How to cement a frame: step by step

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on July 27, 2020, 8:03 am

Cementing ™: in power dynamics and frame negotiation, cementing consists of expanding the thread of the "agreement reached" to solidify the new positive frame and expand the frame's effects, power, and "staying power" (ie.: the likelihood it will stick)

Here is how to do it:

1. The frame:
   1. You reached an agreement, or framed the interaction with a positive, value-adding frame
2. Cement by asking for confirmation: a frame that is agreed by the other party immediately increases its power by 10 fold
   1. "what do you think": an agreement with less nudging gets more buy-in and is even more powerful (see: self-agency principle of persuasion)
   2. "do you agree"
   3. "it makes sense, doesn't it"
   4. Note: silence here often means confirmation. It's a sign of acceptance and/or submissiveness, and you can move to the next step.
3. Cement by confirming the agreement 
   1. "I'm glad we agree": see the linked post for more details
   2. "I'm happy we see things the same way"
4. Cement with a compliment (rewarding)
   1. "I think we're a great team": my go-to rewarding tool which also sets up, you guessed it, win-win and collaborative frames
   2. "yeah, it makes sense, you get it because you're also a smart guy/gal"
   3. Silence and smile: confirms nonverbally the good vibe, and in seduction can turn into a micro-showdown moment where if she cracks first, he entrenches his position as the leader and most dominant party

Take pauses, avoid rushing things through.
Cementing works even better if others already see you as a high-quality individual and/or if they respect you.