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You never answer "have you slept with anyone since..."

From John's journal:

Quote from John Freeman on July 31, 2023, 10:17 am

Talking about gaslighting, just see this now:

Her: Have you slept with anybody since August?

Him: what does slept mean?

Main quote:

Her: Have you slept with anybody since August?
Him: what does slept mean?

John makes a great analysis that he was playing dumb.

He was indeed, and comes across as weak -unless one does it initially as a joke-.

The higher power AND strategic way of answering such a question is NOT answering.

But you have to do so higher power, not by engaging in low-level manipulations (sneaky and trust-destroying).

You do not reply because you can't do anything good answering:

  • You didn't, and you self-frame as not having had the chance / ability. Negative preselection
  • You did, and you come across as a "easy / whorish", potentially bragging, and if it's a chat to potentially get back together, you destroy intimacy

Same goes for your past.

The most strategic and high-quality way to answer is this:

Look, the past is the past, you're with me now, we're here now, and that's what matters

Generally speaking, you want her to have a feel you have several exes who liked you, but you never want to come across as showing that off -it's cheap-.

Ali Scarlett, John Freeman and 5 other users have reacted to this post.
Ali ScarlettJohn FreemanJackKavalierBRobertoPower Duck
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Elegant, thanks Lucio.

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