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Ben re-empower himsels with assertive frame-imposing VS value-taking passive-aggression
This reminds me of Elon Musk laughing at an interview in this thread.
The short summary here:
Interviewer: Although there's competitors now ramping up, as you are familiar with BYD which is also on the West Coast. I think they are ramping up production of their electric vehicles. Warren Buffet owns 10% stake in that.
Elon Musk: (laughs condescendingly)
Interviewer: Why do you laugh?
BYD is trying to compete.
Why do you laugh?Elon Musk: Have you seen their cars? (in haughty tone)
Interviewer: I have seen their cars. Yes.
In fact, in the Berkshire Hathaway meeting, I saw their cars.Elon Musk: Yeah
Interviewer: Tell me why you're laughing.
Elon Musk: Erm
Interviewer: You don't seem them as a competitor?
Elon Musk: No
Interviewer: Why is that? They offer a lower price point.
Elon Musk: I don't think they have a great product.
I think the interviewer was too friendly here.
She shouldn't have smiled.
Smiling acknowledges Elon Musk's frame.
However, I thought she said "Why do you laugh?" in a good, strong tone.
She eventually manages to move on and get Elon Musk to share on a serious note why he thinks BYD cannot compete with him.
Is this the shock and awe tone that you had in mind?
I believe she could have said
Interviewer: On a serious note, what do you think about BYD?
Handling LOL on Text
I'm not really sure how to handle LOL on texts.
Maybe "seriously"?
For example,
Me: I like Russian food. Great place down the road.
Person: LOL
Me: Seriously
If the person invests more, then one can impose with more words:
Me: I like Russian food. Great place down the road.
Person: LOL we can do that
Me: Seriously, it's fantastic. Thursday good for you?
Good parallel on the condescending laughter, Matthew.
On "LOL" on text, it's challenging.
But since over text the social ROI dynamics are 10Xed, then any effort to surface it can as easily disempower you for the simple fact that you're expending so much effort on it.
So to advise on strategies to deal with it, I'd like to see a real-life example.
Without it, I'd generally recommend to ignore and expend less effort.
I ignored this "LOL" when scheduling a video conferencing session:
Him: Great, you want me to send over the invite or you want to send over one?
Me: You can the invite if Zoom is preferred.
I like Zoom as well.Him: Lol
Him: I will send over the invite, looking forwared to tell you more.
Me: Looking forward too
Basically, he wants to show me something over Zoom, and I know his preferred channel is Zoom.
He has the subscription.
So I told him that he can send the invite, and I liked Zoom.
Then he laughed at me which I felt was out of place.
I decided to ignore it because of what you alluded to.
Addressing it would look like I'm expanding lots of effort on it.
