Never Eat Alone is a book on networking and achieving success with people and through people. Keith Ferrazzi, the author, teaches readers how to increase the breadth and quality of their social networks.
TPM Audit: Networking Is About Social Capital, Not Collecting Friends
Never Eat Alone gets an important point right: good networks can be very helpful.
But not all relationships are equally valuable or value-adding. The smart approach is
smart giving matched with positive calculativeness.
Takeaways
- Business is about people
- You can’t go far alone
- You should treat networking seriously for what it is: one of the most important tools for success
Notes
About the Author:
Keith Ferrazzi is an Italo-American entrepreneur, speaker, and author.
Ferrazzi says that a lot of problems, even in business, are not business problems but people’s problems. And he made people the focus of his career.
The Mindset of Networking
- You can’t go very far alone <— TPM Note: We don’t fully agree and it can be a disempowering mindset. You can go as far as you want, but some key people may help you go faster
- Seed relationships today to enjoy tomorrow’s fruits
- Ask! You need to ask
- The power of networks grows exponentially
- To get: give <— TPM Note: True, but ensure it’s a two-way street.
Smarts, talent, and resources all matter. But they still won’t do much by themselves without good people around them.
Business is a human enterprise.
When you strip any business, at its core, is always about people dealing with people. People selling to people, people working with people, people hiring people, etc., etc.
Connecting for Options
Why would you want to connect with more people?
Many reasons, Ferrazzi says.
Including:
- Financial safety
- Career options
- Control over one’s life
Ferrazzi says that in a world of shifting employments and shorter stints, connecting replaces the old loyalty and security that big organizations used to provide.
This is an idea I espouse as well to give yourself more power and control over your own life (read: how to deal with a bad boss).
Relationships Are Give and Take
Giving and taking are interlinked, you can’t just do one or you’ll only do half the equation.
A network functions only as long as the different needs are recognized and met, and that’s at the core of the give and take.
Finally, Ferrazzi proposes that you focus on giving first without keeping scores. The more people you help, the more help you will receive.
And he paraphrases Kennedy in saying “don’t ask what people can do for you, but ask what you can do for them” (albeit that was a big political manipulation).
Adding People to Your Goal Setting
Keith Ferrazzi proposes a goal-setting path with a twist: adding people to it.
Devise your goals in the next three years, then break them down by months and smaller goals.
Then connect those goals to people who can help you obtain them.
The last step?
Find what you can give these people and how you will reach them.
Never Eat Alone: Stay Visible
Never eating alone means keeping your networking schedule always full.
One connection might not pan out, but you must have another 6 engagements just like that lined up over the week through breakfast, lunches, or after-work events.
As an up-and-comer you must do the legwork: stay visible, connect, and network.
How to Give Value
To develop a good network, you need to be a valuable person to others.
Here are the three tips:
- Opinions
Ferrazzi says that to be interesting, you need to have some uniqueness.
Talking about events and stuff is not enough, have an opinion on them instead.
- Expertise
Forget about job titles: what’s your expertise? Become a master at something so that you can bring expertise to the table.
- Story
Once you know who you are, what you stand for, and what’s your expertise: build a compelling story around it.
Real-Life Applications
Give, Share & Feed
Share your contacts, make intros, and give to your network.
Keep a full schedule!
Always keep a full schedule of people you meet. From meeting people for breakfast to lunches to after-work events, always be on the go and always exchange contacts.
Keep a file!
Keep a file of the people you meet. I do it, and I write some key info about people I see daily or whom I deem worthy.
Don’t be afraid of approaching big names
Another big takeaway for me is a powerful reminder that people are people. It doesn’t matter what their business card reads, we all want the same thing and we all equally appreciate people who connect with us and care about us.
So do connect with the bigger names in the room.
CONS
Self Referential
Several passages are a bit too much about the author and his accomplishments.
Self Serving
Albeit Ferrazzi tells you to give and not keep score, ultimately that’s not what he’s angling for. Connections for him as for your own utility. Which is normal, but it somewhat came across a bit too egotistical and self-referential at times.
Review
Never Eat Alone makes networking the key to personal success and provides some tips on how to network effectively.
At TPM we agree that people are crucial not only to success, but also to a fulfilled life. However, we also believe that in today’s world ambitious men can achieve success on their own, without having to schedule networking sessions and approaching random people at events.
We don’t fully agree with the use of ‘pinging’. Ambitious and high agency men are busy and don’t particularly enjoy getting ‘pinged’.
If you’re interested in succeeding with people without having to network and chase connections, check out our training program Power University.
