Quote from Ali Scarlett on June 3, 2023, 7:28 pm

The Introvert’s Edge to Networking by Matthew Pollard: Summary & Review

The Introvert’s Edge to Networking: Work the Room. Leverage Social Media. Develop Powerful Connections is a fifteen-chapter book on networking that promises to give you a system to harness the strengths unique to introverts that give them an advantage over extroverts.

Exec Summary

• You need a networking system: it will give every conversation a similar structure so it’s easy to practice and prepare for them. (And win when those conversations happen.)
• Use passion, mission, story, and niching in your conversations: to increase your networking success rate at conferences.
• Don’t try to get the deal at the networking event: try to get a follow-up meeting. Then, at that meeting, try to get the deal.

FULL SUMMARY

About the Author: Matthew Pollard is a consultant, speaker, and also the author of the book, The Introvert's Edge: How the Quiet and Shy Can Outsell Anyone.

Chapter 1: Why Introverts Make Better Networkers

Most introverts feel sleazy and inauthentic while networking, hating self-promotion, and going to events that result in wasted time.

But, that’s often because they have a misunderstanding regarding what networking should be.

Avoid these types of networking:

• Transactional networking: similar to door-to-door sales, this is an approach of walking into the room, trying to sell as much as possible as soon as possible, and leaving to go rinse and repeat at the next location. (Relationship comes at a distant second.)
• Aimless networking: these types of networkers come from a more authentic place, but still engage with an unstructured approach that results in a lot of small talk, shallow connections, and few successes.

The third style of networking that Pollard suggests you adopt is this:

• Strategic networking: a systematic approach that combines strategy and preparation so you don’t need to be charismatic and energetic. (This approach leverages a process of using strengths that are often natural to introverts such as active listening and empathy to outperform networkers that focus on being funny, competitive, or gregarious.)

Chapter 2: Channeling Your Superpower

Before walking into a networking event, Pollard reminds himself of his passion for making an impact and the mission he’s set himself on in order to energize himself with excitement and enthusiasm for the networking ahead.

Before you begin networking, take the time to find what you’re passionate about and channel it into your networking efforts by aligning your networking aims with who you are (your passion) and the people you want to serve (your mission).

Pollard: “As self-proclaimed introvert, Simon Sinek, outlines in his book, Start with WHY, you need to understand why you care enough to go out and network in the first place. After all, if you don’t care, why should anyone else?”

How to Discover Your Passion

To discover your passion, try answering these questions:

1. What do you want to see happen, stop happening, change, or improve in the world (within the workplace, with customers, with suppliers, with prospects, etc.)?
2. Why do you care?
3. What’s the driving passion behind it?
4. I could’ve done anything, why this profession?
5. Do I have any personal connection to the business/career I’ve chosen? Are there any personal stories that connect me to it?
6. At work, what do I get my greatest joy from? (And what did I get my greatest joy from at my previous jobs/businesses?)
7. What are the tasks that I do that make time fly?
8. What do I hate/love seeing happen to prospects, customers, suppliers, coworkers, etc.?
9. What are my favorite types of problems to solve at work?
10. What do I get the greatest joy from in my personal life? And how can I make that relevant in my business/career?

In short, realize your passion, craft your mission, and then start sharing both with the world.

Chapter 3: You Can’t Please Everyone

Pollard: “Our focus with niching is purely on obtaining new prospects and employment opportunities from outside your current customer base or referral network. To focus your energies on being the perfect fit for that select few. That’s it.”

Keep in mind these myths about niching:

• Niching down doesn’t mean you have to turn away any business or opportunities that fall outside your niche. (You can consider any clients and opportunities you get.)
• Niching down also doesn’t mean you’re “trapped or confined to that niche forever”. (You can expand whenever you’re ready.)

When you go to a networking event, share your passion, mission, and niche with them.

If the person you share those three things with doesn’t work in that space, do not pivot niches to try and remain relevant to them. Instead, stick to your niche and look for an introduction to someone they know who is a fit.

How to Discover Your Niche

Step 1: Get a pen and paper. Make two lists. 

Note: If you’re just graduating college or changing industries, skip this step.

On the first list (called your “money list”), write down the names of people who are high-paying customers that pay you what you’re worth and never haggle on price. This also includes people who only worked with you once but were happy to pay you well for your work. (This is irrelevant of if you enjoyed working with them or not. If you made great money from the person, add them to the list.)

For the second list (called your “evangelists list”), write down the names of people who sing your praises. It could be people who rave to others about your work or products, consistently send referrals your way, or people who, when you ask for a testimonial, write you a page.

Make both lists as exhaustive as possible. (Even stretching it to anyone who’s ever paid you well or had a positive interaction with you professionally.)

If you’re an employee performing this exercise, make the same lists, but define each list from a career professional’s standpoint.

For your money list, think in these terms: 

• Your internal customers and your employers’ external customers: what customers paid the most? What external customers always wanted to work with you (and were happy to pay your employer because they got to work with you)?
• Your current and former bosses, direct or indirect managers, and even coworkers: which ones ensured you were paid your bonuses, gave you generous raises, or otherwise financially rewarded you? Who gave you opportunities that either directly or indirectly led to a monetary benefit?

On your evangelist list will be the people who:

• Are always telling others about you and your outstanding work
• Might’ve recommended you for special projects or awards
• Constantly encouraged and supported you in seeking promotions
• Worked with you in the past and are very happy to serve as references
• Anyone who appreciates you, trusts you, and will support you

Step 2: Once both lists are finished, sort them.

Look at all of the names across both lists and take note of the similarities.

Whatever similarities you find, sort those names into groups according to those characteristics.

For example, people who want help with a specific outcome. (E.g. Veterans needing career guidance as they reenter civilian life.)

Or, even simple demographics (such as age, gender, and marital status), psychographics (such as beliefs that determine how they think and behave), and geographics (location).

Get exhaustive about coming up with any kind of conceivable way to sort your lists into multiple groups that share characteristics.

And don’t make the mistake of discarding groups that have only one or two names in them.

Step 2.2: Research your niche.

Thoroughly research all your possible options by checking out information sources related to your groups of interest (such as podcasts and magazines or reaching out to people who are already working with/for one of the groups you’re evaluating).

Check in with yourself to see if your excitement grows or dissipates as you learn more about their problems and focuses.

Pro Tip: Give yourself a deadline. You can research forever, so give yourself a limit to how long you’ll spend researching each group, then move on.

Step 3: Get a red and blue marker.

With the red marker, circle the groups where everyone in it is an almost sure money-maker for you or your company. 

(If you notice groups where a majority are money-makers but not everyone, try niching that group down further to weed out those who aren’t profitable.)

Repeat this process with a blue marker for the groups where everyone in it is an evangelist.

Look at the groups that received both a red and a blue circle. Out of these double-circled groups, pick the one that aligns most with your passion and mission to be your target niche.

Chapter 4: We All Tell Stories

Stories can be a way of: 

• Mentioning the competition without badmouthing them
• Instilling a belief and emotion that their problem is painful and difficult to solve without trying to scare them into giving you their business.
• Educating them on the benefits of your offer without putting them into information overload

Also, you only need to keep three stories in your toolbox: one for each of the main problems, wants, or needs that your niche has.

How to Start Crafting Your Stories

Ask yourself:

1. What are the three major issues, problems, or desired outcomes my niche has or wants? (Hint: you discovered this in the last chapter already.)
2. What is the solution, suggestion, strategy, product, or implementation I recommend to my niche for each of the three problems or outcomes discussed?
3. What is one story I have (or that we have as an organization) that describes someone who had one of those problems, issues, or desired outcomes, that implemented my solution and got positive results?

Pro Tip: Don’t try to cover all three problems, issues, or desired outcomes in a single story. That will overwhelm your prospective customer or employer. And remember that the story isn’t and shouldn’t be about you, it’s about the person you helped (since that’s where the impact will be delivered).

How to Structure Your Stories

A powerful story has four primary parts:

1. The problem, want, or need: start by talking about the “before” state of the person. What was it like for them before you came on the scene? (Here, highlight both the monetary and emotional costs.)
2. Analysis and implementation: share the epiphany experience, the realization made, and the journey the real person went on. (Do not teach here or you’ll risk waking their logical brain.)
3. Outcome: this is the “after” state of the person. What benefits are they experiencing now after working with you?
4. Moral or high-level learning: never let them draw their own conclusions because you never know where their minds might go. So, instead, spell out the moral of the story for them articulately. Don’t leave it to chance that they’ll get it on their own.

As far as how much time to dedicate to each part of the story, give 35% to part one, 20% to part two, and another 35% to part three.

Chapter 5: Our Difference Defines Us

You need a “unified message” (UM) that will serve as a hook—a catalyst to creating interest in your target niche.

It’s only one, two, or three “perfect words” that spark intrigue in your counterpart. (For example, he recommended one of his female clients that rather than calling herself a content strategist, calling herself, “The Mission Maven”.)

Don’t introduce yourself by your professional title because if you do, people will pigeonhole you into a “commodity box”. They’ll only think of you in the capacity of the title you give them and won’t care to explore other ways you might be able to work together outside of that. They may also make snap judgments or have preconceived notions about you (and your fees) based on prior experiences with other people of the same title.

So, instead, introduce yourself with a unique nickname so people ask for more information. 

As a business consultant, when people ask, “What do you do?” Pollard responds, “I’m ‘The Rapid Growth Guy’” as if they should know what it means. 

And, when they inevitably ask what that means, he starts sharing who he is and the value he can provide.

Pro Tip: Don’t share your UM with friends and family, it’s normal for them to dislike it. Only share it with prospective clients and employers because it’s their reactions that really matter.

Chapter 6: Speak to the Right People

Adopt the attitude that everyone has the potential to help you on your mission. And it’s your job to discover how.

Treat everybody like they have the potential to be a prospect, momentum partner, or champion.

• Champions: an elite group of high achievers and influencers who really make the world go round. The people who can seriously give your rocket ship a huge boost.
• Momentum partners: a small group of connections who would willingly open up their Rolodex for you and for whom you’d do the same. These are your allies.

As much as the previous chapters focus on networking for clients or a job, Pollard makes the switch now that networking is not primarily about finding people who want to hire you. 

It’s more about finding those momentum partners and champions that could pave the way to a multitude of sales opportunities or help you land a job far beyond what you’d ever hoped for.

Sacrifice Short-Term Gain for Larger Long-Term Upsides

Here, Pollard tells the story of how business thought leader, Judy Robinett, reached out to him seeking advice and he had two options. 

He could treat her like a prospect and charge her for the advice. Or, he could treat her like a momentum partner or champion and give the advice for free to build the relationship.

He chose to give the advice for free—asking for nothing in return—and she began introducing him to contacts who advanced his business (such as podcasts, top influential figures in business, and so on).

After receiving those introductions, he still continued to give her more value and she continued to reciprocate.

Note: Notice, some would try to take her on as a paying client and try to get her to give them introductions as well. Instead, he gives the value for free to get the relationship (knowing she's a high-value contact with a collaborative attitude), then lets her give back while building their friendship.

Do Your Research and Prepwork Beforehand

Before an event, do your research to find out who’s going to be there and to start conversations early so you can simply continue those talks at the event.

By doing this initial preparation, you can also plan your conversation topics and prioritize the ones with more common ground and ones they’ll be most interested in (which avoids small talk).

Chapter 7: What to Do in the Room

For starters, focus on the system, not the conversation. When you're first starting out, don't focus on trying to have a perfect conversation. Focus on trying to have a more structured conversation first. 

That way, your conversations will be more similar and it'll be far easier to become more well-practiced because you can constantly test and improve upon the details within the same structure.

How to Invite Conversations

Here’s the six-step process:

Step 1: Always try to be the first to ask, “So what is it you do?”

Listen intently, empathize, and ask genuine questions.

With all of your focus on them, at some point, they’ll ask you the same.

Step 2: Answer by saying, “I’m the [insert UM].”

They’ll ask you what that means.

Step 3: Share a concise statement drawing from your passion, understanding of your niche, and the three main problems you solve or outcomes you provide for them.

For example, “I love seeing [niche] [define success]. However, I find that [niche] [define problems].”

Then ask, “Do you know anyone like that?” and wait for a response (which is almost always “yes”).

Step 4: Share your mission.

Say, “Well, I’m on a mission to help [niche] [realize/achieve pleasure of attaining it or overcome/avoid pain of not attaining it]. Not by [insert what most people are doing], but instead focusing on three often [neglected/forgotten/ridiculously simple] steps.

Step 5: Act like you’re going to explain, then interrupt yourself. (“Actually, you know what? Let me give you an example. See, when I first met…”)

Step 6: Finish with a moral then add, “Does that make sense?”

Don’t Try to Land the Deal

When people express interest in your offer and ask for the price, don’t go for it. A networking event is not the place to start talking about the details of the deal.

Instead, Pollard recommends you say something like this:

You: “I’m honored that you’re open to the possibility of working with me further. I have no doubt I could help. However, today, I’m here with a ‘give back’ focus. Having a sales conversation with you now in this safe environment would feel like an abuse of trust. I’d love to discuss the possibility at another time if you’re open to it.” 

Then, if they say “yes”, book a meeting with them for another day.

Use a CTA

If they don’t express interest, however, use a CTA to move them toward the deal.

For example, for prospects, you can say this:

You: [Spoken like you’re indifferent to the outcome and only trying to help] “If you’re open to it, we can schedule a quick call, Zoom meeting, coffee, or lunch. And I can talk you through the process I used to help Wendy. Would that be helpful?”

You should have three separate CTAs for your three separate groups: prospects, momentum partners, and champions.

How to “Run a Route” (Navigate the Room)

From Pollard himself:

Pollard: “Where most people go to an event and find a place to sit, stand, or even hide, I walk through the room, looking for faces I recognize, or smiles and eye contact from people who recognize me. Often within minutes this leads to a ‘chance encounter’. The key to doing this well is walking from place to place always looking like you’re heading somewhere but are in no rush to get there. I often walk from the bar to the bathroom. Then, to the catering station and then, if needed, even outside like I’m planning to make a phone call, until that chance encounter happens. Needless to say, in a small room, you can only do this once or twice before it looks strange. But, if you’ve connected with people beforehand, I find it never takes that long…at a formal networking event, when I feel things are coming to an end, I make it a point to walk around the event space one last time. Just like when I arrive, I walk casually around the room. But, this time, I’m only looking for people making direct eye contact…usually, they’ll say something like, ‘I was hoping I’d run into you before you left.’”

Chapter 8: The Step Everyone Forgets

You’re not imposing or being pushy by following up.

And waiting and hoping that people will follow up with you (so you don’t have to) is a losing strategy.

How to Follow Up with Prospects

You have two options depending on your initial conversation.

If they agreed to a follow-up discussion and you scheduled it right then and there, then your follow-up is simply an email confirming that meeting.

If you didn’t schedule a follow-up meeting, but they asked you to send them some availabilities, then your message should be offering at least two different times or, even better, a link to your calendar scheduling software and end with a simple closer like “looking forward to hearing from you soon”.

Chapter 9: The Feedback Factory

The first several times you go out networking should be about obtaining feedback. The goal is to discover what works, what doesn’t, and what inspires interest within your niche.

Confirm the effectiveness of your UM by validating it at networking conferences. (How do people react and respond to it?)

Chapter 10: The Digital Frontier

You can still follow Pollard’s networking system on virtual mediums by articulating your prepared statements in your LinkedIn profile and conversations.

MORE WISDOM

• Niching down is for more than only marketing, it’s also for networking

Pollard: “You need to accept that success doesn’t come from being everything to everyone. But, being the only logical choice to a select few.”

• Use storytelling as the vehicle for giving information-based value

When you want to give value in a conversation by sharing information that can solve their problem, don’t just give the answer and don’t try to tell them everything you know. Instead, share a brief (relevant) story.

Pollard: “Your job when networking is not to download a lifetime of experience. But, instead, to tell a powerful story that educates and inspires action. If you do this, listeners will feel a greater connection to you. They’ll feel that you’re giving them phenomenal value. And they’ll be much more likely to want to work with you.”

Pollard: “Stories shortcircuit the logical brain, allowing you to speak directly to the emotional one. [See Start with WHY.] This gives you a huge advantage in the networking room.”

• Don’t judge books by their cover and you’ll sometimes create your own luck

Stories of people meeting incredible contacts sound like pure luck, but it's oftentimes a “created” luck that results from a willingness to talk to anyone, regardless of how successful they may or may not appear.

You never know who someone is or might know. (Albeit, I encourage you to talk to people for more than only the transactional hope of them “being somebody” or having something to give.)

• Understanding the social exchange maximizes your results from networking

People who walk away from events with nothing and think to themself they got unlucky or that networking doesn't work, often don't understand the social exchange and, as a result, are ruining their own networking chances.

QUOTES

On networking as a career professional:

“Networking for a job is the exact same as networking for new clients. The only difference is you’re doing it to land one long-term customer instead of several.”

Real-Life Tips

• Ask your best customers for specific feedback on what in particular makes them loyal to you

This way, you can learn what your strengths are that make you unique in the marketplace (i.e. your competitive edge). 

And in doing so, play to your strengths by including them in your networking conversations to differentiate you from your competition.

• Be careful of how you present yourself if your title has a bad reputation

For example, don’t introduce what you do by saying you sell insurance if you know insurance salesmen have a reputation for being pushy.

Pollard gives the example of when he introduced himself as a sales coach at a time when many were conducting scams. As a result, he got grouped in with that bunch of poor businesspeople with that introduction.

I’d also give this same warning to anyone working in an MLM. (See “This is why you must avoid network marketing & MLM.”)

• Do not approach people who seem to be enjoying a “closed”, private conversation

You’ll be the guy who interrupted them and who they’re both waiting for to leave.

• Use an online scheduling software that allows you to send people a link to your calendar

It avoids back and forth that risks losing the meeting.

• Always try to end conversations on a high note

That will give you the best chance of getting a “yes” when proposing a follow-up meeting before walking away.

Cons

• Only focuses on conference networking

Doesn’t go over other forms, such as content-based networking.

And for a book that focuses primarily on conferences, I would’ve liked to see some information on how readers can host their own.

• “Do what you love. Love what you do.” And if you can’t, then don’t do anything at all?

Pollard emphasizes the idea that passion should be the driving force behind all of your networking efforts because it gives you charisma, enthusiasm, energy, and focus.

But, what about the days when one isn’t feeling passionate? 

Alternative strategies for bringing excitement and enthusiasm to networking could’ve been helpful here.

• Passion over power dynamics?

Pollard seems to make the case that it’s those with the most passion who inspire others to do business with them.

But, passion isn’t everything. And where passion is missing, power awareness can still secure the deal.

• Recommends introducing yourself with an “I help” statement

Pollard suggests you should introduce yourself with your UM and then an “I help” statement.

One real-life example he gives is, “I am The Authority Detective…I help thought leaders and influencers uncover why their website content isn’t getting great rankings on Google.”

But, Nick Kolenda, author of Methods of Persuasion, recommends you remove phrases like that whenever possible because it often doesn’t add anything (see “Pull ‘em into your website”).

So, another alternative might be to change “help” to “give” (which does add value since it gives insight into what customers would be getting).

For example, “I am The Authority Detective…I give thought leaders and influencers insights that uncover why their website content isn’t getting great rankings on Google.”

• Adopt the attitude that everyone has the potential to help you on your mission…up to a point.

Viewing everyone as being able to give you value is a great attitude to have in general for discovering and creating opportunities that others would have missed or overlooked.

But, I feel the author should have added the caveat that after a while of talking to someone, it doesn’t make sense to keep digging.

Just as when one is digging for gold, there’s a time to stop and move to another location that might have higher prospects of you striking lucky.

• You don’t always need to avoid the “matchers” or “balance-sheet makers”, you only need to focus on the good ones

Pollard references Adam Grant’s work (see Give and Take) noting that there are givers, takers, and “matchers”. Matchers are people who give back (i.e. match) however much you give them.

Pollard calls matchers “balance-sheet makers” though because they keep a mental or physical ledger. They may do something for you, but they expect a favor of equal value to be returned to them at some point. And if you do a favor for them, they feel indebted to you until they pay it back. (It works both ways.) 

That sounds great, except that Pollard also says these balance-sheet makers are always keeping score and will eventually start to feel nervous because they owe you or angry because you owe them. And that because of this you should focus on the givers.

Well, Pollard is right that that can be the case for the matchers who are social bean counters (those guys constantly keeping meticulous score). 

But, it’s not the case for the matchers who are enlightened collaborators (and those types can sometimes make for better relationships than pure givers too).

• You always have something to give

Even in the case of networking with champions, you can offer them value by asking about them and what they’re excited about, looking for needs they have that are outside of their expertise, and offering to fill that need for them. (For example, Pollard gave value to a champion mentor of his who’s a bit old school by giving him advice on how to use social media as a promotion tool.)

• Go into value-delivery overdrive for the champions

The more high-value they already are, the more value you should give to make up the value imbalance. (And that value-giving should have no strings attached.)

• Felt a little out of order

It might’ve made more sense to have the section on how to move around the conference room before the section on how to invite conversations because the way Pollard teaches it, it’s navigating the room effectively that leads to those conversations in the first place.

• Recommends scheduling a coffee

Albeit, it's not as bad in the cases where you’re booking coffees with people of equal status to build a friendship and give them value as well, a lunch is still usually better.

• Makes no mention of ambiverts

NYT bestselling author, Daniel Pink, references a study where, in sales, extroverts made for the worst salespeople due to talking too much and being poor listeners.

And that study credited introverts as better salespeople due to being better listeners. But, it also noted that they weren’t as effective as a third group because they lacked the assertiveness to go for the close.

That third group was ambiverts—people who are both introverted and extroverted.

And I woud’ve been curious to hear the author’s thoughts on ambiverts as well as his position on how they would fair against introverts in the networking room.

Pros

• Applies to both introverts and extroverts

This book shares lots of valuable insights that apply to anyone struggling with networking, regardless of personality characteristics.

• A great example of how most networking events typically go for most people

And in chapter one no less, this book accurately opens with the usual story of how networking often results in a waste of time. (And it applies to both introverts and extroverts alike.)

• Great social exchange mindsets and practices

This book avoids naive giving attitudes, selfish taking mindsets, and competitive frames and instead encourages enlightened collaboration.

He also shares the idea of having an abundance mindset to avoid worrying about losing by giving. 

For example, he recalls a time when he was part of a speaker’s group created for speakers to get together and brainstorm how to get more bookings. 

At one point, he suggested the idea that after they each do a speaking, since organizers are always on the hunt for new ideas from new speakers (to keep things interesting for their audience), they could recommend someone from this room.

The room quickly went quiet as no one liked the idea. It turned out many were worried about giving others leads and not getting any in return. One person even said, “I don’t want to give up my customers to the competition.”

And Pollard says here:

Pollard: “I remember thinking, this is an industry that spends hundreds of billions in the US alone. Seriously? Get out of scarcity mode mate.”

• Really great bonus story in the “How I Learned to Network” chapter

Here, Pollard shares a story of how he used networking for his goal of getting into one of the most exclusive clubs in Melbourne, Australia, in his early twenties.

It was a very nice change from the usual goal of just getting more clients or a job to creating the social lifestyle he wanted and showed the added use cases of networking with some more great takeaways.

Review

The whole book revolves around one strategy that Michael Pollard crafted, refined, and shares with his clients. So, if you’re looking for a book with multiple networking methods, another resource would be a better place to look. 

But, the strategy Pollard teaches is very good and supported by solid social exchange advice.

And he goes more in-depth with his scripts and techniques than most other authors who are teaching networking. So, while it’s not a perfect book (and no book is), it’s certainly a very great place to start.

Get the book here.

Or, check out the best books on social skills.