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What do you do when a person plays the "you're not following the rules" power move at you?
This is probably one of the most tiring things that I receive on my end, a power tripper, he/she is not even a real authority figure, and sometimes authority figures even use this power move with malice on their end. I may make mistakes at times, and even when I'm not really making mistakes, this has been the case a lot of people use on me, trying to police me and I'm in a conundrum.
One scenario that frequently repeats at my choir ministry at Church (Yes, I know). When I come in 5 minutes late, some people would say, "we can't let you in anymore as it is in our rules." When I was finishing up some food "What are you doing eating dictatorce? Please get out first" When I was sitting at really nobody's claimed chair "Me and my husband are sitting here" When I left some unfinished plates at a table "Who owns this? Who owns this? Who owns this?" When I get noisy or loud at times "Shhh, don't be noisy". These things happen a lot. And it's mostly just rehashes of the other situations.
Just writing these things make my skin crawl.
To make it simple, it's always like this:
Power Tripper: You're not following the rules, you're not doing the right thing.
Me: Are you sure that I'm not doing the right thing?
Power Tripper: It says in the rules, it's not allowed for you to do this.
The problem with this move is that if I respond with a joke or to try to change the frame, they won't smile, they won't get into my frame, while it also looks like I'm approval seeking or responding without seriousness so as to escape the tension. On the other hand if I respond with negativity or doubt their "policing" I would always of course be slapped with a strict by the book response. The response I wouldn't want to do is to accept it, or even worse wanting for their sympathy or understanding to be given another chance.
The thing is they are also right in a sense, I do make mistakes and sometimes I do intentionally do them as to joke, albeit my faults are very trivial. The thing is with these people their intentions have malice. I do notice that some of these people are threatened by me and watch my every move, see one "mistake" that I do and try to get me for it. When I do get this to an authority figure they will also manipulate the situation and show them the "it's the rules" move. How do I escape this power move? How do I effectively shut someone down so as not to make them repeat this? How could I do this without looking like an asshole in return?
