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Dark triads vs. normal people: who has more dating success?

From this thread.

I argued that women who went with this dating coach (who showed serious traits of internalized contempt) may unfortunately have been traumatized people.

This is Lucio's post:

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on May 27, 2023, 3:53 pm
Quote from Bel on May 27, 2023, 3:43 pm

Apparently his 1,300 conquests were unable to see it.

Which begs the question if they, unfortunately, were really traumatized people, or if they even do exist.

Don't wanna go off-topic, so if interested open a new one after this.

But quickly:


Not necessarily.

  1. For many women, a high dark triad man or even a total asshole can still be better than a too-nice guy
    Edit: which is one of the reasons why TPM's work is good for society. Fewer women ending up with assholes when "good guys" step up their game 🙂
  2. A one-night stand with a condom can be a lot less bonehead than a longer-term friend friendship or business partnership with the wrong person
  3. A lower SMV woman can still gain with a higher SMV man. High numbers also say little about skills because "fishing down" requires different (and less) skills than going parallel (or above, the most challenging)
  4. Stringing alcohol or drug-fueled one-night stands also means you end up with certain types of women that "better vibe" with you (not too high-quality, potentially themselves antisocials, in environments where bad choices are more likely, etc. etc.)
  5. What some people say has no link to reality (as you already hinted to).
    As a matter of fact, if certain individuals say X, you can most safely guess that X is not true. And if certain individuasl say a number and that number is supposedly framed as "good", you can most safely guess the real number is not what they say but (much) lower


I am interested in understanding if a dark triad man has - on average - better success with women than a normal empathetic man.

My guess, also based on Lucio's post here above, is that dark triads on average may have higher success with lower-quality women. And they may also have more motivation to pursue a higher number of sexual partners per se, to prove themselves "worthy" or just to have more pleasure.

But normal men are not likely to want those women. Nor are normal men likely to want to go to bed with 1,300 women.

Also, in my mind, dark triads select dates based mostly on compliance. While normal men select dates based on attractiveness and long term compatibility. Thus normal men are more likely to - on average - only pursue more attractive and compatible women (which, as Lucio says, slants the question, since a dark triad will have sex with most likely anyone willing).

I guess the question is: on average, are attractive women able to recognize and avoid predators and dark triads? And, do they tend to go for secure healthy men instead?

Or is the dating field slanted to the advantage of predators and dark triads? Such as that - if a normal person and a dark triad pursued the same woman, on average the woman would be likely to fall for the dark triad - who could be amenable to lying, love bombing, faking compliance, commitment, etc.?

My take on all this is that the (secure, sane and honest) women that one would want in one's life are able to understand who they have in front of them, and would probably go for the normal person.

And that the women who tend to fall for dark triads are not women that a normal guy would want in one's life. In other words, there is - on average - a natural selection and self-exclusion process in play. And conversely, the more a normal guy has "good game", the more he is able to select what he wants and be more honest.

There's an article on a similar topic:

Why Psychopaths Get Laid More

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And one more actually:

Psychopaths’ Sexual Strategy: Marauders of Sex

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Thank you!

I guess they answer everything I've asked here and basically confirm my take.

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Lucio Buffalmano

Yeah, seem pretty much similar conclusions.

Would be different for narcissists and Machiavellians, though.
They both don't have nearly as many downsides as psychopaths.

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Not sure about that.

Narcissists abuse people (at least those that are real narcissists), and tend to destroy the connection.

And real Machiavellians, based on the articles I read in TPM's blog, are not desired as long term partners because they lie and are manipulative when the opportunity arises.

I believe secure women - and men, also, in the case of dark triad women - may tend to develop an unconscious capability to recognize these kinds of people and stay away.

I know I did, after my first experiences with dark triad women.

Maybe for short term there is more success for dark triads. But for long term, not so much.

I suppose there may be a tendency for men and women on similar levels (or absence) of "dark triadness" to stick together.

Either that, or the relationship is fake and is a manipulationship.

EDIT: I think mental health is the most attractive stance. As you say, it involves being a generally normal guy who is able to adapt and be good with those who are good, and defend from those who are bad.

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