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Using shame for social defence, power, & frame control
Hello Lucio,
I noticed that you are using shame in a productive way to defend yourself (post about frenemies, etc.). I would like to know if you would care to expand about using shame as a social tool?
Yeah, I sometimes use light forms of shame for what I consider good causes.
It's a powerful tool, especially if you have power.
You will see its positive use when you'll reach the dating module as well, and even more so in relationships, where you both have more power, and where it's even more important that you set proper boundaries and win-win frames.
If you don't have power yet, it's a bit of a risky power move, but if the receiver accepts it, it can help you acquire power.
This is an example of light shame I'd use:
"keep your faith" is a power move in the sense that meeting her should require faith on my side, which makes her the prize to be chased.
My reply gets serious and frames her as uncooperative.
If she changes tack, my power increases, and the exchange becomes more cooperative, which is better for both.
It's a great example, thank you!
