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AR Life through Power Goggles

#31 · June 11, 2023, 10:31 pm

update on my new approach.

It is working well. I have been finding time everyday to go over a one topic at a time.

previously when my approach was to consume a whole lot in one go,

firstly, I would skim through the leasons

secondly, I felt a pressure that made me procrastinate starting the next study session.

these issues have not affected me even once

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#32 · June 12, 2023, 6:23 pm

Quote from Astronomically Revolutionised on June 11, 2023, 6:11 pm
Hi Lucio. I sent the same email to support, and as per their request posting the query here again.
I was wondering whether there were any further updates to the Ultimate Power after 28 April 2020. If there were any, am I still eligible to receive the updates?
For context, I purchased the power bible separate to the PU Course.
Best Regards,

Okay This post on this forum was wrong on my part. Because i was taking and not giving by the virtue of being lazy

Searcing the forum a bit and then comig accross Ali and Lucio's posts i realised that Version 5 is on the works with some massive updates. Really excited for it.

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#33 · June 12, 2023, 9:26 pm

Tutor or Scammer?

I recently contacted this person from youtube to find out what paid courses he offered. I was serious about spending money to learn from him. But the interactions with him quickly changed my mind. At this point, I am convinced he is not the right person to learn from. Now I don't want to do any deal with him and I am just extending the conversation with him to have fun.

Day 1.

His initial response lost him a good chunk of points because everyone else similar who I reached out to, immediately shared their curriculum. So I wonder why he was different. However, His credibility was not all lost yet.

Edit: There are many more images i want to share to show our interaction. But I wonder why the image is not showing. I tried uploading both JPG and PNG. same result for both.

#34 · June 17, 2023, 4:38 pm

Quote from Astronomically Revolutionised on June 17, 2023, 4:38 pm

I went to visit a supplier of machine spare parts for my business. The owner greeted me very warmly and we shared pleasantries. The spare parts I wanted were in a warehouse 2 hours away. so, he sent his subordinate to grab that machine's spare part from the warehouse and fetch it to our location.
Meanwhile, I volunteered to remain at the office because I didn't have a ride to go elsewhere.
I and the owner started a conversation. , I asked him about his vision and he shared many future plans...he was doing all the talking and I was just listening.
I then asked him to share his history and he happily shared how he started from nowhere and lifted himself up to where he is today... it was all good and dandy
My focus was 90% on him and 10% on my phone.
Meanwhile, his brother serve me fruits, which I was reluctant to have, coz i didn't know when they were cut or washed. I politely denied it.
Then they offered my lunch as well, I first denied but they insisted so I had the food. it was good.
The owner kept on telling me his stories. But then, while still talking about his story, he started taking digs at my privileged upbringing.
I let past the first few digs.
Ownr: "I am 40, I am sick and I am still working hard. Even at thirty, you won't be able to work as hard if you were this sick."
since he shared some great stories, I let this go with a smile.
Then he shared more stories but his digs kept increasing.
Owner: X is for people like me, but for people like you, who were born with a golden spoon, Y is applicable
I was starting to get annoyed now, and I started to shift my focus away from him.
He went on to say stuff that implied that my privileged upbringing made me physically weak and incapable.
Then he took a dig at my eating habits, that was it! I had enough.
Me: This is the first time you are meeting me, you've known for an hour, and you are making all these judgments about me just based on me sitting in front of you? This is really unexpected and disappointing.
Owner: You don't eat the food we offered ( in a tone that implied i only eat polished food)
Me: I did eat it, didn't I?
Owner: - I don't have a response to that type smile and laugh -
I then completely shifted my focus to the phone and stayed silent.
He went on to explain why he said what he said with a story about another company's CEO who is a client of his. The story did not make any sense to me. I acknowledged his story with a nod but did not look at him.
I was now completely on my phone. After a few seconds, he got up and left the room. (it didn't affect the reason I was there for.)

My takeaway from this scene was that I now have the ability to speak up when others try to bring damage to me. Even a year ago, if the same thing happened, I would just smile the entire situation out, now saying a word back.

I went to visit a supplier of machine spare parts for my business. The owner greeted me very warmly and we shared pleasantries. The spare parts I wanted were in a warehouse 2 hours away. so, he sent his subordinate to grab that machine's spare part from the warehouse and fetch it to our location.

Meanwhile, I volunteered to remain at the office because I didn't have a ride to go elsewhere.

I and the owner started a conversation. , I asked him about his vision and he shared many future plans...he was doing all the talking and I was just listening.

I then asked him to share his history and he happily shared how he started from nowhere and lifted himself up to where he is today... it was all good and dandy

My focus was 90% on him and 10% on my phone.

Meanwhile, his brother serve me fruits, which I was reluctant to have, coz i didn't know when they were cut or washed. I politely denied it.

Then they offered my lunch as well, I first denied but they insisted so I had the food. it was good.

The owner kept on telling me his stories. But then, while still talking about his story, he started taking digs at my privileged upbringing.

I let past the first few digs.

Ownr: "I am 40, I am sick and I am still working hard. Even at thirty, you won't be able to work as hard if you were this sick."

since he shared some great stories, I let this go with a smile.

Then he shared more stories but his digs kept increasing.

Owner: X is for people like me, but for people like you, who were born with a golden spoon, Y is applicable

I was starting to get annoyed now, and I started to shift my focus away from him.

He went on to say stuff that implied that my privileged upbringing made me physically weak and incapable.

Then he took a dig at my eating habits, that was it! I had enough.

Me: This is the first time you are meeting me, you've known for an hour, and you are making all these judgments about me just based on me sitting in front of you? This is really unexpected and disappointing.
Owner: You don't eat the food we offered ( in a tone that implied i only eat polished food)
Me: I did eat it, didn't I?
Owner: - I don't have a response to that type smile and laugh -

I then completely shifted my focus to the phone and stayed silent.

He went on to explain why he said what he said with a story about another company's CEO who is a client of his. The story did not make any sense to me. I acknowledged his story with a nod but did not look at him.

I was now completely on my phone. After a few seconds, he got up and left the room. (it didn't affect the reason I was there for.)

My takeaway from this scene was that I now have the ability to speak up when others try to bring damage to me. Even a year ago, if the same thing happened, I would just smile the entire situation out, now saying a word back.

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#35 · June 17, 2023, 4:56 pm

Nice one, AR!

I was nodding and smiled when I read your push-back.

HUGE step forward to staying silent.

The first and most important step is always in having the confident to take a stand.
From thereafter, one can start thinking about what type of step is better.

For a more advanced person, it may be better to avoid a total rapport break.
And I may have handled it with a philosopher's frame:

Owner: X is for people like me, but for people like you, who were born with a golden spoon, Y is applicable
Me: Nah man, (<---- disagreeing power move to set the new frame)
I see it differently. It's not about silver spoons or iron spoon. (<---- disagreeing power move to set the new frame)
It's about doing the best with whatever you have in life.
As the Bible says, to whom much is given, much is expected (<---- quote power move, helps you frame as "enlightned")
All we're tasked to do in life is doing the best with what we have.
You've done great and you can be proud of that (<---- judge power move)

Then you may even add "and I wish you to do even better going forward".

To this other one, I may have said:

Ownr: "I am 40, I am sick and I am still working hard. Even at thirty, you won't be able to work as hard if you were this sick."
You: Sorry to hear about that man. You do look good though in spite of it (<---- this is a subtle covert power move that sub-communicates "you're being a bitch and exaggerating")
I don't know what I'd do or not do. But much respect to you for working this hard

If you notice, this one is much lower power and much more giving.

It's because it's still early, and just showing a little bit of power may be all that it takes.
Plus, this may still be a short exchange for which it isn't worth it to go in stronger.

Again, this is nitpicking and showing a more "fly higher approach".

But you did great and can be proud of yourself!

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#36 · June 17, 2023, 10:32 pm

Thank you Lucio!

Your "True high-power" approach is a true masterpiece in communication!

Thank you for the wonderful feedback and advice! I appreciate it very Much!

It will stil take some time till I can develop strong enlightened replies on the fly!

But yeaa i have taken a right step towards climbing the mountain1

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#37 · June 17, 2023, 11:17 pm

Quote from Astronomically Revolutionised on June 17, 2023, 11:17 pm
While Studying the Lesson on Fair Value Marketing, I remembered an experience where I cornered myself by giving naively.
Going back to when my ex-startup partner offered me equity for my business-building skills, He made it clear that I would only need to commit my time and not funds. He had told me to ask his dad for all the fund requirements. I took that offer very casually and didn't really follow up on the "Go to his dad for funds" offer early on.
So when the time for grind came, coincidently his dad got busy and I couldn't get in touch with him. more so, I didn't really try that hard to reach out to him. So I decided to just pay out of my pocket.
Remember these details, I already had/have a job in another business, I never made any commitments for funds and I was only in the start-up for my business-building skills. These were his initial offered terms which I immediately accepted. I didn't actually make a big deal of solidifying the terms of the offer then, which I later realized, was a big mistake on my part.
Anyway, a Few months went by, and I kept on spending out of pocket as the work progressed. Even though it wasn't my responsibility to, I paid because the dad was busy with some serious stuff, and I did not want the progress to stop. Some expenses were a bit higher than the going market rate because my tech partner did not listen to my business advice and instead went on doing things the way he thought were right (like hiring programmers at almost 2x more salary than the going rates for the same). But I still paid, because the dad was genuinely occupied with some personal problems, and I didn't want the progress to slow down. I also never made it seem like it was a big deal (Perhaps the wrong application of the law "Make it seem effortless").
In my mind, I was always thinking that the onus of paying would be soon taken away from me, and I would get compensated for the amounts I was paying as a favor.
Around the 6 month mark, I was feeling the burden, and finally made an effort to reach out to my partner's dad for financial help.
He outright rejected to give me anything or compensate me anything, By saying it was my responsibility
When I reached out to my partner, he completely backtracked on his old words. and framed his reply as "He thought it was my responsibility to take care of all that"
What I did as a favor, so that things don't slow down, automatically became labeled as my responsibility.
Lessons Learnt:
Highlight the value of your efforts and make sure it is known.
Learn to draw boundaries (I was actually afraid to speak up when he offered an excessive salary against my advice, I then lost all the power here!)
Don't Move through Life with bullshit assumptions
Always safeguard your interest first, don't be naive to think that it will automatically be taken care of.
But if I could go back in time, I still would not know how to implement Lesson learned no.1. In a subtle but effective way. I obviously couldn't keep on reminding month after month that i was paying the programmers salary, i would just become annoying.

While Studying the Lesson on Fair Value Marketing, I remembered an experience where I cornered myself by giving naively.

Going back to when my ex-startup partner offered me equity for my business-building skills, He made it clear that I would only need to commit my time and not funds. He had told me to ask his dad for all the fund requirements. I took that offer very casually and didn't really follow up on the "Go to his dad for funds" offer early on.

So when the time for grind came, coincidently his dad got busy and I couldn't get in touch with him. more so, I didn't really try that hard to reach out to him. So I decided to just pay out of my pocket.

Remember these details, I already had/have a job in another business, I never made any commitments for funds and I was only in the start-up for my business-building skills. These were his initial offered terms which I immediately accepted. I didn't actually make a big deal of solidifying the terms of the offer then, which I later realized, was a big mistake on my part.

Anyway, a Few months went by, and I kept on spending out of pocket as the work progressed. Even though it wasn't my responsibility to, I paid because the dad was busy with some serious stuff, and I did not want the progress to stop. Some expenses were a bit higher than the going market rate because my tech partner did not listen to my business advice and instead went on doing things the way he thought were right (like hiring programmers at almost 2x more salary than the going rates for the same). But I still paid, because the dad was genuinely occupied with some personal problems, and I didn't want the progress to slow down. I also never made it seem like it was a big deal (Perhaps the wrong application of the law "Make it seem effortless").

In my mind, I was always thinking that the onus of paying would be soon taken away from me, and I would get compensated for the amounts I was paying as a favor.

Around the 6 month mark, I was feeling the burden, and finally made an effort to reach out to my partner's dad for financial help.

He outright rejected to give me anything or compensate me anything, By saying it was my responsibility

When I reached out to my partner, he completely backtracked on his old words. and framed his reply as "He thought it was my responsibility to take care of all that"

What I did as a favor, so that things don't slow down, automatically became labeled as my responsibility.

Lessons Learnt:

Highlight the value of your efforts and make sure it is known.
Learn to draw boundaries (I was actually afraid to speak up when he offered an excessive salary against my advice, I then lost all the power here!)
Don't Move through Life with bullshit assumptions
Always safeguard your interest first, don't be naive to think that it will automatically be taken care of.

But if I could go back in time, I still would not know how to implement Lesson learned no.1. In a subtle but effective way. I obviously couldn't keep on reminding month after month that i was paying the programmers salary, i would just become annoying.

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#38 · June 18, 2023, 11:46 am

Quote from Astronomically Revolutionised on June 18, 2023, 11:46 am
Reflecting further on my last post,
If I implemented Lessons
2. Learn to draw boundaries (I was actually afraid to speak up when he offered an excessive salary against my advice, I then lost all the power here!)
3. Don't Move through Life with bullshit assumptions
4. Always safeguard your interest first, don't be naïve to think that it will automatically be taken care of.
Then, need for implementing Lesson 1.
Highlight the value of your efforts and make sure it is known.
would not arise.
Let's dig in deep into the scenario in order of the events and where i think i could have done better. (I am feeling really uncomfortable inside as I am writing this, but I am pushing myself anyway)
Event 1: My first mistake was Not Drawing Boundaries to protect my self interest.
I fixed the interview with the programmer, and before the interview I had discussed with Bob that the average rate for this post is 25 K, and that we should offer this new guy (Ray) 30k to 35k which was a really good pay for a fresh programmer with little experience.
When the interview started, Bob took the technical interview of Ray, and really liked Ray. Contrary to our discussion beforehand, Bob Offered Ray 50k straight off the bat! I was shocked at the offer. Ray immediately accepted the offer. (in the same interview Ray later revealed that he was currently earning 25 K)
After the interview, I weakly pushed back Bob about the high salary offer, but his reply was stronger and since he replied with his understanding of tech knowledge required to get the job done, his frame was stronger and I didn't have the emotional strength to fight back. But this isn't where I lost.
I lost here:
when the time for grind came, coincidently his dad got busy and I couldn't get in touch with him. more so, I didn't really try that hard to reach out to him. So I decided to just pay out of my pocket.
(Note: I have strong relationships with all the parties involved here)
barring the dad busy part, instead of happily just paying the high salary with the naïve assumption that I would get the amounts compensated,
I should have directly spoken to Bob.
Me:" Hey bob, I am not being able to reach your dad, Rays salary is much higher than what i was prepared for. I don't have that much cash to spend every month out of pocket. I'll take care of it this month. But lets fix the permanent arrangement soon"
And then, even if nothing different could be done, I could still pay the salary and Bob would have been aware that I am paying even through difficulty.
In this way I could have
Not operate through Naïve assumptions
Set a boundary to protect my self interest
Highlight the value i was giving

Reflecting further on my last post,

If I implemented Lessons

2. Learn to draw boundaries (I was actually afraid to speak up when he offered an excessive salary against my advice, I then lost all the power here!)

3. Don't Move through Life with bullshit assumptions

4. Always safeguard your interest first, don't be naïve to think that it will automatically be taken care of.

Then, need for implementing Lesson 1.

Highlight the value of your efforts and make sure it is known.

would not arise.

Let's dig in deep into the scenario in order of the events and where i think i could have done better. (I am feeling really uncomfortable inside as I am writing this, but I am pushing myself anyway)

Event 1: My first mistake was Not Drawing Boundaries to protect my self interest.

I fixed the interview with the programmer, and before the interview I had discussed with Bob that the average rate for this post is 25 K, and that we should offer this new guy (Ray) 30k to 35k which was a really good pay for a fresh programmer with little experience.

When the interview started, Bob took the technical interview of Ray, and really liked Ray. Contrary to our discussion beforehand, Bob Offered Ray 50k straight off the bat! I was shocked at the offer. Ray immediately accepted the offer. (in the same interview Ray later revealed that he was currently earning 25 K)

After the interview, I weakly pushed back Bob about the high salary offer, but his reply was stronger and since he replied with his understanding of tech knowledge required to get the job done, his frame was stronger and I didn't have the emotional strength to fight back. But this isn't where I lost.

I lost here:

when the time for grind came, coincidently his dad got busy and I couldn't get in touch with him. more so, I didn't really try that hard to reach out to him. So I decided to just pay out of my pocket.

(Note: I have strong relationships with all the parties involved here)

barring the dad busy part, instead of happily just paying the high salary with the naïve assumption that I would get the amounts compensated,

I should have directly spoken to Bob.

Me:" Hey bob, I am not being able to reach your dad, Rays salary is much higher than what i was prepared for. I don't have that much cash to spend every month out of pocket. I'll take care of it this month. But lets fix the permanent arrangement soon"

And then, even if nothing different could be done, I could still pay the salary and Bob would have been aware that I am paying even through difficulty.

In this way I could have

Not operate through Naïve assumptions
Set a boundary to protect my self interest
Highlight the value i was giving

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#39 · June 18, 2023, 3:56 pm

It's good that I can speak up now!

This has created a new issue: I get confrontational and aggressive as my default pushback mode.

I am sure as I complete the course, that issue will get solved.

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#40 · June 19, 2023, 1:27 pm

Quote from Astronomically Revolutionised on June 19, 2023, 1:27 pm
4. Give intermittently, avoid your giving becoming the norm (habituation rule)
Give often, and people love you. Give always, and people take you for stupid
All my life I was a kind person, who really wanted to help everyone. I have been blessed in life with resources, and I always try to help people in need. However, more recently that habit has reduced drastically.
When I was a teen, I had a female friend (Judy) ( we were just normal friends with no love interest what so ever).
When I was admitted in the hospital, she was the first friend to come and visit me. She even got me many gifts. Since the visit, I started considering her as a very good friend.
We both were into arts and practiced our art form. Sometimes I would go over to her place and sometimes she would come over and we would practice together.
One Day she called me, and asked me if she could use my car and chauffeur to visit her boyfriend( Who I later found out, lived right next door)
Since my car and chauffeur both were free, I agreed to send her help.
this request came again, I agreed.
came again multiple times.
Ever since that last jam, we never jammed again. but her request calls didn't stop.
Now, her calls were as short as "Car favor"....hang up
Considering her to be a good friend, I never really thought otherwise and agreed to help her.
This went on for a good 2 years, and since It really didn't damage my own interests in my young perception. (I didn't have to keep track of my fuel costs or chauffeurs salary back then, it was always taken care of).
Judy's request never really felt like a burden to me back then, and I helped her out of kindness. (Although now, even without power awareness, I would not be doing the same favor to anyone for such silly reasons as meeting their friend)
Fast forward 2 years,
One Fine day, my then Girl friend called me and warned me that Judywent around laughing behind my back and telling people I don't have a spine to say no.
so, when a few days later Judy called again,
I said "No I cant"
she just hung up without saying another word.
and I never heard from her again.

4. Give intermittently, avoid your giving becoming the norm (habituation rule)

Give often, and people love you. Give always, and people take you for stupid

All my life I was a kind person, who really wanted to help everyone. I have been blessed in life with resources, and I always try to help people in need. However, more recently that habit has reduced drastically.

When I was a teen, I had a female friend (Judy) ( we were just normal friends with no love interest what so ever).

When I was admitted in the hospital, she was the first friend to come and visit me. She even got me many gifts. Since the visit, I started considering her as a very good friend.

We both were into arts and practiced our art form. Sometimes I would go over to her place and sometimes she would come over and we would practice together.

One Day she called me, and asked me if she could use my car and chauffeur to visit her boyfriend( Who I later found out, lived right next door)

Since my car and chauffeur both were free, I agreed to send her help.

this request came again, I agreed.

came again multiple times.

Ever since that last jam, we never jammed again. but her request calls didn't stop.

Now, her calls were as short as "Car favor"....hang up

Considering her to be a good friend, I never really thought otherwise and agreed to help her.

This went on for a good 2 years, and since It really didn't damage my own interests in my young perception. (I didn't have to keep track of my fuel costs or chauffeurs salary back then, it was always taken care of).

Judy's request never really felt like a burden to me back then, and I helped her out of kindness. (Although now, even without power awareness, I would not be doing the same favor to anyone for such silly reasons as meeting their friend)

Fast forward 2 years,

One Fine day, my then Girl friend called me and warned me that Judywent around laughing behind my back and telling people I don't have a spine to say no.

so, when a few days later Judy called again,

I said "No I cant"

she just hung up without saying another word.

and I never heard from her again.

Lucio Buffalmano, Ali Scarlett and 2 other users have reacted to this post.