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What should I do when the guy I like start pulling away?

#1 · May 10, 2020, 10:11 am

Quote from helena on May 10, 2020, 10:11 am
Hi,
A guy asked me out 3 years ago as we met at my friend's birthday party, I rejected him, as I was serious with someone.
We were friends on Facebook, nothing happend, he just liked my picture every now and then.
A few months ago he wrote me, but died out, I don't think I gave him enough response.
Then 1 momth ago I wrote him. We texted that evening. Then he called me two days after, and we talked one hour on the phone and had a really good chat.
We wrote again the following week, he even texted me 6 am morning before work and then again when he was off from work, I told him we should catch up irl sometime and that it was probably my turn to ask since I declined before. He said he would love to and excited.
He wrote me again the next weekend, I told him I was in bed so we didn't chat.
The following week I told him i was nearby his town because my mom lives close, and so we could meet up, which we did. It was amazing. He picked me up. He dropped hints like he wants to see me again (like he will come here, i should forget something so I will be back), asked me serious question like you would want to know being with someone long term and we see med compatible, tried nothing hanky panky on me, he was respectful, drove me back and texted to make sure i made it home safe and texted me morning.Now next week. I text him first and he takes forever to respond (hours) I tried doing the same for one day and now he is also taking even more time to respond me eventhough I see him online. I am still waiting for his response since last night.
I like him and don't want to just let it go that easily, but I feel if something doesn't happen again soon it is gonna fade out. I am also maybe he talks about me with his friends and find out that all of them, like three of them hit on me before, luckily i haven't been with any of them and rejected them. I don't know if I should show him that I have time enough for him (I have a busy life) and that the distance is not that big of a deal by just telling him (if he replies to the text that is just there hanging now) he should take me out for that cup of Coffee he talked about before. Because when we met up the shops were close, we didn't break any corona rules though but met at his home, and the shops are open again now.
I really don't know what to do?
I am 23, he is 27. We live two hours apart, but my hometown is 30 - 40 min away.

Hi,

A guy asked me out 3 years ago as we met at my friend's birthday party, I rejected him, as I was serious with someone.

We were friends on Facebook, nothing happend, he just liked my picture every now and then.

A few months ago he wrote me, but died out, I don't think I gave him enough response.

Then 1 momth ago I wrote him. We texted that evening. Then he called me two days after, and we talked one hour on the phone and had a really good chat.

We wrote again the following week, he even texted me 6 am morning before work and then again when he was off from work, I told him we should catch up irl sometime and that it was probably my turn to ask since I declined before. He said he would love to and excited.

He wrote me again the next weekend, I told him I was in bed so we didn't chat.

The following week I told him i was nearby his town because my mom lives close, and so we could meet up, which we did. It was amazing. He picked me up. He dropped hints like he wants to see me again (like he will come here, i should forget something so I will be back), asked me serious question like you would want to know being with someone long term and we see med compatible, tried nothing hanky panky on me, he was respectful, drove me back and texted to make sure i made it home safe and texted me morning.Now next week. I text him first and he takes forever to respond (hours) I tried doing the same for one day and now he is also taking even more time to respond me eventhough I see him online. I am still waiting for his response since last night.

I like him and don't want to just let it go that easily, but I feel if something doesn't happen again soon it is gonna fade out. I am also maybe he talks about me with his friends and find out that all of them, like three of them hit on me before, luckily i haven't been with any of them and rejected them. I don't know if I should show him that I have time enough for him (I have a busy life) and that the distance is not that big of a deal by just telling him (if he replies to the text that is just there hanging now) he should take me out for that cup of Coffee he talked about before. Because when we met up the shops were close, we didn't break any corona rules though but met at his home, and the shops are open again now.

I really don't know what to do?

I am 23, he is 27. We live two hours apart, but my hometown is 30 - 40 min away.

#2 · May 10, 2020, 11:36 am

Well he replied (maybe I overreacted a bit lol), :-) but I don't just want to be texting back and forth without purpose.

#3 · May 11, 2020, 4:35 am

Hello Helena.

I agree with you, you two should meet soon or it might fizzle out.

The rule of thumb is that if the guy likes you, a woman being forward can be a big turn on.
If he doesn't, it would push him farther away.

But I don't see any downsides at this point for being more forward.
If you're not, things will likely fizzle out anyway, and if you are, you two will have a chance.

What I would personally do now, is to wait for a while before replying, just to rebalance the relationship a bit more.
Then I would send something that will bait him into a reply. For example, a picture of you trying some strange food, or a glass of wine with a sunset in the background. Maybe saying "so busy these days, I really needed this time to chill :D. How are you doing".

Those two types of texts also give him an easy option to invite you out for food and/or drinks.
If he doesn't propose a date in his reply, I would drop bigger hints or outright tell him he must still take you out (add a smiley face to take some edge off).

If it doesn't go forward from there, then I'd drop it and move on.

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