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To recover from a social faux pas: surface it (case study)
Was watching this interview purely for the power dynamics and taking notes*
There are several very interesting power dynamics tidbits, but this post now is more about social intelligence (albeit of course the two overlap and intertwine):
Chris: bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bal blaa bla (talks way too long) <---- this was the social faux pas
Jocko: I agree (smiles) <---- the tremendous difference in effort expended should make it obvious that this was a joke/fun power moveÂ
Chris: (starts talking about something else)
This is where Chris missed his chance to laugh and surface his initial mistake.
Then:
Jocko: do you know why I'm laughing right
Chris: why
Jocko: because you were telling the story about this guy who gave really brief answers and then you talked for six minutes and I said I agree, so it's just having fun (laughs)
(both reach out for a drink, somewhat awkward)
Chris: good man (<---- power moves back, not too bad actually albeit it woudl have been a lot better to catch his own mistake before it had be explained to him)
(drinking pause)
Then, if you notice, you can feel that the atmosphere after that is a lot tenser.
Both players were focusing on power dynamics and not too chummy with each other:
Chris: you and Zeno have a lot in common (<----- "smart alec power move", sub-communicating he has superior knowledge and IQ)
Jocko: (very dry and dominant) maybe (inhales loudly)
BTW, either Chris' vibe or power move here may have been very effective.
Just a bit later Jocko says "I don't sit around and think about a lot of stuff, which may be obvious I guess".
And then Chris highlights that he actually thinks, so he was "doing himself a disservice (by saying he doesn't think much)".
*
P.S.:
I'm thinking about a potential minicourse in the future for "interviewing power dynamics"
Chris confirms very high power, though.
In this example Jocko initially thought the question was ridiculous and he was laughing in his answer.
Chris was initially taken aback so his reaction wasn't perfect in the beginning.
BUT
He holds frame like it's a normal question to be taken seriously, and sub-communicates Jocko should do the same and take it seriously.
And Jocko falls in line to take it seriously:
Chris: (question)
Jocko: (starts laughing about the question as if it shouldn't be taken seriously)
Chris: (serious) what? It's a pantomime
Jocko: (stops laughing, gives a serious answer)
