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"Tell me..." following orders in conversation
Hi Guys,
I feel like when someone gives a command or an order as a way of facilitating conversation, it's an expression of dominance that needs to be neutralized. For example, people who answer their phone by saying, "Go."
Based on what I've learned from the course so far, asking questions is already dominant, so to give a command like, "Wow, tell me more about that," seems like it needs to be neutralized because they could have framed it as a question by saying, "Wow, what else can you tell me about that?" but chose to give you an order instead.
I feel the urge to ask a question that neutralizes their command. For example saying, "What else would you like to know?" Or answering their question and then commanding back by saying something like, "Now, tell me a little bit more about yourself."
What I could use clarity on is whether or not I'm overreacting here. Is it safe to answer to a command like "tell me" without the consequence of losing status? What do you normally do in these situations?
Ali,
Your idea of asking a question back to neutralize their power-up move with "what else would you like to know" is great.
I use it often, especially on dates, when a girl says "well, how about you, you haven't told me much about you".
However, yes, it might be that you are overreacting.
Personally, I got the feeling from a few of your recent posts that you might be in the over-analyze phase. And that's great. You might answer to some truly curious questions as if they were power moves, even though they were honest questions or even though they were opportunities for you to deepen the bond and/or increase your power.
In your example:
Them: "wow, tell me more about that"
Look at that "wow".
That's the sign of someone who is impressed. So albeit their question, in a way, says "impress me more" and it's a covert-command, it also builds you up at the same time.
When you reply "what else would you like to know", if you do it in a cold or neutral tone, it's as if you are dousing the flames of their enthusiasm.
What I'd do in that case is to smile and maybe add something "ehehe thanks". Then you can add "what would you like to know more".
Also notice that the reaction "eheh thanks" is a thread amplifier, which amplifies their enthusiasm and further builds you up.
P.S.: edited your post to "hey guys"
I changed your initial address from "hey Lucio" to "hey guys", since there are plenty of smart cookies right now on this forum -including you-, and they can also provide plenty of great inputs. Plus, discussion is always better than just one person replying.
