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What do you think of NLP? Is it worth it investing time and money?

#1 · February 29, 2020, 1:17 am

Hey Lucio!

I’ve really been enjoying your Social Power course and the various posts you’ve been making and was hoping you could answer a quick question for me.

What is your opinion on NLP?

I noticed you mentioned it in the Social Power course.
Do you have any training in it and do you think it’s worth investing time and money into?

#2 · February 29, 2020, 2:12 am

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on February 29, 2020, 2:12 am
Hey J.,

The idea that you can "program" minds by embedding words and commands, like a computer, is fundamentally wrong.
It's especially ineffective when it matters the most, such as when you want people to do something they might not want to do -human brains are not like computers, that's just poor psychology-.

But some concepts of NLP are good, and have become so popular that they're now being constantly used in either marketing or self-help -think of reframing, or mirroring someone's body language to increase rapport-.

So if you have been going through any self-development material, you're already familiar with concepts from NLP -and you will see many of those techniques in Ultimate Power as well-.
Tony Robbins draws heavily from NLP, for example.

And if you're being daily annoyed by ads, some of them are based on NLP concepts -and not necessarily always effective-.

Original NLP Is A Mixed Bag of Good & BS

Things like matching and mirroring are good.
Things like "telling if a person is lying" are marketing BS.

The orignal teachings from NLP are a mixed bag, and that's why I don't recommend you study NLP in isolation: without prior knowledge, you wouldn't know what's good and what's crap.

I'm Still "Meh" Towards Hypnosis As An Influencing Tool

The therapeutic use of NLP has been largely untested and, when tested, it turned out to be of limited help.

So, because of what I do, I have mostly been interested in the persuasion part of NLP.
Especially, hypnosis.

From a self-development and power perspective, it made me feel that some of these people learning hypnosis from NLP trained to become weasels, and trying to get things underhanded.
The more powerful -and healthier way- is to become a high-value man who people want to follow. Of course, the two things aren't mutually exclusive, and you can include hypnotic elements in your speeches, for example.
But I would make my focus becoming a high quality man.

A high focus on hypnotic patterns puts you in the wrong mindset: that you need to trick people, instead of believing that people might want to follow you.
And it can make you come across as a huge weirdo.

If you research some of the early PUAs, they all got into NLP to use it for seduction. And, like Ross Jeffries, they did come across as huge weirdos.
From a seduction point of view, hypnosis can mostly be used reliably when you're 1:1, with the consent of the "target", and within certain environments conducive to seduction. Basically: you're already in a seductive environment, so trying to hypnotize anyone feels like a huge detour to me. Much more powerful to take her as a man to a woman, and skip the hypnosis.

I still remain open to change my mind on this.
But so far, I simply haven't come across enough evidence or good examples of hypnotic-techniques making a difference for the positive.

Why I don't recommend NLP as a stand-alone

NLP was a school of thought.

Albeit it claimed to use what's been proven to work, it was not based on what's been proven to work.

I personally don't recommend getting too deep into single schools of thoughts because they are based on beliefs and affiliation, not evidence.
It's the same reason why I don't recommend readers here to join communities with sets of rules to follow to stay within those communities (see red pill, MGTOW, various feminist sub-groups). They all claim to describe the world as it is, and to help their members. But they're actually about affiliation and the groups' own self-preservation.

To learn, you are better off with people who take something from all the best sources who have been proven to work as reliably as possible. Or from people who follow a more evidence-based approach.

A good example of this is Tony Robbins himself, a guy who started off in NLP and still teaches a lof of NLP-based techniques. Robbins wanted to grow and expand, use more techniques, and discard the ones from NLP that didn't work so well -plus he wanted to build his personal brand, too, instead of just teaching under the NLP umbrella, of course).
That's a good approach.
But the community, as most tightly-knit groups do, fought for survival of the group instead of what's true, and Tony Robbins was forced to break off from it.

In Summary

The good elements of NLP are now included in better systems which have been more thoroughly tested and experimented.

Going into NLP-only would subject you to the good stuff as well the untested ones -and the tested ones which have been proven wrong, like "telling if a person is lying"-.

So no, I don't recommend you start focusing on NLP.

Hey J.,

The idea that you can "program" minds by embedding words and commands, like a computer, is fundamentally wrong.
It's especially ineffective when it matters the most, such as when you want people to do something they might not want to do -human brains are not like computers, that's just poor psychology-.

But some concepts of NLP are good, and have become so popular that they're now being constantly used in either marketing or self-help -think of reframing, or mirroring someone's body language to increase rapport-.

So if you have been going through any self-development material, you're already familiar with concepts from NLP -and you will see many of those techniques in Ultimate Power as well-.
Tony Robbins draws heavily from NLP, for example.

And if you're being daily annoyed by ads, some of them are based on NLP concepts -and not necessarily always effective-.

Original NLP Is A Mixed Bag of Good & BS

Things like matching and mirroring are good.
Things like "telling if a person is lying" are marketing BS.

The orignal teachings from NLP are a mixed bag, and that's why I don't recommend you study NLP in isolation: without prior knowledge, you wouldn't know what's good and what's crap.

I'm Still "Meh" Towards Hypnosis As An Influencing Tool

The therapeutic use of NLP has been largely untested and, when tested, it turned out to be of limited help.

So, because of what I do, I have mostly been interested in the persuasion part of NLP.
Especially, hypnosis.

From a self-development and power perspective, it made me feel that some of these people learning hypnosis from NLP trained to become weasels, and trying to get things underhanded.
The more powerful -and healthier way- is to become a high-value man who people want to follow. Of course, the two things aren't mutually exclusive, and you can include hypnotic elements in your speeches, for example.
But I would make my focus becoming a high quality man.

A high focus on hypnotic patterns puts you in the wrong mindset: that you need to trick people, instead of believing that people might want to follow you.
And it can make you come across as a huge weirdo.

If you research some of the early PUAs, they all got into NLP to use it for seduction. And, like Ross Jeffries, they did come across as huge weirdos.
From a seduction point of view, hypnosis can mostly be used reliably when you're 1:1, with the consent of the "target", and within certain environments conducive to seduction. Basically: you're already in a seductive environment, so trying to hypnotize anyone feels like a huge detour to me. Much more powerful to take her as a man to a woman, and skip the hypnosis.

I still remain open to change my mind on this.
But so far, I simply haven't come across enough evidence or good examples of hypnotic-techniques making a difference for the positive.

Why I don't recommend NLP as a stand-alone

NLP was a school of thought.

Albeit it claimed to use what's been proven to work, it was not based on what's been proven to work.

I personally don't recommend getting too deep into single schools of thoughts because they are based on beliefs and affiliation, not evidence.
It's the same reason why I don't recommend readers here to join communities with sets of rules to follow to stay within those communities (see red pill, MGTOW, various feminist sub-groups). They all claim to describe the world as it is, and to help their members. But they're actually about affiliation and the groups' own self-preservation.

To learn, you are better off with people who take something from all the best sources who have been proven to work as reliably as possible. Or from people who follow a more evidence-based approach.

A good example of this is Tony Robbins himself, a guy who started off in NLP and still teaches a lof of NLP-based techniques. Robbins wanted to grow and expand, use more techniques, and discard the ones from NLP that didn't work so well -plus he wanted to build his personal brand, too, instead of just teaching under the NLP umbrella, of course).
That's a good approach.
But the community, as most tightly-knit groups do, fought for survival of the group instead of what's true, and Tony Robbins was forced to break off from it.

In Summary

The good elements of NLP are now included in better systems which have been more thoroughly tested and experimented.

Going into NLP-only would subject you to the good stuff as well the untested ones -and the tested ones which have been proven wrong, like "telling if a person is lying"-.

So no, I don't recommend you start focusing on NLP.

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#3 · January 10, 2023, 9:11 am

Interesting real-life case study of overdoing NLP:

Salesman: you will feel like Gabriela, it is like going on a journey (...) imagine (...) sit down (...) it really is a moment for you

Many NLP/hypnotic approaches:

Trying to paint mental imagery
Commands
Relaxing her and
Telling her to feel good

Notice her reaction.

She puts these people at the opposite end of the spectrum and says "it was hard not to laugh".

That is no proof that NLP or hypnosis does not work.
But it definitely shows that it's very easy to overdo it and come across as a weirdo who puts people off.

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#4 · January 11, 2023, 12:58 am

Interesting I ve got a NLP for project managers book on my reading list. I hope its more legit than those personality profiling type of books. The author does work in the biz. Make sure I check it against PU.

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#5 · January 11, 2023, 2:21 am

Quote from Transitioned on January 11, 2023, 12:58 am

Interesting I ve got a NLP for project managers book on my reading list. I hope its more legit than those personality profiling type of books. The author does work in the biz. Make sure I check it against PU.

It may be good, let us know how it was, very curious to hear.

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