Former Community – We Moved
🆕 Coached community here, for posts & feedback public community here.
Surfacing gone wrong!?
Hi Everyone,
I would appreciate all of your thoughts and input.
I was involved in a project, with two other people, Right of the bat one of them took the lead( I had no issue with that) and proposed a few topics which we could work on, I wasn't keen on working on any of those, and I suggested few topics I wanted us to work on and the other two were not keen on it, and finally the topic we decided on was a topic which was already done by a team mates friends, albeit with slight variations.
The guy who took the lead, after a few weeks of radio silence with me , suddenly starts tasking and pulling Power moves like so, One thing to know is all of us are on equal footing except that our age difference.
Him:Â Did you finish this? It's about time you work on it.
Me:Â Â You could have reminded me before.
Him: You shouldn't have to be reminded
Me: Then Stop reminding me now .
This was in the group conversation and we later switched to Dm, where he apologized, I said not to worry about it.
Few days later, I wanted to clear the bad blood between us, and Did the surfacing technique by asking him if he thought I was not going to do my share of work.
Him: Yes you never did any work, you hardly contributed right?
Me: (I wanted to argue saying the whole project has been done before and whatever Input he gave, he had help, whereas I had no help, I didn't say it) Yes.
Him: You are lucky, there are teams which kick out team members who do not perform.
Me : Silent
Him: For me, It does not matter who is on my team, I do the work required and keep going on.(I noticed what was going on here and played along)
Me: Ya thank goodness, you were there!!
What do you guys think of the whole thing? Would love to hear your thoughts.
I feel that I have to find out more about the project situation before jumping to a conclusion.
For example,
- Is this an unofficial project with no set expectations?
And this is why you went on radio silence? - How do you feel about the relative contributions and experience that you and the other person bring to the project?
- Would this be a school or office environment?
- This sounds like video conferencing. Would it be primarily remote working?
I think if there are some arrangements or expectations to finish tasks on a project and you go on radio silence, people may get annoyed.
