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Condescending praise in group situations

#1 · October 14, 2022, 12:51 am

I have encountered this situation in groups where one guy tries to praise the other guy like the other guy is his employee.

This is something I have seen some guys use to tool other guys and make the girls present lose attraction to the other guys.

So basically some lines used when entering a group.

"How did you get two girlfriends here, I can't even get one"

(This is said in a trolling tone and it is basically used so that the girls frame themselves as a friend to the guy)

"Look at him he has so much muscles, Now I know why you girls are so attracted to him"

(This is done so the girls say they don't care about muscles and hence instantly destroy the value the guy is providing).

The one way I know to respond to these guys is to condescendingly flatter him right back.

What are your thoughts?

#2 · October 14, 2022, 3:33 pm

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on October 14, 2022, 3:33 pm
This one is annoying but not too threatening:
Quote from Growfast on October 14, 2022, 12:51 am
Him: "Look at him he has so much muscles, Now I know why you girls are so attracted to him"
Girls: no, I don't like big muscles
Its "power" is that it leverages virtue signaling so that people deny being attracted.
So a good way is to avoid triggering that virtue-signaling knee-jer reaction of "nono, I couldn't care less about muscles" or even worse "no, I'm not attracted to him":
Flatter him back problem: turkey spiral, following his lead, staying in the disempowering frame
It can work to play the same game back on him.
And it's probably a lot better than just laughing along, or letting him staying in the lead unchallenged as he disempowers you.
BUT... To make it work really well, you need to score a major win because you're following his lead and descending into trading power moves, which is a form of "turkey spiral".
I personally wouldn't even go there and even if you can't think of anything, ignoring, shrugging off or showing disapproval are probably better than following a turkye's lead into trading power moves -just a poor show for both-.
There are a ton of ways of going about it, and many of PU's techniques apply.
Just one possibility:
Lead from "power move -> virtue signaling denial" under his lead, to "power move -> factual conversation" under your lead
The main issues here are:
He is leading
He set the angle (in this case, ridiculing gym work and its results)
So the solutions are, to take the lead, and/or to set a new frame.
For example, the new angle you can set around muscles is "serious convo":
Him: "Look at him he has so much muscles, Now I know why you girls are so attracted to him"
Girls: no, I don't like big muscles
You: actually, muscles are very interesting both from a dating and social dynamics point of view (look at the girls and to him, but more to him. Your objective here is to start leading and explaining, but also to start a more fact-based exchange). Some women like them, some not so much (give them an out, so they don't jump in and defend)
At this point, you can either talk about the law of optimum sexual balance, or about generals tendencies and exceptions, or you can add a zinger to the social climber:
You: the funniest thing though is that muscles have a bigger effect on men than on women. For example, some men tend to feel threatened by other men with bigger muscles
Let it hang there, the point should be clear to all.
Few people will have the skills to turn that around. And if he defends, he's done. At that point, the win is so clear that may even throw him a (false) life preserver and add "of course, not you man".

This one is annoying but not too threatening:

Quote from Growfast on October 14, 2022, 12:51 am
Him: "Look at him he has so much muscles, Now I know why you girls are so attracted to him"
Girls: no, I don't like big muscles

Its "power" is that it leverages virtue signaling so that people deny being attracted.

So a good way is to avoid triggering that virtue-signaling knee-jer reaction of "nono, I couldn't care less about muscles" or even worse "no, I'm not attracted to him":

Flatter him back problem: turkey spiral, following his lead, staying in the disempowering frame

It can work to play the same game back on him.

And it's probably a lot better than just laughing along, or letting him staying in the lead unchallenged as he disempowers you.

BUT... To make it work really well, you need to score a major win because you're following his lead and descending into trading power moves, which is a form of "turkey spiral".

I personally wouldn't even go there and even if you can't think of anything, ignoring, shrugging off or showing disapproval are probably better than following a turkye's lead into trading power moves -just a poor show for both-.

There are a ton of ways of going about it, and many of PU's techniques apply.

Just one possibility:

Lead from "power move -> virtue signaling denial" under his lead, to "power move -> factual conversation" under your lead

The main issues here are:

He is leading
He set the angle (in this case, ridiculing gym work and its results)

So the solutions are, to take the lead, and/or to set a new frame.

For example, the new angle you can set around muscles is "serious convo":

Him: "Look at him he has so much muscles, Now I know why you girls are so attracted to him"
Girls: no, I don't like big muscles
You: actually, muscles are very interesting both from a dating and social dynamics point of view (look at the girls and to him, but more to him. Your objective here is to start leading and explaining, but also to start a more fact-based exchange). Some women like them, some not so much (give them an out, so they don't jump in and defend)

At this point, you can either talk about the law of optimum sexual balance, or about generals tendencies and exceptions, or you can add a zinger to the social climber:

You: the funniest thing though is that muscles have a bigger effect on men than on women. For example, some men tend to feel threatened by other men with bigger muscles

Let it hang there, the point should be clear to all.
Few people will have the skills to turn that around. And if he defends, he's done. At that point, the win is so clear that may even throw him a (false) life preserver and add "of course, not you man".

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