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Defending against "you're a genius"

#41 · January 13, 2024, 3:08 pm

Quote from Power Duck on January 13, 2024, 3:08 pm
Quote from DGX37 on January 13, 2024, 1:21 pm
I don't see going meta going well in most situations, only when it's a serious problem and it needs to be solved, or you a type of person that has no time for bs.
A good tactic is not only helping with situation but also deepening your identity and showing others who you are.
It seems to me answering well is not as important, but keeping your identity intact makes it possible so people that you want to be approached by will approach you.
Of course responding strongly in a way that fits you is good, but it's not the only factor, in a situation with an asshole, while you may lose often people see through their own lens what is happening and still dislike you even if you win.
For example if you answer in a serious tone and win even if you assert yourself people will look at you less as a heart of the party even though you may be one and if you reply sarcastically if you an understanding person people who care of understanding may be less inclined to talk with you
And often losing is not as important at the moment, what matters is what's happening over a long period of time, and often, at least in my eyes, even if someone lost I didn't care that much, and often still talked to them if I saw they are similar to me.
So if you are or want to be a playful person, respond in playful manner, if you are serious person who doesn't care, respond in serious manner, if you are chill person, respond is chill manner, in short be calm, choose the way that fits you and focus on using it in the best way.

Often you can win even if you lose because you gain people who are like you, and losing is not permanent, you can always think it over and nail it next time.
In such situation going meta could be problematic, because people like making jokes, and maybe you want to make jokes too, you want them to open to you, but you defending strongly may look to others as if you have no chill and therefore those people will rather leave you alone.
So I would say many of those tactics can solve the problem but one should wonder if it's a tactic THEY want to use.
OFF TOPIC
Personally I think for the most part this is worth it's own separate post. I think it's too good to not go more into it.
Specially this part:
It seems to me answering well is not as important, but keeping your identity intact makes it possible so people that you want to be approached by will approach you.
Of course responding strongly in a way that fits you is good, but it's not the only factor, in a situation with an asshole, while you may lose often people see through their own lens what is happening and still dislike you even if you win.
For example if you answer in a serious tone and win even if you assert yourself people will look at you less as a heart of the party even though you may be one and if you reply sarcastically if you an understanding person people who care of understanding may be less inclined to talk with you
And often losing is not as important at the moment, what matters is what's happening over a long period of time, and often, at least in my eyes, even if someone lost I didn't care that much, and often still talked to them if I saw they are similar to me.
The fact that sometimes losing against obvious power moves can make others like you (as well as sometimes be a good strategy) and show others who's the asshole is something I had a vague idea about. Hadnt thought about it in such a detailed way.
I think it's referred in tpm as "giving rope", however I have little examples in mind.
END OFF TOPIC.

Quote from DGX37 on January 13, 2024, 1:21 pm
I don't see going meta going well in most situations, only when it's a serious problem and it needs to be solved, or you a type of person that has no time for bs.
A good tactic is not only helping with situation but also deepening your identity and showing others who you are.
It seems to me answering well is not as important, but keeping your identity intact makes it possible so people that you want to be approached by will approach you.
Of course responding strongly in a way that fits you is good, but it's not the only factor, in a situation with an asshole, while you may lose often people see through their own lens what is happening and still dislike you even if you win.
For example if you answer in a serious tone and win even if you assert yourself people will look at you less as a heart of the party even though you may be one and if you reply sarcastically if you an understanding person people who care of understanding may be less inclined to talk with you
And often losing is not as important at the moment, what matters is what's happening over a long period of time, and often, at least in my eyes, even if someone lost I didn't care that much, and often still talked to them if I saw they are similar to me.
So if you are or want to be a playful person, respond in playful manner, if you are serious person who doesn't care, respond in serious manner, if you are chill person, respond is chill manner, in short be calm, choose the way that fits you and focus on using it in the best way.

Often you can win even if you lose because you gain people who are like you, and losing is not permanent, you can always think it over and nail it next time.
In such situation going meta could be problematic, because people like making jokes, and maybe you want to make jokes too, you want them to open to you, but you defending strongly may look to others as if you have no chill and therefore those people will rather leave you alone.
So I would say many of those tactics can solve the problem but one should wonder if it's a tactic THEY want to use.

OFF TOPIC

Personally I think for the most part this is worth it's own separate post. I think it's too good to not go more into it.

Specially this part:

It seems to me answering well is not as important, but keeping your identity intact makes it possible so people that you want to be approached by will approach you.
Of course responding strongly in a way that fits you is good, but it's not the only factor, in a situation with an asshole, while you may lose often people see through their own lens what is happening and still dislike you even if you win.
For example if you answer in a serious tone and win even if you assert yourself people will look at you less as a heart of the party even though you may be one and if you reply sarcastically if you an understanding person people who care of understanding may be less inclined to talk with you
And often losing is not as important at the moment, what matters is what's happening over a long period of time, and often, at least in my eyes, even if someone lost I didn't care that much, and often still talked to them if I saw they are similar to me.

The fact that sometimes losing against obvious power moves can make others like you (as well as sometimes be a good strategy) and show others who's the asshole is something I had a vague idea about. Hadnt thought about it in such a detailed way.

I think it's referred in tpm as "giving rope", however I have little examples in mind.

END OFF TOPIC.

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#42 · January 13, 2024, 8:07 pm

Off-topic

I think the same. This opens a new conversation/thread: the chameleon approach (using all tools) vs the character approach (using only the tools that fit your personality). So worth a new thread.

That being said, I agree with the idea to stay light if the mood is light. If one is too heavy there's the risk of being too negative and takes from the group (party pooping) so people don't feel at ease and will tend to avoid the person.

/Off-topic

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