Quote from John Freeman on July 31, 2023, 10:17 am
Talking about gaslighting, just see this now:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIrhmndDfXs
Her: Have you slept with anybody since August?
Him: what does slept mean?
Main quote:
Her: Have you slept with anybody since August? Him: what does slept mean?
John makes a great analysis that he was playing dumb.
He was indeed, and comes across as weak -unless one does it initially as a joke-.
The higher power AND strategic way of answering such a question is NOT answering.
But you have to do so higher power, not by engaging in low-level manipulations (sneaky and trust-destroying).
You do not reply because you can't do anything good answering:
You didn't, and you self-frame as not having had the chance / ability. Negative preselection
You did, and you come across as a "easy / whorish", potentially bragging, and if it's a chat to potentially get back together, you destroy intimacy
Same goes for your past.
The most strategic and high-quality way to answer is this:
Look, the past is the past, you're with me now, we're here now, and that's what matters
Generally speaking, you want her to have a feel you have several exes who liked you, but you never want to come across as showing that off -it's cheap-.
From John's journal:
Quote from John Freeman on July 31, 2023, 10:17 am
Talking about gaslighting, just see this now:
Her: Have you slept with anybody since August?
Him: what does slept mean?
Main quote:
Her: Have you slept with anybody since August? Him: what does slept mean?
John makes a great analysis that he was playing dumb.
He was indeed, and comes across as weak -unless one does it initially as a joke-.
The higher power AND strategic way of answering such a question is NOT answering.
But you have to do so higher power, not by engaging in low-level manipulations (sneaky and trust-destroying).
You do not reply because you can't do anything good answering:
You didn't, and you self-frame as not having had the chance / ability. Negative preselection
You did, and you come across as a "easy / whorish", potentially bragging, and if it's a chat to potentially get back together, you destroy intimacy
Same goes for your past.
The most strategic and high-quality way to answer is this:
Look, the past is the past, you're with me now, we're here now, and that's what matters
Generally speaking, you want her to have a feel you have several exes who liked you, but you never want to come across as showing that off -it's cheap-.
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