How to make good men want to protect and invest (technique for women)
In "dating strategies for women" we said that signals of "exploitability" are attractive to men.
Exploitability signals can be further improved with early honest vulnerability and "selective hard to get".
Here is an example:
She sends off a powerful aura of "take care of me". Extremely attractive to many men.
This is great for women who are looking for long term and providers.
It touches on a lot of signals that men look for:
- Shows extreme vulnerability (no fear in admitting of being lonely)
- Shows high exploitability (being so frank so early in it's either a potential red flag... Or an easily exploitable person)
- Shows she is selectively hard to get (only interested in men who stick around)
- Indirect signals of faithfulness (girls like that usually fall in love and stick around with the provider type)
Signals of "piousness" in women often run against raw sexual attraction (see the Madonna-whore dichotomy).
But the beauty of this strategy is that it works on both levels of sexual attraction, and making men want to commit.
It works perfectly for what psychologist Shawn Smith calls "good men", such as men who are driven in life, but also driven to provide and defend their "nest".
The downside?
Women using it can feel like it requires them to give away all of their personal power and independence.
Relationships with this frame end up being less of a relationship of equals, and more about the man in charge, carrying most of the responsibility to provide and take care of the family.
Which is why SO few women use it, especially in the West.
On the other hand, it does work extremely well.
Also notice that this can be a very effective frame to demand commitment very early on.
Women using it can feel like it requires them to give away all of their personal power and independence.
Relationships with this frame end up being less of a relationship of equals, and more about the man in charge, carrying most of the responsibility to provide and take care of the family.
Which is why SO few women use it, especially in the West.On the other hand, it does work extremely well.
Also notice that this can be a very effective frame to demand commitment very early on.
Women who play this well, makes the man think he's in charge, but in reality she is the one with the actual power. There is a common joke in movies/ media that goes something like this:
"Who is the most powerful person in the country?"
"The president"
"Nope, the president's wife"
I think there is some truth to this. If the man fell for this so easily, it would make sense that he would be able to be manipulated just as easily.
In my opinion, women in the West don't do this as much because feminists have made women believe that in order to be powerful, they need to act like men. As politically incorrect as this may sound, I believe womens' main source of power is through men, and are much weaker as individually when compared to men. Anecdotes from every day life confirms this:
- Women are obviously pound for pound much physically weaker than men
- If a woman is physically threatened, she will probably say something along the lines of "my boyfriend will beat you up"
- Women are dating more frequently than men
- If a woman is getting physically abused in public, strange men will step in to help
- If a woman has problems lifting something heavy, strange men will also step in to help
Not to say this is a bad thing, it is just power in a different form. You could even argue that women are more powerful than men in this regard. It's much easier for the average woman to rally a group of men than the average man to rally a group of men.
Yes, I agree 100% on the feminism that made this game / approach so uncommon in the West.
And I agree with you on the power dynamics as well: in truth, it's just a different form of power.
It might not get the same amount of spotlight but, depending on the circumstances, it can wield far more power.
Also, one note: this might be a game. But it's not necessarily one.
Many women truly just need someone to lean on (including some of the ones who deny it). Some other women want both: a professional life to pursue and a man to also care for and take care of them (very healthy approach, in my view, but feminism makes it hard for women to acknowledge the latter).
And some women really just want to be in a household and take care of someone they love (I've dated a woman like that some time ago, who fell for the wrong guy. And I'm very happy she found some better guy with whom to have that).
Many men want and crave women for relationships and support too, by the way.
But men have always had a problem admitting it. Women have only more recently joined men in that "fake invulnerable" club, and in good part because of feminism.