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Being too dominant makes people dislike you
It makes sense, thanks a lot. I’ll think about it. It might be true. I edited my answer above if you want to have a look.
Yes as soon as it is possible to refuse abuse we should do so.
It makes sense, thanks a lot. I’ll think about it. It might be true. I edited my answer above if you want to have a look.
Yes as soon as it is possible to refuse abuse we should do so.
B has reacted to this post.
Quote from
B on April 21, 2022, 9:09 pm
It’s a pleasure John.
I just wish to add, since this thought came up in reading your posts even though it may not apply, that in many of these situations, understaffing is only the apparent cause of overworking the staff.
The real reason, in most cases, is the boss deliberately overworking people with ridiculous or sudden demands to increase their stress level, increase their susceptibility to his other manipulations and make them less of a “threat” to him.
My former boss once said to me that my only defect was my “unwillingness to work 18 hours a day”.
It’s a pleasure John.
I just wish to add, since this thought came up in reading your posts even though it may not apply, that in many of these situations, understaffing is only the apparent cause of overworking the staff.
The real reason, in most cases, is the boss deliberately overworking people with ridiculous or sudden demands to increase their stress level, increase their susceptibility to his other manipulations and make them less of a “threat” to him.
My former boss once said to me that my only defect was my “unwillingness to work 18 hours a day”.
John Freeman has reacted to this post.
Teamwork!
I think it's a mix of many things:
- The hospital is trying to saving cost
- Culture of "you should be able to sustain hard work" in medicine.
- Divide to reign
- People who make it in this environment are or become malignant
- Very hierarchical culture
- The hospital leaders look good towards the politicians who put them there if they save costs. In Switzerland, hospitals are public and the head is appointed by the head of the state health department.
My boss is only the boss of the *cardiology service (it's another specialty, privacy-saving reason). There are many people like him above and in other departments. See the article from the media, the hospital director is interviewed. Also the admin don't care about doctors and nurses, just numbers.
That being said, yes if people are tired they won't fight back. You can chew them and take the next one when they cannot sustain this pace anymore.
Teamwork!
I think it's a mix of many things:
- The hospital is trying to saving cost
- Culture of "you should be able to sustain hard work" in medicine.
- Divide to reign
- People who make it in this environment are or become malignant
- Very hierarchical culture
- The hospital leaders look good towards the politicians who put them there if they save costs. In Switzerland, hospitals are public and the head is appointed by the head of the state health department.
My boss is only the boss of the *cardiology service (it's another specialty, privacy-saving reason). There are many people like him above and in other departments. See the article from the media, the hospital director is interviewed. Also the admin don't care about doctors and nurses, just numbers.
That being said, yes if people are tired they won't fight back. You can chew them and take the next one when they cannot sustain this pace anymore.
B has reacted to this post.
Quote from
Growfast on April 21, 2022, 11:12 am
I wonder if this is due to the whole Redpill movement
But how much influence does this red pill movement have? From my neck of the woods, they have close to zero prestige.
Quote from
Growfast on April 21, 2022, 11:12 am
I wonder if this is due to the whole Redpill movement
But how much influence does this red pill movement have? From my neck of the woods, they have close to zero prestige.
I could have posted this in « becoming higher power » thread.
Becoming higher power also involves becoming more dominant.
That includes “coming out on top”. Being more assertive and countering other people’s power moves accomplishes that. I’ve not found the limit yet (nobody complained yet).
So it’s not about coming always on top. It’s about coming on top when being challenged. There is a lot of room for collaboration and equal relationships.
That also means compensate the domination by following (allowing people to be in the dominant position) and by empowering people (being grateful, complimenting them, letting ourselves be influenced, etc.). There’s a balance there of course.
However becoming more dominant is part of becoming higher power.
I could have posted this in « becoming higher power » thread.
Becoming higher power also involves becoming more dominant.
That includes “coming out on top”. Being more assertive and countering other people’s power moves accomplishes that. I’ve not found the limit yet (nobody complained yet).
So it’s not about coming always on top. It’s about coming on top when being challenged. There is a lot of room for collaboration and equal relationships.
That also means compensate the domination by following (allowing people to be in the dominant position) and by empowering people (being grateful, complimenting them, letting ourselves be influenced, etc.). There’s a balance there of course.
However becoming more dominant is part of becoming higher power.
Lucio Buffalmano has reacted to this post.
Yep, absolutely.
When it comes to (social) dominance the name of the game are balance and calibration (and, often, re-empowering when used).
But it's a fundamental tool, and a reservoir that one must be able to draw from.
Even if only for self-defense, it's still crucial.
Many self-defense approaches against disempowerment must be grounded in (at least some) dominance (starting from the mindsets).
Yep, absolutely.
When it comes to (social) dominance the name of the game are balance and calibration (and, often, re-empowering when used).
But it's a fundamental tool, and a reservoir that one must be able to draw from.
Even if only for self-defense, it's still crucial.
Many self-defense approaches against disempowerment must be grounded in (at least some) dominance (starting from the mindsets).
John Freeman has reacted to this post.
Yes, about what you said I’m thinking that these three tools:
- Calibration: comes from experience in a given/culture context.
- Power-protection
- Re-empowering
are advanced social tools that allow for the nuances and balance the power dynamics when it’s too blunt/unbalanced.
I’m mostly paraphrasing here.
This is what I noticed in good speakers/leaders: they use the subtleties of language to express the subtleties of the power dynamics/warmth/distance of the relationship.
Yes, about what you said I’m thinking that these three tools:
- Calibration: comes from experience in a given/culture context.
- Power-protection
- Re-empowering
are advanced social tools that allow for the nuances and balance the power dynamics when it’s too blunt/unbalanced.
I’m mostly paraphrasing here.
This is what I noticed in good speakers/leaders: they use the subtleties of language to express the subtleties of the power dynamics/warmth/distance of the relationship.
