Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on August 23, 2019, 8:46 pm

Hey mate,

Thanks!

On your question now.

You said: "I just need your look at the situation".

And indeed that's what I would need as well, a real proper look.

Advising from text only is a total shot in the dark.
There are the same chances of setting you off in the right direction as in setting you down the wrong path.

The only two things I feel like adding here are these:

• Most social skill resources tell to ask questions, but it's situational

It's true that most people would gain asking more questions.
But most is not everyone, and how and what to do is also situational. People also crave to see the real you, which means you also need to share.
Conversations are a shared business, and as much as interest and questions are a crucial part of it, sharing yourself is also part of that mix.

At the extreme of asking too many questions and sharing too little, people feel "emotionally raped", like people sucked them dry without giving anything (but I don't think that's your case from your description).

• You shouldn't compare high school with university

High school and universities are two very different environments.

High school is an artificial environment where mingling, friendships and social status games are both forced and supercharged at the same time.

University is more like real life, and in real life making both friends and close friends takes a bit more work (and a bit more skills).

So it might be the case that you are being too harsh and unflattering on yourself by comparing your present self to your previous self.

Which is not to say you cannot -or should not- seek improvement, of course :).

Quote from Deleted user on May 15, 2020, 1:42 pm

Thank you for such a valuable information. I have been searching for it for a long time and finally found it. Really appreciate your reply!

Quote from Kieran Williams on May 22, 2020, 6:48 pm

Thanks for the info

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on May 23, 2020, 12:19 pm

Cheers guys.

Quote from Kieran Williams on May 22, 2020, 6:48 pm

Thanks for the info

By the way, is that you in the picture, Kieran?

Quote from Kieran Williams on May 27, 2020, 10:14 am

It wasn't me in the photo, I used a photo of my idol in bodybuilding to constantly remind myself of what physical shape I want to achieve.

 

Quote from alyousifj82 on May 28, 2020, 9:10 am

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on August 23, 2019, 8:46 pm

Hey mate,

Thanks!

On your question now.

You said: "I just need your look at the situation".

And indeed that's what I would need as well, a real proper look.

Advising from text only is a total shot in the dark.
There are the same chances of setting you off in the right direction as in setting you down the wrong path.

The only two things I feel like adding here are these:

• Most social skill resources tell to ask questions, but it's situational

It's true that most people would gain asking more questions.
But most is not everyone, and how and what to do is also situational. People also crave to see the real you, which means you also need to share.
Conversations are a shared business, and as much as interest and questions are a crucial part of it, sharing yourself is also part of that mix.

At the extreme of asking too many questions and sharing too little, people feel "emotionally raped", like people sucked them dry without giving anything (but I don't think that's your case from your description).

• You shouldn't compare high school with university

High school and universities are two very different environments.

High school is an artificial environment where mingling, friendships and social status games are both forced and supercharged at the same time.

University is more like real life, and in real life making both friends and close friends takes a bit more work (and a bit more skills).

So it might be the case that you are being too harsh and unflattering on yourself by comparing your present self to your previous self.

Which is not to say you cannot -or should not- seek improvement, of course :).

can you share these skills

Quote from lzy on June 6, 2020, 7:22 am

what you are doing wrong is more fundamental. you are submissive to and system that makes you pay heavily with time money and opportunity cost for a certificate of education that only puts you in the top 50% as 50% of people have college degrees. if you need to spend 4 years and that much money to get in the top 50% you have no power. you are giving away your power to an institution and everyone in that slavery system knows nothing about power except the people at the top. its a pyramid scheme training you to empower a larger pyramid scheme and give away all your power. the internet has everything you need. stop being a n00b, educate yourself without giving away your power.

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on June 7, 2020, 7:50 am

Quote from lzy on June 6, 2020, 7:22 am

what you are doing wrong is more fundamental. you are submissive to and system that makes you pay heavily with time money and opportunity cost for a certificate of education that only puts you in the top 50% as 50% of people have college degrees. if you need to spend 4 years and that much money to get in the top 50% you have no power. you are giving away your power to an institution and everyone in that slavery system knows nothing about power except the people at the top. its a pyramid scheme training you to empower a larger pyramid scheme and give away all your power. the internet has everything you need. stop being a n00b, educate yourself without giving away your power.

That's what many entrepreneurs and self-made men say, indeed.

At least in countries with very high educational costs.

There are a few good things about a uni degree, though:

• It can provide a good fall-back option: it helps protect your downsides against failures, or in-between ventures by helping you get higher-paying jobs
• It's good for social skills training: some naturally talented folks don't need that, while some others will have more than enough social experience in different formats that they will out-strip any college student. But for many people, it can be a good training ground.

Quote from edwaarrdcampbell on July 21, 2020, 2:50 pm

For me, the socialization process at the university was very easy.
Probably because of the fact that I got along with guys of different ages since childhood.
I think that as long as you are social and outgoing, you are going to be fine.