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What makes women stay aloof at first and then show interest? (Usually the hottest girl in the room)

#1 · September 23, 2022, 8:58 am

I am in two dance classes. In both classes the hottest girls are very reserved and aloof which I thought meant they weren't interested. And then afterwards they'll ask me a question out of nowhere and then throw me off guard. I won't react properly and they go back to being reserved again.

What is the psychology of the prettiest girls being indifferent and then showing interest out of nowhere?

In both of my classes, (the hottest indifferent girls) came up to me out of nowhere and started conversations with me. It threw me off both times because I just assumed they weren't interested.

One came up to me asking all types of questions
"I havent seen you before, did you add class late?" "What's your major?" "How old are you?" "I'm from X country". She threw me off and I was trying to listen to what my dance instructor was trying to instruct us to do and when she saw where my attention was she said "oh right, sorry!"

Another asked me
"Did you come to class on a skateboard?" "I saw you! )" to which I just smirked or a little smile cause it threw me off. I didn't know how to respond before switching partners.After going through 10+dancing partners, I was in high spirits, and when I cameback I was like "look who it is again! we made a full circle" but this time she was reserved again.

Both of them threw me off. What gives?

Lucio Buffalmano has reacted to this post.

#2 · September 23, 2022, 9:45 am

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on September 23, 2022, 9:45 am
They may have thrown you off, but it seems to me you handled it really well:
Quote from Davinci09 on September 23, 2022, 8:58 am
I was trying to listen to what my dance instructor was trying to instruct us to do and when she saw where my attention was she said "oh right, sorry!"
This is really high power: she tried to talk to you and get your attention, and you denied.
But you denied for a good reason, which makes it particularly good: prioritizing your learning and basic respect to the teacher + upholding social norms of decent behavior of not chatting during learning time.
The only thing you should have done with that was to maintain warmth while shutting her off, such as with a smile and a hand on her and maybe quickly say "sorry, later for that".
And later you could have talked to her first and even said "sorry for earlier" (a covert power move to remind her that you shut her off: often a good idea to maintain power with stuck-up women).
Quote from Davinci09 on September 23, 2022, 8:58 am
to which I just smirked or a little smile cause it threw me off.
That situation was a very good opportunity to star off high power and, for example, tease her she was stalking you or spying on you (high investment from her to you).
But as long as that smirk didn't come across as nervous or too lost, it was a good fallback behavior for being warm enough, but very low investment.
Quote from Davinci09 on September 23, 2022, 8:58 am
What is the psychology of the prettiest girls being indifferent and then showing interest out of nowhere?
It might be many things and, at this point and going from a few lines of text, it would be all speculation.
But generally speaking, the prettiest girls are more likely to go for that "I'm in a class of my own" vibe.
And showing interest may be just that: they may have thought you were cool enough to be (at least) on friendly terms with (and maybe even open for more).
It's crucial that when they talk and are warm to you first, you want to act like you are indeed in their same league and be "normal" and cool.
If you blew off that first encounter -I don't want to call it "chance" as it's quite disempowering-, then a good approach is to back off for a while until you re-accrue enough cool points that you can engage them again as an equal.
If you're all friendly right after, you approach from a lower power position than them, and you're chasing, which is what might have happened when you were all friendly later on.

They may have thrown you off, but it seems to me you handled it really well:

Quote from Davinci09 on September 23, 2022, 8:58 am
I was trying to listen to what my dance instructor was trying to instruct us to do and when she saw where my attention was she said "oh right, sorry!"

This is really high power: she tried to talk to you and get your attention, and you denied.

But you denied for a good reason, which makes it particularly good: prioritizing your learning and basic respect to the teacher + upholding social norms of decent behavior of not chatting during learning time.

The only thing you should have done with that was to maintain warmth while shutting her off, such as with a smile and a hand on her and maybe quickly say "sorry, later for that".

And later you could have talked to her first and even said "sorry for earlier" (a covert power move to remind her that you shut her off: often a good idea to maintain power with stuck-up women).

Quote from Davinci09 on September 23, 2022, 8:58 am
to which I just smirked or a little smile cause it threw me off.

That situation was a very good opportunity to star off high power and, for example, tease her she was stalking you or spying on you (high investment from her to you).

But as long as that smirk didn't come across as nervous or too lost, it was a good fallback behavior for being warm enough, but very low investment.

Quote from Davinci09 on September 23, 2022, 8:58 am
What is the psychology of the prettiest girls being indifferent and then showing interest out of nowhere?

It might be many things and, at this point and going from a few lines of text, it would be all speculation.

But generally speaking, the prettiest girls are more likely to go for that "I'm in a class of my own" vibe.

And showing interest may be just that: they may have thought you were cool enough to be (at least) on friendly terms with (and maybe even open for more).

It's crucial that when they talk and are warm to you first, you want to act like you are indeed in their same league and be "normal" and cool.

If you blew off that first encounter -I don't want to call it "chance" as it's quite disempowering-, then a good approach is to back off for a while until you re-accrue enough cool points that you can engage them again as an equal.
If you're all friendly right after, you approach from a lower power position than them, and you're chasing, which is what might have happened when you were all friendly later on.

Jack, Kavalier and J Les have reacted to this post.

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