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"Ping me if you need help" analysis
Hello!
A recurring answer i get mostly from managers at work when i mention that i am working on something during status update team meetings is this:
Me: I am working on Χ.
Him: Ping me if you need help for X.
Im not sure about how to respond to this and if it is the same with the 'How can i help you?' covert power move from sellers mentioned in PU.
In my understanding, it can be framed as disempowering for me implying that i cannot handle the task by myself thus i need help (and maybe i will be in dept?)
On the other hand maybe it could be framed as empowering that he is willing to put time and effort to help me. Like i am worthy of the precious time of someone higher in the company rank.
However maybe that is already part of their role, to help subordinates and maybe social dept does not apply in this case.
Any thoughts?
Hi XH,
In my opinion, depending on how it's said, it's a neutral stock phrase (neither empowering nor disempowering).
It's the manager's job to oversee their subordinates and make sure they're operating effectively. So, it's a common phrase for managers to say, "If you need anything, let me know," as part of their managerial role.
The difference with "How can I help you" is that it doesn’t ask if there’s a way to help, it assumes there’s a way. And, that assumption suggests that the person is in need of that help (which is what makes it disempowering).
In this case, the manager said, "Ping me if you need help...," so there's no assumption being made here and it's still in the green.
If you want to, I'd say a good response would be to simply agree and move on:
You: "I am working on Χ."
Him: "Ping me if you need help for X."
You: "Will do." (Can also add "thanks" at the end if it's appropriate)
Couldn't have put the power dynamics at play into a much better perspective than Ali already did.
As far as replying is concerned one of the ways you can use in my opinion is this.
You: "I am working on Χ."
Him: "Ping me if you need help for X."
You: Right back at you
This will give the impression that if he needs help in 'X' he can ask you too. Or they might take it that you rejected their help (in a polite way).
Ali's on a roll and I agree with him :).
It might a pale yellow-level disempowering if coming from a colleague during a meeting, but from a manager, it's more of a nice offer than anything else.
I also like Growfast's approach of offering the same help back.
Maybe I'd word it differently but the concept behind is spot on.
As a matter of fact, it's a great opportunity for you to show that you're in his corner.
For the boss one how about:
"Thanks it would be great to work together csome time.". I m not sure. Managers do like very short Comms. But maybe this is reframing too much as being on their level
Quote from Transitioned on February 5, 2022, 10:35 pmFor the boss one how about:
"Thanks it would be great to work together csome time.". I m not sure. Managers do like very short Comms. But maybe this is reframing too much as being on their level
Yeah, exactly, you self-examined well, too much putting yourself at their level.
Can come across as a power move or like you're not respecting their title / level.
I was trying to work with your tip: "...it's a great opportunity for you to show that you're in his corner."
Wasn't sure how to word it.
Thank you Ali, Growfast, Lucio and Transitioned for writing your thoughts on this.
Ali's distinction between how/if was an aha moment for me which i completely missed and makes much sense now!
