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Tasking on something favourable to the taskee

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Hi Bel

Certainly there's room for improvement in her message. If I were in her place, I would have done the math and said something like:

"Good morning Bel. I received the payment today. I guess it should be half the taxable amount - $5,000,000,000,000 according to my calculations. Please, feel free to verify

That way she protects the power you legitimately have and doesn't risk being misinterpreted like she did.

So we could say, based on what you mention here, that when tasking is done to empower you to do something that "puts you on top", it is not a power move but a power-protecting move, because it empowers the taskee?

I don't think that tasking can put you on top - even if you are gaining something from it, even if she's well intentioned, as it seems to be the case. It can be less of an issue given the context, but I generally don't want people to get into the habit of telling me "do this", "do that" usw. even if I'm interested in the outcome.

It may be a cultural bias: in my language, you don't use imperative sentences without some kind of "softener", otherwise it might sound a little too abrupt (I suspect this is universal, though).

But I agree with John's and Lucio's answers: it's important to spot these power moves, but also to analyse them in the bigger picture. If she's generally a likable person and is not in the habit of making power moves, it's better to see it as an isolated case and act as if it didn't happen. The fact that you end up with the final number also rebalances it somewhat.

If you try to address it, it might sound too confrontational. I'd rather save confrontations for when the situation gets really nasty, or if it's a repeated thing.

Bel has reacted to this post.
Bel

Thank you Kavalier, I agree with your view.

In fact, I interacted with her more since my last message in this thread and she is definitely starting to show a "nasty" side and behavior.

So the initial impression (that her message was a way to power move) seems confirmed.

And my behavior toward her is also changing, in that I am starting to distance myself.

Kavalier has reacted to this post.
Kavalier
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