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Wording for compliance
I have been recently looking into how the wording of one's ask contributes to power dynamics and which one is more power protecting.
We will consider an example that a person needs to a task X for you both to make progress together. Now there are many ways to make the final ask. Some of them and my my thoughts on the power dynamics are as follows.
1) Can you do X which will help in such and such a way so that we may move forward. (Seems like a request with power on the other persons side)
2) You will have to do X so that we may move forward. (Either Seems like it doesn't power protect or seems visionary with an option to express his own opinion)
3) I need you to do X so that we may move forward. (Either seems like me asking help or me telling the person to serve me)
4) I will appreciate it if you do X so that we may move forward. (Has a judge role)
What are your thoughts on how to deal with these kinds of situations? And what are your thoughts on the power dynamics?
I think it depends if the person is a superior, an equal or a subordinate. A friend, a colleague or a spouse.
What context are you talking about?
Quote from John Freeman on January 2, 2022, 6:11 pmI think it depends if the person is a superior, an equal or a subordinate. A friend, a colleague or a spouse.
What context are you talking about?
Equal footing (project team member)
Growfast,
For compliance, I suggest more clarity.
And I'm referring to this post, to begin with.
There seem to be a lot of questions there.
Taking from the initial post:
- Wording for compliance in the title, suggest you want to find the most persuasive one
- Thoughts on power dynamics, suggest a request for general, higher-level theory
- How the wording of one's ask contributes to power dynamics, again, suggests a general request for general high-level thoughts, not practical ones
- How to deal with these kinds of questions: it's fuzzy, what does it mean? Are you now asking for an answer in receiving those questions? That's a whole different story
That's too much stuff: pick one thing, stick with it, and align all your post along that main question.
Otherwise, put yourself in the reader's shoes:
What am I supposed to answer?
In the absence of clarity, people often don't answer.
And there seems to be an assumption in the original question:
That "power protecting" is always more persuasive.
But that is not the case.
In the absence of clear direction, then I pick what I want to reply to.
And I like practical scenarios more, so for a colleague, I'd personally go this way:
Hey, I'm working on X to do XYZ. And to proceed with X I need Y which is more your thing. Do you think you can help me move forward with Y?
The reason being that you don't have the authority to task a colleague, so you want to recruit him on your side as a friend and equal.
If he says yes, great, you got a friend -and you'll help him when he needs something-
If not, take it from there (another topic).
