Quote from John Freeman on December 16, 2022, 5:12 pm

Power protecting is better I think.

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on December 17, 2022, 3:35 am

Thank you John, super helpful.

So "power protecting" it is, I guess.

Quote from B on December 17, 2022, 1:01 pm

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on December 16, 2022, 5:47 am

From Bel's thread:

Quote from Bel on December 16, 2022, 4:15 am

Here's one social climbing power move I only fully understand now:

Equating another person's present situation to one's own past situation, and speaking of the latter in extremely derogatory terms, while implying the speaker is over it

Example:

Yeah, I understand. Before I learned this, like you I also was constantly making a fool of myself.

It works by covering the insult in a false self-deprecating similarity. The self-deprecation (and the similarity as well) is false, because the speaker is presenting his past situation as already over.

So his loss of public status, assuming there is one, is infinitely smaller than the one he is forcing on the other.

It also packs in a teacher/learner frame punch for maximum effect.

And the fake "closeness", as well.

The fact that the power-move is intentional can be desumed from the extremely derogatory terms used by the power mover. In fact, if one did not intend to power move, he or she would not use derogatory terms in this situation. In other words: the more derogatory the terms, the more intentional the move.

Solution: reframe as his situation only, magnify the closeness (to paint his "self-deprecation" in a new light) and differentiate one's own situation.

Woah, it must have been tough man. In my case though it should mostly be a matter of tweaking a couple things.

By the way: while writing the above, I also see how one can eliminate the teacher/learner frame subtly:

• reframe the challenge as different
• reframe the solution proposed by the teacher as not pertinent
• reframe the issue as smaller than the one the teacher must have encountered in his life.

How about:

• Manipulative relating
• Relating power move

The cover of their power move is to relate.

Legit relating is a great technique to power-protect, bond, and make others feel good and accepted.
It's part of "normalizing" whatever one says or may feel bad about.

This is a mis-use of relating to instead thread-expand and make the victim's situation seem larger and worse, while also social climbing to show that they "solved it and moved on".

I like both. Relating power move maybe slightly more.

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on December 18, 2022, 3:58 am

Thank you, Bel!

Added to the dictionary now.

BTW, a heads up: I'm planning to start a new category for single article/post entries for every single power move/game + example + solutions.

I think it will be a lot better than one single dictionary/place for all, and easier to link and search -plus, great for TPM-.

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on April 13, 2023, 10:54 am

New definition:

• Manipulative ganging up (AKA "made up gang").

The power mover frames the conversation as if the group, or an imaginary group, is against the target, creating a "non-existing gang".

It's manipulative because the group may have never expressed any cohesive opinion or attitude against the target and, in some cases, the group may be neutral or even be closer to the target than to the manipulator.

However, when the target buys into the manipulator's frame he gives up on the opportunity to sway the group on his side.
Instead, the target becomes the co-creator of the new frame and reality where it's him against everyone else -and he can further dig his own hole if he starts breaking rapport and/or get aggressive against the full group.

Solution: reject and surface that the group has taken sides, and always challenge the power mover only while looking to the group to recruit them on your side (remember: this is a battle for public relations and group leadership).

Ideally, isolate the power mover and surface that he was being a nasty manipulator.

---

Thanks to Bel:

Quote from Bel on April 12, 2023, 12:43 pm

OFF TOPIC

If I interpreted the dynamics correctly, I think this dynamic, which is already exposed in some of PU's lessons (I remember the video where the guy bought a "champagne diamond") may merit a name if not already present in the dictionary of power.

It is a form of ganging up, but a manipulative one: the ganging up is mostly due to the mark falling into the frame of "they are all against me" set by the manipulator.

It is a reaction of the group to the mark's behavior, not to the manipulator's behavior.

 

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on September 28, 2023, 10:05 am

Thinking of a good name for this phenomenon:

An individual of lower value/status/accomplishments forms an in-group onto a higher value person to social climb.
He can do neutrally, talking it as if the two are at the same level, or even with a seeming compliment.

Example:

When a popular Italian musician died some weeks ago, the TV cameras were at the funeral.

Two artists were talking about their (supposedly common) past history and one turned to another and said:

Yeah, in the 80's it was me, you and... (apparently struggled to think of who else was there)

So he formed a "same-level" ingroup between the two and... Maybe someone else.

It was a power move because the speaker wasn't half as accomplished as the receiver.

He was OK, and had a couple of good songs, but the other one was a cultural icon that influenced an era was known internationally.

So the speaker formed a "same level ingroup" with the other one to hitchhike on his status.
Whether the speaker increases his status or lowers the receiver's status depends on how people see the two of them. But probably, in most cases, a mix of both.

So the receiver likely lost out.

Not easy to defend against since you can't come out and say "yeah, but I was and am at another level, bro".

Quote from B on September 28, 2023, 1:00 pm

A very interesting concept!

I witnessed it as a staple of workplace power hungry people' behavior: parading immediate close association with founders/owners by simply showing up in their close vicinity and bantering with them in front of everybody.

The manipulative person may be entry level, but the most important thing to him is to always show up as laughing with, bantering with, and being close to the founder.

The words that are being said are irrelevant. Often they are even low level jokes, useless stuff, etc. The point is just to have other peers or higher level employees "get the feeling" of a close relationship between the manipulator and the founder.

EDIT: Some sort of "manipulative piggybacking" maybe.

EDIT: I personally saw one person do it by being very formal and obsequious, and close, and going to lunch with the founders. He rose quickly within the law firm ranks and when conflicts arose between him and his peers, he was always the one defended by the founders, including when he was in the "wrong".

Another person I saw doing it by bantering and joking, including about "going out with" the founder's daughter. He was less successful in rising through the ranks, but I still saw that this kind of behavior favored him with the founder, who frequently confided in him and cut him enormous slack as to actual work.

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on September 28, 2023, 9:38 pm

Hey Bel,

Yes, that's similar and somewhat overlapping, but it then starts to diverge quite a bit when it's about subordinates at work (the power difference is much larger there and the hierarchy official and clear-cut).

Focusing on the first one's name, I like the "piggybacking" concept.
Doesn't seem a clear example of manipulation though, so I'm thinking something like:

• Status piggybacking

Or:

• Status leeching
• Status hitching

Quote from John Freeman on December 25, 2023, 1:50 pm

Hello Lucio,

missed that one above. I like Status leeching the most.

Regarding my recent post, about playing the victim in the modern age. Typical frame from some feminists: "Men are violent and pollute. They oppressed women. Women are morally superior".

So "playing the victim" (already in the dictionary but I feel there are more components, also there is no direct link to the dictionary anymore?).

The components also have a sequence:

1. Self-frame as victim (justifies the attack)
2. Shame the opponent (make them look bad therefore inferior)
3. Social climbing (now that they're down, easier to climb on top)
4. Virtue signaling (from the top of their head to higher: I'm not only better I'm much better), can be done in parallel with 3.

Example: "Rich people take money from the poor. For what? Only for themselves: their yacht and planes which pollute. I personally don't own a car and take the train all the time."

I would call this: "victim-posturing" or "victim social climbing" or "Bringing down the powerful" or "Alpha social climbing" or "Victim one-up" or "Victim push-down".

Something along these lines, if you have ideas to brainstorm or think it is redundant, please let me know.