Extreme growth mindset: "There's no such thing as 'canceling'" (Tory Lanez)
[49:29 - 56:46]
Lanez: "I don't believe in the word 'canceling'. I believe that there is a time when a strong group of Twitter people get together and say something at one time. And, for however long that lasts is what people call canceling...anything that's been called 'cancelled' or whatever was temporarily cancelled.
Lanez: "At the end of the day, I just think, regardless of anything, I just think when you move forward, you do what you're good at, you continue to do what you're good at, nobody can cancel anything but you. You're the only person who can do anything like that...if you choose to be brought down by a group of people on Twitter and social media then that's just how you chose to feel. But, if you don't feel that way about yourself, it doesn't matter.
Lanez: "...they're canceling the moment. They're canceling that moment. They're not canceling the person. They didn't feel this way about you before whatever moment is being said about you. So, take that and just understand that, 'Yo, that was a bad moment. I need to now work back to revive myself from that moment. And, move forward.'"
Lanez: "The only thing that I really disagree with is when we treat people as if you're not allowed to be human. I'm a f*cking human, I make mistakes. Everybody makes mistakes...people feel like you're supposed to be a robot."
Lanez: "Nobody in this Earth can tell you that you're stopped from doing something unless you're the police, a judge, a jury...no one can tell you that you're stopped from doing something."
Tory believes that canceling is, in reality, only a suspension because it's only ever temporary so long as one is willing to continue working towards their goals.
I fully agree with the mindset behind his philosophy on canceling. Yet, I also believe that canceling is very real and, although it's more often used for value-taking purposes, it can also be used for good (see Lucio's thoughts on virtue-signaling).
That said, I think Tory does a great job of embodying and demonstrating an extreme growth mindset. I gleaned some insight from his mindsets and attitudes toward life and, looking at his comments through a self-empowerment lens, I have a few notes based on his beliefs:
- Canceling is really only a temporary suspension: canceling is only temporary because no one can keep you from achieving your goals except for you.
- Be so good they can't ignore you: and you'll be the only person who can cancel yourself.
- "...if you choose to be brought down by a group of people...then that's just how you chose to feel. But, if you don't feel that way about yourself, it doesn't matter": you're in charge of your thoughts, feelings, and behavior. And, with that control, you can overcome any "attack" from the outside world. (As the old African proverb goes, "If there is no enemy within, the enemy outside can do us no harm.")
- View the situation from an eagle approach: "...they're canceling the moment...they didn't feel this way about you before...". They're canceling the mistake and the moment surrounding the mistake. Give the people time to accept and move on from the mistake/moment, and you'll be fine. (As Robert Greene says, "Elevate yourself above the battlefield." They didn't feel this way about you before and, given more time, they won't feel this way about you after.)
- Adopt a learner's attitude toward the situation: "...understand that, 'Yo, that was a bad moment. I need to now work back to revive myself from that moment. And, move forward...I'm a f*cking human, I make mistakes. Everybody makes mistakes...people feel like you're supposed to be a robot."
- Extreme growth mindset: "Nobody in this Earth can tell you that you're stopped from doing something unless you're the police, a judge, a jury...no one can tell you that you're stopped from doing something."
I agree with Tory's point that people are only canceling the moment. I also feel that, depending on what you did, that moment can be near indefinite (for example, the R. Kelly case).
Feel free to share your thoughts below.
Great post, Ali.
I don't necessarily see this as a clear example of "growth mindset" -maybe more like a general mental empowerment mindset, or enlightened individualism over mad crowds-.
But I do see it the same way as you do: both approaches are good and correct.
And they can go together, it's not a question of "either / or".
The "realistic" approach says that if the "canceling" takes over your whole persona and reputation, it can become a serious issue to contend with.
And even in the best case scenario, it's still a nuisance that you're better off avoiding.
And at the same time, a huge chunk of how it affects you is about how you look at it.
Turkeys Cannot Cancel Eagles
I also personally add another variable that makes canceling much easier to deal with -also at a mental level-.
And that approach is to believe and see the "cancelers" as a bunch of turkeys (some exceptions apply, of course, and sometimes a cancel campaign can be called for and value-adding).
That doesn't necessarily mean bad people -although some might as well be-. But it often does mean hypocrites prey and clueless of their own dark sides without even realizing it.
The eagles don't usually join the frenzied crowd of murderers to stone the (supposed) sinner.
They either suspend judgment, try to better understand the facts, or see the humanity and the sinner's point of view before committing to action.
There is an example in PU where one guy threatened to sic his 30k Instagram followers against me in what seemed a cancel-moment threat (with a typical cancel-culture hot button such as "gender discrimination").
And albeit in my strategizing I wanted to avoid that battle -including not to waste time-, I wasn't that scared.
Because, in my mind, the attackers would have all been a bunch of turkeys, led by a low-quality turkey-in-chief.
Even in the worst-case scenario of me dying at the hand of turkeys, I'd still think "you're still a bunch of f*cking turkeys". And I'll die here, but I die an eagle, and that's etched in the universe, and you'll still be for ever a bunch of turkeys.
Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on October 12, 2021, 3:33 pmThe "realistic" approach says that if the "canceling" takes over your whole persona and reputation, it can become a serious issue to contend with.
And even in the best case scenario, it's still a nuisance that you're better off avoiding.
I experienced this on LinkedIn.
Turkeys can be quite scary.
And there were like 100+ turkeys.
But I had eagle friends, and they got the turkeys to delete all the posts within an hour.
We were lucky to a certain extent.
It also made me realise that the eagles probably don't believe the turkeys as you mentioned.
They see an angry mob of turkeys.
OFF-TOPIC
Why do we represent value-takers with the animal turkey?
I used to associate turkey with Christmas.
OFF-TOPIC
Quote from Matthew Whitewood on October 12, 2021, 4:41 pmIt also made me realise that the eagles probably don't believe the turkeys as you mentioned.
They see an angry mob of turkeys.
Exactly, that's another key factor.
OFF-TOPIC
Turkey was because of the saying "you can't fly with the eagles when you surround yourself with turkeys".
Plus the fact that turkeys are ground animals and easily domesticated ( = indoctrinated/manipulated).
The fact that they're fed and domesticated until they get slaughtered on Christmas is also a bonus actually. When you depend on others instead of empowering yourself, that can also happen.
OFF-TOPIC