Former Community – We Moved
🆕 Coached community here, for posts & feedback public community here.
Self-aggrandizing answers to display higher value (show off)
Hello everyone,
Todd says that when a girl asks you "what is your job?" you should say "I make the World work" instead of "I'm an engineer" and then start a mini story of you explaining why you became an engineer.
His analysis:
When she asks about you, she's investing. In my mind, it's the person answering who's investing.
Also: the more you tell a story, the more you show your personality and dominates the frame as the frame is currently yours. In my mind, it makes you invest as you are expanding more energy i.e. you are giving.
I'm not sure which is which. I would tend to agree that when she asks you a question it's a good opportunity to show your personality and have your frame on display. So I think it's a matter of balance.
Hey John, I'm not sure here where your interpretation starts and where Todd's ends.
To be accurate, one should look at the context and example.
But generally speaking, both asking and answering are often a form of investment -asking show interest about you when asking, and providing the requested info and expanding effort when replying-.
But while a brief answer is often a form of under-investment, a long one is often over-investment.
Anything can work in the right context and with the right attitude of course, but generally speaking, that type of big-sounding answer ("I make the world work") can easily come off as try hard to me. And the mini story without being prompted can also end up as over-investment.
P.S.:
I changed the title to a more descriptive one.
Hello Lucio,
Thanks for changing the title. It's clearer this way, I agree.
Yeah, I'll be more clear:
His analysis 1
When she asks about you, she's investing.
My analysis 1
When you answer her question, you're investing.
His analysis 2
The more you tell a story, the more you show your personality and dominates the frame as the frame is currently yours.
My analysis 2
The more you tell a story, the more you invest as you are expanding more energy i.e. you are giving, she's receiving.
That being said, you understood the point as I meant it.
To be accurate, one should look at the context and example.
But generally speaking, both asking and answering are often a form of investment -asking show interest about you when asking, and providing the requested info and expanding effort when replying-.
This way of putting it is new to me about asking question as a form of investment, thanks. It's totally logical.
But while a brief answer is often a form of under-investment, a long one is often over-investment.
We agree on this. That's what I meant by "balance".
Anything can work in the right context and with the right attitude of course, but generally speaking, that type of big-sounding answer ("I make the world work") can easily come off as try hard to me. And the mini story without being prompted can also end up as over-investment.
Definitely, and this made me aware that I used to go in these mini stories.
Thanks a lot for your answer, it helped me get a clearer picture of what I was doing wrong.
There are other things I disagree with in his overall great product, I'll write about them as well.
He s just lazy. Hovered up old PUA stuff from 15 years ago and never improved it.
As I remember this stuff it was to try and romanticise nerd jobs. You have an amazing job
I help sick children.
What could be better to tell a woman.
