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When people chase you, they want something from you
Hello guys,
I want to share with you a simple concept which got me thinking.
When people chase you, they want something from you
It's not bad in itself but it sets up a dynamics. A power dynamics. I don't have much to say about it. What I want to highlight is more about a certain awareness on 2 levels:
- Who's currently chasing me? What does this person want from me?
- Who am I currently chasing? What do I want from this person?
By "chasing" I mean the emotional drive to reach out to somebody. You can desire/want something/somebody, but the chasing is an excess of desire/want bordering to the need (see "needy"). This reveals a value and a relationship imbalance between the two parties around this given object of desire.
What do you think about this topic?
Cheers!
Hello guys,
I want to share with you a simple concept which got me thinking.
When people chase you, they want something from you
It's not bad in itself but it sets up a dynamics. A power dynamics. I don't have much to say about it. What I want to highlight is more about a certain awareness on 2 levels:
- Who's currently chasing me? What does this person want from me?
- Who am I currently chasing? What do I want from this person?
By "chasing" I mean the emotional drive to reach out to somebody. You can desire/want something/somebody, but the chasing is an excess of desire/want bordering to the need (see "needy"). This reveals a value and a relationship imbalance between the two parties around this given object of desire.
What do you think about this topic?
Cheers!
Lucio Buffalmano and Matthew Whitewood have reacted to this post.
Lucio BuffalmanoMatthew Whitewood
Yeah, true, I think what's important to differentiate here is:
- Chasing VS normal "reaching out" (the difference you already talk about)
- What happens once you engage with them (does it result in win-win, win-lose, or is it generally value-neutral?)
Both those points help you determine what kind of person you're dealing with, and whether or not you should give them time.
Yeah, true, I think what's important to differentiate here is:
- Chasing VS normal "reaching out" (the difference you already talk about)
- What happens once you engage with them (does it result in win-win, win-lose, or is it generally value-neutral?)
Both those points help you determine what kind of person you're dealing with, and whether or not you should give them time.
John Freeman has reacted to this post.
What happens once you engage with them (does it result in win-win, win-lose, or is it generally value-neutral?)
Key idea. Thanks! Is it in PU? I think it deserves its place as it is the mindset that was missing for lot of people like me who had challenges in their social lives.
What happens once you engage with them (does it result in win-win, win-lose, or is it generally value-neutral?)
Key idea. Thanks! Is it in PU? I think it deserves its place as it is the mindset that was missing for lot of people like me who had challenges in their social lives.
Thank you John, all these "heads up" on what are key concepts/ideas are super useful, since they help me address blind spots I wasn't aware of.
Added it now to the "social exchange" lesson.
Thank you John, all these "heads up" on what are key concepts/ideas are super useful, since they help me address blind spots I wasn't aware of.
Added it now to the "social exchange" lesson.
John Freeman has reacted to this post.
You're welcome. We're a team! :) When one grows, we all grow.
You're welcome. We're a team! :) When one grows, we all grow.
Lucio Buffalmano has reacted to this post.
