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does hypergamy decrease in richer and more egalitarian societies
Quote from reader on September 20, 2020, 4:15 pmSo lets see how it goes, as much as I know hypergamy from my research is only a bit weaker in richer societies, and females value resources over looks even in rich societies.
Two bits from your hypergamy article:
“In environments with evenly distributed resources, as in many developed countries, looks will fare comparatively better.”
And
“Rich societies decrease hypergamy”.
I find it very hard to belive because of the Harlow, H. F. basic primate instinct and the abundance social armageddon experiment. When too much is supplied the more is desired and reading your work (I enjoy reading it ?) I found that the higher she is on the social hierarchy more she expects so therefore man has to aquire more to make her standard.As Jordan Peterson said that only in scandinavia hypergamy has a bit of attenuation but thats not much so even in the most advanced countries hypergamy is pretty much the same.
And for the looks part:
First, even in the most egalitarian of modern societies, such as the Scandinavian countries, men still dominate women economically and politically. Men earn more than women over their lifespans, and they rise to higher positions in business and government. Women’s lot in modern industrialized nations is far better today than it was in the past, and it’s certainly much improved over the condition of women in traditional societies. Second, there’s the issue of social stratification in modern life. Even if a woman earns enough to support herself and her children, her standard of living will still be much better with a mate that’s also a good breadwinner.
Thus, gender equality alone isn’t enough for women to shift their mate preferences from resources to looks. Instead, there would have to be society-wide equality of income as well.
If all men earned roughly the same amount, then women certainly would value looks over resources because money would no longer be an issue. There was also Zhang, L., Lee, A. J., DeBruine, L. M., & Jones, B. C. (2019).
Are sex differences in preferences for physical attractiveness and good earning capacity in potential mates smaller in countries with greater gender equality? And they also found very little difference between the most egolitarian countries and traditional ones when it comes to mate choice. Money did better even in top countries.
P.S I’m hoping socioeconomic status and some ok social intelligence will save me bcs I’m ugly af ?? ,thanks for your work it makes me less depressed ?
So lets see how it goes, as much as I know hypergamy from my research is only a bit weaker in richer societies, and females value resources over looks even in rich societies.
Two bits from your hypergamy article:
“In environments with evenly distributed resources, as in many developed countries, looks will fare comparatively better.”
And
“Rich societies decrease hypergamy”.
I find it very hard to belive because of the Harlow, H. F. basic primate instinct and the abundance social armageddon experiment. When too much is supplied the more is desired and reading your work (I enjoy reading it ?) I found that the higher she is on the social hierarchy more she expects so therefore man has to aquire more to make her standard.As Jordan Peterson said that only in scandinavia hypergamy has a bit of attenuation but thats not much so even in the most advanced countries hypergamy is pretty much the same.
And for the looks part:
First, even in the most egalitarian of modern societies, such as the Scandinavian countries, men still dominate women economically and politically. Men earn more than women over their lifespans, and they rise to higher positions in business and government. Women’s lot in modern industrialized nations is far better today than it was in the past, and it’s certainly much improved over the condition of women in traditional societies. Second, there’s the issue of social stratification in modern life. Even if a woman earns enough to support herself and her children, her standard of living will still be much better with a mate that’s also a good breadwinner.
Thus, gender equality alone isn’t enough for women to shift their mate preferences from resources to looks. Instead, there would have to be society-wide equality of income as well.
If all men earned roughly the same amount, then women certainly would value looks over resources because money would no longer be an issue. There was also Zhang, L., Lee, A. J., DeBruine, L. M., & Jones, B. C. (2019).
Are sex differences in preferences for physical attractiveness and good earning capacity in potential mates smaller in countries with greater gender equality? And they also found very little difference between the most egolitarian countries and traditional ones when it comes to mate choice. Money did better even in top countries.
P.S I’m hoping socioeconomic status and some ok social intelligence will save me bcs I’m ugly af ?? ,thanks for your work it makes me less depressed ?
Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on September 20, 2020, 5:35 pmYou make very good points, reader.
To be precise, you seem to focus on the money aspect of hypergamy alone.
There are a few more variables besude affluence and form of govenrment (unfettered capitalism VS communism) that impact how much money matters, by the way, including:
- Personal preferences: some women just like money and luxury more than others
- Culture: some cultures seek and glorify money and status more than others
- Environment within the culture: some environments are all about showing the bling to make people feel good. Many clubs are like that
You say:
I found that the higher she is on the social hierarchy more she expects so therefore man has to aquire more to make her standard
That's true.
But you have to look at the whole spectrum.
The average gal in Germany who makes 2k a month is not going to lust after a guy who makes 5k and chase him just because he's a higher than average income.Sure, she will still give a big plus to the guy with a Ferrari, but if they don't end up together and all that guy had was a Ferrari.. She's probably gonna be happier with the guy she actually loves, instead.
To me, to realize how a society's affluence raises the importance of money, you only need to go where money is in very short supply.
But go to some poor parts of Africa, and there is a good chance that the average girl making 50 USD a month will chase the guy who makes 5k.
And if she doesn't end up together with him, that's her whole dream of getting the F out of there and eating well, and maybe even helping her family and assuring a good future to her children that evaporates.
Big fraking deal.When you look at the whole society's spectrum, society-wide affluence has a strong dampening effect on the money-related side of hypergamy.
You make very good points, reader.
To be precise, you seem to focus on the money aspect of hypergamy alone.
There are a few more variables besude affluence and form of govenrment (unfettered capitalism VS communism) that impact how much money matters, by the way, including:
- Personal preferences: some women just like money and luxury more than others
- Culture: some cultures seek and glorify money and status more than others
- Environment within the culture: some environments are all about showing the bling to make people feel good. Many clubs are like that
You say:
I found that the higher she is on the social hierarchy more she expects so therefore man has to aquire more to make her standard
That's true.
But you have to look at the whole spectrum.
The average gal in Germany who makes 2k a month is not going to lust after a guy who makes 5k and chase him just because he's a higher than average income.
Sure, she will still give a big plus to the guy with a Ferrari, but if they don't end up together and all that guy had was a Ferrari.. She's probably gonna be happier with the guy she actually loves, instead.
To me, to realize how a society's affluence raises the importance of money, you only need to go where money is in very short supply.
But go to some poor parts of Africa, and there is a good chance that the average girl making 50 USD a month will chase the guy who makes 5k.
And if she doesn't end up together with him, that's her whole dream of getting the F out of there and eating well, and maybe even helping her family and assuring a good future to her children that evaporates.
Big fraking deal.
When you look at the whole society's spectrum, society-wide affluence has a strong dampening effect on the money-related side of hypergamy.
Quote from reader on September 20, 2020, 6:19 pmI know I just want to make it clear to myself.Two months ago I never belived than it makes any difference in attracting someone.Its pretty much around 50% SMV its not everything ofc but its still a major determinant of attrAction for potential females. I even told my redpill friends that redpill is stupid and never belived any if that stuff(still not redpilled).One day this video got in my recommended and I just had to know everything about this https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=N7LN14IpVy0 I’m glad to know these things even tho I dont like to hear some but hey pain is good sometimes. I wish I knew it before...
I know I just want to make it clear to myself.Two months ago I never belived than it makes any difference in attracting someone.Its pretty much around 50% SMV its not everything ofc but its still a major determinant of attrAction for potential females. I even told my redpill friends that redpill is stupid and never belived any if that stuff(still not redpilled).One day this video got in my recommended and I just had to know everything about this https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=N7LN14IpVy0 I’m glad to know these things even tho I dont like to hear some but hey pain is good sometimes. I wish I knew it before...
Quote from reader on September 20, 2020, 6:33 pmOne more thing in todays age is going to influence this even more and it is influencing/influencers,people are wired these days on things like that,social media will make some very bad things on younger generations about this.
One more thing in todays age is going to influence this even more and it is influencing/influencers,people are wired these days on things like that,social media will make some very bad things on younger generations about this.
Quote from reader on September 20, 2020, 6:44 pmSorry for spamming but how much power highly above average guys it terms of money have over women thats my main qeustion it keeps intriguing me for a while.
Sorry for spamming but how much power highly above average guys it terms of money have over women thats my main qeustion it keeps intriguing me for a while.
Quote from Kellvo on September 28, 2020, 11:01 pmHey Reader,
Just reading through your posts, it sounds like you're going through a big upheaval. Finding out uncomfortable truths will do that man. I've been there too. My advice if you want it is simple, keep going, adapt the best you can, and find as many other reasons to be happy as you can. Women are a part of life, but only a part, and there are many cool things to live for :)
I asked much the same question myself, simply because I want to see every man and woman be the best version of themselves and share in the pleasures of life. There's enough for everyone, we just gotta expand the pie until it is that way. I think some form of exchange will always exist, and men and women both are gonna want the best they can get. Nothing wrong with that, as long as the exchange is fair and without malice. What is exchanged and how valuable it is depends on the situation, and paraphrasing Lucio, diminishing returns and local supply and demand are a big influence on the situation.
My personal insight regarding Hypergamy (and it's male counterpart too) is that in many ways, we guys are pretty lucky: we have many avenues to grow value by and much more time to cultivate and utilize said value, whereas women have a more stable and reliable but much more limited base of value (based largely on looks) and much less time to make use of it. We benefit both from greater mobility (different places play up to different strengths) and the ability to grow into different niches, which no one man can fill. Compared to the past, it's a much more unstable world for men, but also a much freer one; all we got to do is grow into our unique talents.
Hey Reader,
Just reading through your posts, it sounds like you're going through a big upheaval. Finding out uncomfortable truths will do that man. I've been there too. My advice if you want it is simple, keep going, adapt the best you can, and find as many other reasons to be happy as you can. Women are a part of life, but only a part, and there are many cool things to live for :)
I asked much the same question myself, simply because I want to see every man and woman be the best version of themselves and share in the pleasures of life. There's enough for everyone, we just gotta expand the pie until it is that way. I think some form of exchange will always exist, and men and women both are gonna want the best they can get. Nothing wrong with that, as long as the exchange is fair and without malice. What is exchanged and how valuable it is depends on the situation, and paraphrasing Lucio, diminishing returns and local supply and demand are a big influence on the situation.
My personal insight regarding Hypergamy (and it's male counterpart too) is that in many ways, we guys are pretty lucky: we have many avenues to grow value by and much more time to cultivate and utilize said value, whereas women have a more stable and reliable but much more limited base of value (based largely on looks) and much less time to make use of it. We benefit both from greater mobility (different places play up to different strengths) and the ability to grow into different niches, which no one man can fill. Compared to the past, it's a much more unstable world for men, but also a much freer one; all we got to do is grow into our unique talents.
Quote from Tina on September 29, 2020, 12:38 pmThis is a woman perspective living in a first world country with a large middle class population.
I am middle class myself.
I would only say this to my very closest friends, but I would not want to date a man who earns less than I do and I would prefer a wealthy man for long term/marriage. But if he is a wealthy man I don't like personally, then no wealth in the world would make me want to be with him.
I think wealth in richer countries is more attractive to certain types of women like gold diggers while in poorer countries it's attractive to maybe every woman.
This is a woman perspective living in a first world country with a large middle class population.
I am middle class myself.
I would only say this to my very closest friends, but I would not want to date a man who earns less than I do and I would prefer a wealthy man for long term/marriage. But if he is a wealthy man I don't like personally, then no wealth in the world would make me want to be with him.
I think wealth in richer countries is more attractive to certain types of women like gold diggers while in poorer countries it's attractive to maybe every woman.
Quote from Kellvo on September 29, 2020, 1:48 pmFascinating, and makes a lot of sense; wealth, besides its obvious uses, is in many ways a physical indicator of value contributed and returned. Wanting value for value is natural and normal. I agree with the second part; I've met physically attractive, feminine and in other ways high value women who were interested in me, but who had personalities, interests and mindsets that really turned me off.
With what you said, do you observe women valuing greater wealth in their men in general? Have you noticed other women considering various desirable attributes more or less important depending on culture, region or socioeconomic strata? I'd imagine some traits are universal, like how men universally value fertility, but that a lot can change per person, and that what we value on an emotional level means a lot and can color our preferences as well.
Fascinating, and makes a lot of sense; wealth, besides its obvious uses, is in many ways a physical indicator of value contributed and returned. Wanting value for value is natural and normal. I agree with the second part; I've met physically attractive, feminine and in other ways high value women who were interested in me, but who had personalities, interests and mindsets that really turned me off.
With what you said, do you observe women valuing greater wealth in their men in general? Have you noticed other women considering various desirable attributes more or less important depending on culture, region or socioeconomic strata? I'd imagine some traits are universal, like how men universally value fertility, but that a lot can change per person, and that what we value on an emotional level means a lot and can color our preferences as well.
Quote from reader on September 30, 2020, 1:26 amThank you Tina your insight means a lot.And what usually makes you not liking someone personally?
Thank you Tina your insight means a lot.And what usually makes you not liking someone personally?
Quote from reader on September 30, 2020, 1:44 amAnd kellvo that perspective is just what every man should have, I couldn’t agree more with everything you said. So glad I found so much value on this topic in one place.
And kellvo that perspective is just what every man should have, I couldn’t agree more with everything you said. So glad I found so much value on this topic in one place.
