Definitive dictionary of power
Thank you so much, LoF!
Quote from leaderoffun on September 14, 2022, 1:17 amThat dependency on a different variable to make a virtue 'valid or invalid' may generalize to other cases. Happy to hear your thoughts on this. Which other virtues depend on something else to be virtues?
Feel free to open a new thread for this one if you're interested (or replying to that here would end up in an off-topic).
First: the concept is powerful. It will go places. Meaning that new ideas might branch from this one.
Second: I propose: "The Law of Balance", which has the impact you're looking for and is quite short.
Thank you so much John!
You're welcome! 🙂
I propose:
Imaginary apology
Similar to imaginary generosity, it's when the person refers to an apology that never happened. When you confront the person and says: "I apologised and you did not" (true fact) and the person says: "But I apologised" (and did not).
Feed-back welcome! (does this formulation is value-taking as Growfast suggested? If yes, then please ignore and read this: "Looking forward to hear from you!")
Thank you John, absolutely not value taking, all suggestions are golden.
It's most certainly a power move.
However, there should be some more criteria to justify a new name / entry.
As of now, I'm thinking it may not happen often enough and it may overlap too much with a general lie & the already existing cluster of behaviors centered around "social exchange scalping".
I meant: by this formulation:
Feed-back welcome!
Growfast suggested that it was value-taking as he said it was implying that I was giving something whereas I was asking something. I don't see it that way (hence my question) but I'm open to other perspectives.
It is social scalping, it's a subcategory of it, it's more a technique of social scalping: you get the benefit of apologizing without apologizing.
So I will rephrase: I think it's a concept you could use in PU of social scalping if you want and feel it's not fundamental enough for the dictionary.
New definition and addition to the dictionary of power:
Triangular guilt tripping
to complain or project anger and/or emotional distress to someone about the actions of a third party.
The goal can be to vent, to affect you emotionally, to gain your sympathies, and/or to spur you into action.
It can most certainly work, especially to emotionally affect you, but it comes at a high cost for the triangular guilt-tripper who can easily come to be seen as an annoying complainer or a low-power passive who cannot do his own bidding.
Power-protecting, power-saving, or... What else?
Hey guys,
I'm working on an article / PU upgrade specifically on the concept of "power protecting".
And I'm wondering if "power protecting" is the best and most evocative name, or if something else might be even better suited.
For example:
- Power saving: the advantage of being similar to "saving face", a subset and more popular form of power-protecting. The downside is that, to me, it feels more like saving for yourself instead of for others
- Power caring: a bit like "customer care", where you take steps to make others comfortable
Any idea or thoughts on this?
Also consider: power protecting may already be good.
But I want to ask and get some input before settling for it.
My personal preference goes to “power-protecting”.
As to the new idea-subconcept we discussed, maybe “jumping through (the issue, the mistake, the obstacle) power-protecting”.
Thank you so much, Bel!
Super useful.