Frame your success as inspiration / success story, NEVER against other people's failure
Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on March 12, 2021, 7:49 pmWe talked about something similar here.
The message was:
- Frame your social media updates not as a "look at me", but as a "look at this cool thing (I happened to be doing, and that you might do as well)"
You want to do something similar for your successes.
Look at this example:
Picture of him standing behind 3 awards
Of course: we want to advertise our achievements.
That's human nature: the only reason why want to achieve something, after all, is for the power and status pay-offs.So, it's not necessarily bad to advertise your achievements or to "brag" a bit.
However, bragging is an art (and science).
And bragging framed as in the above example, tends to erode your social capital.
Why?
Well, think about this:
How do you feel reading it?
The feel is that "these other people all failed, BUT my company was doing well, and I was doing great".
It feels like a total brag, and you usually want to avoid direct-talk bragging (some exceptions apply, but let's stick to general rules).
Plus, it feels like an unneeded social climb by using those other job-losers for contrast.And indeed: how are those other people who struggled in 2020 supposed to feel reading that?
Especially those he mentions (his own family and friends).And what are they going to think of the messenger?
Are they going to think "you're awesome, thank you for your success", or are they going to think: "this feels demeaning, and to parade his wins while I struggle, it feels very narcissistic and inappropriate. F*ck you, I hope you get sacked tomorrow so you stop making us feel bad about our struggles".
Probably more the latter, right?
You make people feel bad and diminished, and they (rightly) resent you.
HOW TO DO IT
2020 was also a good year for this website -nothing special about 2020, it just kept growing as it did since its inception-.
Personally, it would seem in bad taste to publicize it, and especially so publicizing it by contrasting it to many people's struggles -of course it's bad taste, that'd be covert, and nasty, social climbing, using the job-losers as a social peg-.
But if forced to give an update, I would have said something like:
2020 was a challenging year for many.
In all the mayhem and the negative press coverage, I think it's also important to provide some hope, and some positive examples.
And some businesses -and people- did keep on growing and doing good things.
The Power Moves was lucky to be one of them.
I'd like that to be not a pat on the back to this website, but a testament to what we as humans can achieve when passion meets dedication and hard work.
And, in general, a testament to the power of human resilience and self-development. Together with The Power Moves, many great folks in its community are also growing and reaching new personal heights (maybe put an example here).
While some businesses and people may still be struggling, I am optimistic.
I can see the light is approaching near the end of the tunnel.
We're getting there. And together, we'll get there sooner.Then, mix a picture of your success, with a picture that sends a good message for others as well (for example, a flower symbolizing spring).
See what a different feel?
It's equally effective in its core message: "the power move grew", and even more effective as an advertisement -folks in the community are growing-.
And it does so without being overly self-referential or narcissistic -and not a huge middle finger to those who struggled-.That first example makes frenemies -people might like the post, but many will resent it-.
This second one brings real support.
We talked about something similar here.
The message was:
- Frame your social media updates not as a "look at me", but as a "look at this cool thing (I happened to be doing, and that you might do as well)"
You want to do something similar for your successes.
Look at this example:
Picture of him standing behind 3 awards
Of course: we want to advertise our achievements.
That's human nature: the only reason why want to achieve something, after all, is for the power and status pay-offs.
So, it's not necessarily bad to advertise your achievements or to "brag" a bit.
However, bragging is an art (and science).
And bragging framed as in the above example, tends to erode your social capital.
Why?
Well, think about this:
How do you feel reading it?
The feel is that "these other people all failed, BUT my company was doing well, and I was doing great".
It feels like a total brag, and you usually want to avoid direct-talk bragging (some exceptions apply, but let's stick to general rules).
Plus, it feels like an unneeded social climb by using those other job-losers for contrast.
And indeed: how are those other people who struggled in 2020 supposed to feel reading that?
Especially those he mentions (his own family and friends).
And what are they going to think of the messenger?
Are they going to think "you're awesome, thank you for your success", or are they going to think: "this feels demeaning, and to parade his wins while I struggle, it feels very narcissistic and inappropriate. F*ck you, I hope you get sacked tomorrow so you stop making us feel bad about our struggles".
Probably more the latter, right?
You make people feel bad and diminished, and they (rightly) resent you.
HOW TO DO IT
2020 was also a good year for this website -nothing special about 2020, it just kept growing as it did since its inception-.
Personally, it would seem in bad taste to publicize it, and especially so publicizing it by contrasting it to many people's struggles -of course it's bad taste, that'd be covert, and nasty, social climbing, using the job-losers as a social peg-.
But if forced to give an update, I would have said something like:
2020 was a challenging year for many.
In all the mayhem and the negative press coverage, I think it's also important to provide some hope, and some positive examples.
And some businesses -and people- did keep on growing and doing good things.
The Power Moves was lucky to be one of them.
I'd like that to be not a pat on the back to this website, but a testament to what we as humans can achieve when passion meets dedication and hard work.
And, in general, a testament to the power of human resilience and self-development. Together with The Power Moves, many great folks in its community are also growing and reaching new personal heights (maybe put an example here).
While some businesses and people may still be struggling, I am optimistic.
I can see the light is approaching near the end of the tunnel.
We're getting there. And together, we'll get there sooner.
Then, mix a picture of your success, with a picture that sends a good message for others as well (for example, a flower symbolizing spring).
See what a different feel?
It's equally effective in its core message: "the power move grew", and even more effective as an advertisement -folks in the community are growing-.
And it does so without being overly self-referential or narcissistic -and not a huge middle finger to those who struggled-.
That first example makes frenemies -people might like the post, but many will resent it-.
This second one brings real support.
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