Quote from Guest on February 8, 2020, 11:39 pm

Hey Lucio,

Oh boy.

I first saw this news report on CNN: ‘Why didn’t you stay in Mexico?’ Diversity and Inclusion Meeting Turns Volatile at Michigan School.

Immediately I saw power dynamics unfold.

First, most could have predicted going into this meeting that it would be a more liberal environment (against double standards..."I can be in this country, but you can't"). You could probably tell just from the name of the gathering: "Diversity and Inclusion Meeting".

Now, I don't fully believe this parent's comment was intended to come off as socially aggressive. Unfortunately, his point was lost in translation.

1. The first thing I noticed was the whole crowd seemed to turn against him, indicated by a unanimous gasp. Not good from a social power standpoint. He's exposed himself to the vast perception that he is secretly an extremist (even if in reality he is not). I don't think this happened because of what he said, but more the way he said it. (The timing of when he made his comment also didn't help. The Latino parent was in the middle of pouring his heart out about racism his son had endured when the offending parent interrupted him.) He can no longer operate as a "social chameleon" in this environment.
2. Next, I hear a lady say, "You need to leave!" as well as another say, "That is disgusting." They seem to have all taken the judge role and used it as a platform to launch shame attacks in an attempt to isolate and ostracize the parent.
3. The parent then throws up his hands as if to say "What did I say wrong?" I'd like your opinion on if this body language classifies as defending yourself from the judges in the room and is perceived as a sign of submission (useful since he doesn't seem to have any leverage here) or if it is more dominant and comes off as saying, "I don't see what I did wrong. Explain to me why you think you're right."
4. At minute mark 0:47, a man says, "This is a platform for discussion," and the offending parent uses that as an opportunity to try and smooth things over with the audience. However,  he goes about this by saying, "That's right and you know what? I've got respect for you buddy." It almost looks like he's trying to judge and launch a shame attack back on the entire audience by saying, "This isn't a battlefield, it's a platform for expressing our ideas about the topic of diversity. Anyone who turns what should be a peaceful meeting into a fight by bullying isn't worthy of my respect." (That's the power dynamics I'm seeing there, but I could be wrong on that one.)
5. We also see the Latino parent continuously try to hand the offending parent the microphone. I recently read a post on this forum where you said that people don't have to be conscious of power dynamics to use power moves on others. It could be that this Latino parent realized that the offending parent did not know power dynamics (and had relatively poor social skills) and by allowing him to further voice his opinion he would dig a deeper hole for himself. At the same time, the Latino parent may have just wanted to hear his side of the story in an honest attempt to be fair and show no hatred or ill-will towards the offending parent. Should he have taken the microphone and used it as an opportunity to defend himself or gone submissive to avoid social punishment? I ask this because he doesn't take the microphone, but he doesn't back down either.
6. Last, the Latino parent (in a calm manner) compliments the country of America, a socially acceptable (and strategic I might add) way to answer the offending parent's question of why he didn't stay in Mexico. However, the offending parent continues down his path saying that his compliment doesn't make any sense because "he's complaining about being here," which further angers the audience. This reminds me of a Trump vs. Hillary debate where both were asked to give a compliment about each other. Hillary chose to give a back-handed compliment. On Trump's turn, he gave a genuine compliment, making Hillary seem childish for not doing the same. Are these two situations the same or does that analogy not apply here?

Finally, a couple small notes/questions.

There is a man hosting this event. Would he have been more socially powerful for shutting down the negative turn that the meeting took?

What about when the audience tries to impose their frame on the offending parent? Was there a frame flip that offending parent could have used to flip the power dynamics?

Lastly, do you think the offending parent should have just left the meeting as a way of "quitting while he's ahead" or cutting his losses?

 

Thanks,

Ali

P.S. I know I'm really putting you to work on this one, but seeing this while studying power dynamics was so exciting for me, I couldn't resist asking for your input.