Texting after first dates

#1 · January 1, 2022, 1:27 pm

Hey! Here is a "problem" I seem to run into quite often, and would be good to learn how to solve. Information on this could also be useful for many.

After a good first date (usually w/ lay), when she is leaving, often they say that she'd like to meet again sometime.
I just respond something along the lines of "yeah, had a great time too, it was a nice time" or something and leave it at that.

Sometimes they text a short time or a few days after the date, then I set up a meeting. However, sometimes, they do not seem to text few days after the date, and maybe call/text randomly after quite a longer time, or not at all. I do believe they mean that they'd like to see again as the dates have been great, but could it also be just politeness with no intentions to meet?

How should you continue from there? AMS says wait 7-10 days, CW says (if i recall correctly) wait a few days to hit her up, if she hasn't.
Im not necessarily looking for a relationship, but would sure like to see again. It seems to me that this "after first date texting part/dynamic" seems to be an interesting part of the certain relationship and the power dynamic.

Thanks!

#2 · January 1, 2022, 5:55 pm

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on January 1, 2022, 5:55 pm
The next date invite is one of the crucial stages of dating.

It's also one of the phases where most men lose the most power because they have to make their interest more explicit, lead, or pursue.
And it's up to the woman to accept or reject.

In terms of "Straight Line Seduction" chart:

Not all steps are necessary and one can go from approach to sexual escalation quickly and without much in between.

But when all steps are present, they tend to be the most power-crucial.

Exceptions always apply of course but, generally speaking:

After sex his power goes up by quite a bit.

And the likelihood of a second date / meet increase by a big margin.

But especially these days in the West where sex has become less meaningful, the first time having sex isn't enough to turn the power-tide (until sex becomes regular, women are generally higher power).

It's still looking very good for him, but there are still some important hurdles to clear.

Not to sound like a sales answer, but there is a lesson on turning sex into relationships/regulars in SU, and it would take me quite some time to summarize without copy-pasting.

That being said, to answer the question more literally:

7 to 10 days is too long

and not a good idea in my opinion.

After sex is the crucial time when many women either frame sex as a beginning, or as a one-time thing (and potentially feel slutty about it).

The issue there is in thinking that "the more power, the better". A common male mindset mistake to think that "the more, always the better".

Instead, after sex, he's power up.

He doesn't need more power, he needs more warmth/availability/connection.

Tell her to let you know when she's back

So you get a text right that evening and keep the communication channel open, which makes everything smoother.

It's more of a BF type of step and very high in warmth and caring, but if you care about someone and/or are generally a person who takes care of the people around him, then it's all good

Call / text the day after or two days later

Makes sense?

The next date invite is one of the crucial stages of dating.

It's also one of the phases where most men lose the most power because they have to make their interest more explicit, lead, or pursue.
And it's up to the woman to accept or reject.

In terms of "Straight Line Seduction" chart:

Not all steps are necessary and one can go from approach to sexual escalation quickly and without much in between.

But when all steps are present, they tend to be the most power-crucial.

Exceptions always apply of course but, generally speaking:

After sex his power goes up by quite a bit.

And the likelihood of a second date / meet increase by a big margin.

But especially these days in the West where sex has become less meaningful, the first time having sex isn't enough to turn the power-tide (until sex becomes regular, women are generally higher power).

It's still looking very good for him, but there are still some important hurdles to clear.

Not to sound like a sales answer, but there is a lesson on turning sex into relationships/regulars in SU, and it would take me quite some time to summarize without copy-pasting.

That being said, to answer the question more literally:

7 to 10 days is too long

and not a good idea in my opinion.

After sex is the crucial time when many women either frame sex as a beginning, or as a one-time thing (and potentially feel slutty about it).

The issue there is in thinking that "the more power, the better". A common male mindset mistake to think that "the more, always the better".

Instead, after sex, he's power up.

He doesn't need more power, he needs more warmth/availability/connection.

Tell her to let you know when she's back

So you get a text right that evening and keep the communication channel open, which makes everything smoother.

It's more of a BF type of step and very high in warmth and caring, but if you care about someone and/or are generally a person who takes care of the people around him, then it's all good

Call / text the day after or two days later

Makes sense?

Buchi Mbaebie, SocialPower and 3 other users have reacted to this post.

Check the forum guidelines for effective communication.
---
(Book a call) for personalized & private feedback

#3 · January 2, 2022, 2:25 pm

Thank you! This was great information and now I know how to deal with this situation.

Lucio Buffalmano and Matthew Whitewood have reacted to this post.