

They were sitting deep into the seating area, taking a few pics of each other.

What does that mean?

Since there was no reason for me to go there, it was going to be a high-effort approach.

It can work great, but not if you're not in a very talkative mood as I was (in those situations, you become an instant attraction for the girls and you better keep it up with some good gab, which I wasn't ready for).

• Seating position: not ideal (no couch in front of them)

They were sitting on a small couch. There was some space near the girl I liked: good. Worst case scenario I could have gone and sat next to her.

But not ideal: you cut off her friend and you must go for a quick hit and run.

There was no seat in front, making a bad situation to approach both of them as I should have crouched down, making my position too high effort.

• One girl moves: I make my move

Finally one of them stands up.
The one I liked least (but still very cute).

Now I got two options: I can intercept her and go for her, or I can go sit next to my main target.

• Intercepting the friend at the bar

I go sit at the bar, and when she comes close I waiver her to come by.

I say:

Me: How did those pictures come out

Notice how this opener works: it's friendly and informal, leading to an instant laugh.

But it also puts me in a power position, as it's slightly judgmental.
An attitude which I keep up a little:

Her: Ahaha, I was just taking my friend's picture
Me: Yeah, but you also got your picture taken
Her: Really? Did I?

She didn't, but the fact that she was willing to abandon her position and go on the defensive so quickly tells me a lot about this interaction.

• Gathering intel for my second approach

Now I get to know that this girl is only traveling here, but that her friend lives here.

I get to know some key background information, like where they're from, what they do etc.

Eventually she asks if she can come back after she got the drinks.
It's not good that she ends the conversation, but it's a positive way of ending as she's asking if she can, plus the willingness of coming back (it's not necessarily true of course, but it might be).

I tell her:

Me: Cool, maybe I'll go to keep compay to your friend

She was a bit dumbfounded here.

• Sitting near the target

Now I got sit near my favorite target, and guess how I open it?

Me: Your friend X told me to come and keep you company
Her: (hands on mouth) Really?

These types of ballsy approaches always make for great attraction, albeit in my experience they don't always translate into dates.

It sends emotions very high up, and if you don't take advantage of it, it's never good when feelings come crashing down and the day after you become "that guy who made a great impression and then nothing :("

This is not always the case of course and sometimes you meet these girls and it's great.

But this is just to warn some guys that confuse "great approaches" with "higher chances of meeting" while the correlation is not that straightforward.

Little later I left because there were no other low hanging fruits I liked and I'm not a big fan of hanging around bars for too long :).