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Why I'm Not Considering to Resume Coaching

Every once in a while I receive requests for coaching.

It pains me a bit to turn them down, but I have a good reason to.
Time and my indomitable love for freedom are part of the mix. But there is also a deeper reason.

This is not necessarily a criticism to Brendon Burchard, but he provides the perfect example:

He says:

I didn't know how to make it as a writer, I wanted to do seminars, workshops, I didn't know how to do that (teaching what, then??), so I was pretty much a hot mess.
Ran out of money
(hammm) I got nothing on my name, nothing kind of... Positive prospects. Nobody's calling me, except the guys who wanted the money.
And one night I'm writing, and the apartment was small, and on the bed I had my all my bills, my vision board, all my research (...) my lady comes in, she crawls under the cover of the bed, and I look over, and I see my woman sleeping under my bills.
(...)
And I was like... I gotta figure this out.

And how does he figure his way out of desperation?
By teaching others how to live.

I respect the struggle, I truly do.
People fighting their way through move me.
And I think even in his situation, one can still add value to others.

And yet, don't you also see that at some level, this makes no sense?

This guy is desperate.
And his way out of his own desperation is to teach others how to be successful.
That's the equivalent of poor people teaching others how to make money -which also happens a lot-.
It's a self-help Ponzi scheme.


I have met a few life coaches in my life.
And with a lot of them, you truly look at the guy and think: "gosh, I hope it's not too many people who are listening to this guy on how to live".

And then there are a few good ones. Not necessarily loaded, famous, or flashy.
But you can see why coaching is makes sense for them. They built strong relationships in their lives, and people around look up to them. They have strong values, and live by them. It's the kind of people whom you simply trust.
They are fulfilled, and at peace with themselves. They look somewhat zen, and they are the kind of guys you wanna talk to when tragedy or panic strikes.
They truly reached the best version of themselves.
Those guys can be life coaches.

And I'm just not there (yet).
Sure, I might do it with friends and dates in an informal way. And I might help people with the topics I write about. Power dynamics, social strategies, persuasion, or dating. I could give great advice to people on how to sound more confident and more powerful, or advise women on how to be more feminine and date more effectively.
But as I say in the description on the homepage, I demand more of myself.

As I like to say, your very first strength is knowing your weaknesses.
I still got a long way to go.
Until then, it's not the time for me to coach anyone.

Teja, DM and gbe have reacted to this post.
TejaDMgbe
Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?

Dude I respect your humility. There's a lot of scams in the redpill/self help/personal development/coaching community. Recently I've seen some people give stupid and extremely dangerous advice about the coronavirus (here's an example: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdaIudGpDFI). I hate to say this but the corona virus is a blessing in the sense that it allows you to vet people that you can rely on to act rationally in difficult times.

I've that a look at that video.
That guy says this which doesn't seem to make sense and it's potentially very dangerous advice:

"Get it as quickly as possible, and then produce a strain that other people can get immune to".

And then:

And mark my words, 90% of what I've just said is gonna be true in the next 6 months. It will.
(...)
I wanna be a leader. I really wanna be a leader.
(...)

Sounds like he really craves having a following.
The charismatic style that dispenses certitudes can be quite good at building a following -less so at actually leading well-.
Usually it's not the highest quality followers, though -or at least, not the independent thinkers and the ones high in critical thinking skills-.


On the general topic of self-help, yeah, sometimes people get into coaching for all the wrong reasons.
Getting more power and status is a common one, as is the financial motive.

Some other times it's less Machiavellian, like helping others without even realizing they're are actually trying to help themselves.
Teaching others can increase one's own self-confidence and serve as an emotional prop. That still doesn't guarantee good quality of coaching for the receiver, though.

Luckily, there are a few good ones, though.

Teja and DM have reacted to this post.
TejaDM
Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?