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Your praise is only as good as your personal value

From a book I'm reviewing now:

In love, everyone seeks an ego boost—and not a small one.

BUT:

To pull this off, though, the lover must be a winner, which explains why the praises of toadies and errand girls never work as their mothers promised. Only the applause of valued people carries any value.

Simple yet deep -and true-.

The value / power of the compliment-giver is the true limit of the effectiveness of your praise.

This also applies to the judge role: your personal value -or how the others assess your personal value- is the limit of your judge power.

And it's also true for leadership, where we called it the "law of the leadership lid".

Transitioned and selffriend have reacted to this post.
Transitionedselffriend
Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?

I agree 100%. I used to follow some (wrong) dating advices to demonstrate my weakness and vulnerability. However, every time I did this, I lost some judge power and leadership power. I hope could read your vulnerability article earlier. By the way, I wonder if I can add a comment to your article, as discussing here is kind of off topic.

Vulnerability Is NOT Power: Don't Believe The Hype | The Power Moves

 

Same things happen when I get reactive and emotional -- low value signs. When I demonstrate low value signs,  I lost some leadership.

 

 

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Seems like this book: Seductress: Women Who Ravished the World and Their Lost Art by Elizabeth Prioleau

Yeah, there is already a topic that goes quite in-depth in the private section of the forum on vulnerability.

In brief, vulnerability is not to be 100% embraced at all times, and not be 100% avoided either, it's a balancing act that requires some social and power intelligence to do right.

Quote from selffriend on April 10, 2021, 8:02 pm

Seems like this book: Seductress: Women Who Ravished the World and Their Lost Art by Elizabeth Prioleau

Yep, that's it.

Did you Google the quote?

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selffriend
Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?
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