Common Judge power moves 'Thank You' , 'That's fine', 'Perfect' and 'Correct'
I know this is old ground but I couldn't find it on the search. Here's one I had yesterday.
Group meeting - somebody (my level) requested a doc of the organiser (boss). I linked it in the chat. Good small value - save the boss a job and help the group.
Some lady (my level) chatted 'Thank you, Transitioned - very helpful' - 2 judge moves and 1 boss move as when you say the person's name that makes it more formal as in 'I'm keeping a distance because I'm the boss'
I didn't do anything as I have a rule of not counter moving on the initial meeting for small stuff. But this Lady had already looked like she was chewing bees when anybody else spoke in the meeting so 2 red flags against her.
I was thinking in future of using 'one team' or 'teamwork is dreamwork' against this move in future. My thinking is that this indirectly says we're all in the team - i.e all at the same level.
I was also thinking of 'we all help the team' but this seems too obvious and fails the rule of 'least effort'
I know in another thread John had suggested 'And thanking you' as another reply. Because its about addressing the power move what you say doesn't actually have to make sense just that you 'see' their move and are not an easy target. Lucio had some great counters to 'perfect', 'correct', and 'fine' which I think are the same type of judge move - I'll link his replies here if this post grows legs.
What do people think?
I'd look at how the boss/most important person for you in that chat is.
If he's the type of guy who sees these games and doesn't appreciate, then you can safely ignore -and she's only harming herself because as much as it's annoying for you, it's annoying for him and for anyone else who sees those games-.
Many though either don't see the small-time malice behind it, or may even mistake that for honest support for the team, or honest support for them/their goal.
In that case, I'd wait and see if the person you sent the file too replies, and then:
Colleague: does anyone have the doc from organiser
You: (links doc)
Her: Thank you, Transitioned - very helpful
Colleague: thank you Transitioned
You: (quotes message from colleague) my pleasure mate (we're a team)
This is a subtle "ostracizing power move".
She made her power move, she was ignored, and you closed a win-win loop with your colleague while leaving her out of it.
P.S.:
Moved this to the work section.
If it's a situation about work, open it directly in the work section, even if it's about power moves/power dynamics (most social exchanges are, anyway).
Yes sorry I should have posted in work.
Hard to know managers attitude because first time meeting.
I didn't quite get the suggestion above.
The exact situation was a meeting with a manager presenting and 10 analysts.
Somebody at the meeting asked the manager/meeting Lisa organiser for a glossary doc for the group.
Which I linked
Then another attendee did the thank you power move.
I could have power moved myself and said "here you go team" but generally not my style.
I could also have said "saves Lisa a job" but that's some pretty unsubtle brown nosing.
Hmm so this was a hybrid in-person and chat?
So the power mover said "thank you Transitioned in person, in voice"?
Still, you can wait for the person you did the favor to to reply, and then only answer them:
Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on January 12, 2023, 2:23 amI'd wait and see if the person you sent the file to* replies, and then:
Colleague 1: does anyone have the doc from organiser
You: (links doc)
Power Mover: Thank you, Transitioned - very helpful
(wait, saying nothing, wait for the colleague you sent the file to reply)
Colleague 1: thank you Transitioned
You: (quotes message from colleague) my pleasure Colleague 1 (we're a team)
Sorry my mistake was not identifying what was said vs chatted. It was online some lines spoken, some in the zoom meeting chat.
Prakash (Analyst) says: Lisa I m wondering if there is a document with these acronyms we could read.
Lisa (manager) says: yes great idea I will find one
Me: posts link on chat
Priya (Analyst) chats: Thank you, Transitioned - very helpful
I guess what I could do is from Lucio's idea is after Priya chat "great idea Prakash - happy reading guys"
What do think guys. Does that last line apply Lucio s Technique without looking too obvious?
Because it's an initial meeting with an important manager needs to be subtle.
Yeah, it's similar.
If Prakash answered first himself, that would make it a lot more natural and easier.
Another option I'd take at that point is this:
Priya (Analyst) chats: Thank you, Transitioned - very helpful
You: (I went through it) so if you guys have any questions on that, feel free to ask
Something like that.
The goal is to:
- Prevent Priya having the last word (a form of thread-minimizing her power move: you grab the last line limelight and push her power move away)
- Ignore her and her power move, which disempowers both
- Re-self-frame yourself as helpful
- Self-frame yourself as a high-value, skilled player
The "I went through it" is power-protecting since you provide a reason about why you're the expert.
But if you know more than the others, you can skip that and righteously remind everyone who's the most authoritative voice in there.
Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on January 16, 2023, 3:31 pmAnother option I'd take at that point is this:
Priya (Analyst) chats: Thank you, Transitioned - very helpful
You: (I went through it) so if you guys have any questions on that, feel free to askSomething like that.
The goal is to:
- Prevent Priya having the last word (a form of thread-minimizing her power move: you grab the last line limelight and push her power move away)
- Ignore her and her power move, which disempowers both
- Re-self-frame yourself as helpful
- Self-frame yourself as a high-value, skilled player
Would this solution also work to prevent Priya to have the last word?
Priya (Analyst) chats: Thank you, Transitioned - very helpful
You: Thank you, Priya, for the note. (Optional) By the way…
The idea would be to:
- reframe her “thank you” as sincere, warranting a “thank back”
- but play the same game back (so she can’t say anything)
- and as Lucio says, have the last word by “thanking back”.
You have to think it this way:
How would a superior VS a same-level colleague VS a subordinate act?
The "thank you" isn't too bad because it's not the most typical subordinate type of behavior.
Many (smart) subordinates don't say thanks to their bosses for a compliment because acting for their bosses is normal.
However, it's also not too uncommon.
On the negative side, it expands on the power move because the "thank you" points right back at the original power move ("thank you for what"? Oh yeah, because Prya gave him a manager-type pat on the back).
And it also encourages more of that "I'm your leader" behavior.
Later on, promotion time comes, and Priya the power mover has been acting like a leader, and you kind of going along with it.
One may not even like Priya too much, but it's tough to justify the promotion of someone else when the dynamic is that one is already acting like a leader and the rest are at least going along with it -and the promotion a subordinate-acting one would look bad on anyone who makes that decision, so don't hope that "being liked" on its own will get you there-.