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Suggestion: friendship module

Hello Lucio,

something I've been struggling with is how to deal with power in friendships. I still tend to give my power away to build a bond. For me a module on power dynamics in friendships would be very valuable!

Thanks a lot for your commitment to this craft!

Hey John,

Yeah, I think that's a great idea.

Do you have some examples on giving away power?

Just two ideas on this topic:

  1. As a rule of thumb, the deeper the friendship, the less it's about power (power never stop being a factor, of course, but then it becomes more about chilling and/or supporting each other and/or enjoying each other's company, and if both guys are cool, nobody is going to willingly one up a friend)
  2. When you're new in a social group, it's OK, and probably better, to let some tests and power moves fly you by rather than escalating. One-crosses and ignoring, rather than one-upping back or frame domination. Especially if some tests or power moves are coming from the leader or from the organizer of the get togethers. That's because you don't have a power base, a history, or friends already in the group. And it's better to grow a big more organically, rather than risking exclusion. A bit like joining a company first. Look around first, make friends, take people's measure, then you start growing and then you might not take


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