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Is Social Power just for men? What about this BS of "dominance to get girls"?

I received the following question via email:

A lot of this course sounds fantastic and exactly what I’m looking for, at a reasonable price.

But is it aimed solely at men?

The phrase ‘use dominance to get the girls you want’ is unbelievably off putting!
The fact you aren’t aware that this would put off so many women makes me think either you’re aiming this at men so are not really bothered about putting women off, or you’re a bit off with your tone, which makes me doubt the rest of the course.

What about what the girls want in that scenario?! This kind of statement seems like something that wouldn’t have raised an eyebrow in the nineties, but seems so outdated now.

I was on the cusp of buying this before I saw that, are you able to reassure me at all on this point, as I appreciate it’s just a phrase and I may be misunderstanding the intent behind it.

Thanks!

Lucy

Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?

What can I say, thank you, Lucy, for giving me the chance to address that.
I love your question!

Let me say this first: what I say and write is not aimed at sounding good to this subset or that subset of people.

That would be me being an ideologist or signing a manifesto. Which is the opposite of what I do. And I encourage readers here to do the same: to stay away from organized systems of thought and to think for themselves, instead.
Both in the course and in the articles, I seek to write about what's true, and what works.
That doesn't mean of course I always manage to, or that my own biases won't get in between. But writing what's true is always my aim.

As a matter of fact, the way I see, if you are not angering someone from the opposite sides of the spectrum, you are being biased.
So, frankly, when either strong feminists or strong red pill men both get angry at what I write, it kinda reassures me that I'm not being too biased.

I write this on this (long) post on the Red Pill:

If you’re discussing sensitive topics and you’re not getting some flack from both sides of the spectrum, you’re either playing it too safe, or you’re an extremist yourself.

And now let's address that sensitive topic:

Dominance and What's Attractive to Women

You say:

What about what the girls want in that scenario?

You are right, of course.
Men should always take into account what the girls want.
Being dominant against the woman's interest is not being dominant, it's being an asshole, or a rapist.

Yet, how about the times that a woman wants to see some strength and power?
The girl will not come out and tell you "be dominant to me, please".
It's the man who has to be able to read between the lines -not easy-.

And sometimes, in certain situations, certain women, that's exactly what they want: a dominant man.
When I address that topic in the course, I use plenty of real-life examples to back it up.

Or look what this woman, who commented on a video posted on YouTube that got some other women very angry:

Go check out that video, chances are you will find it repelling -and I convene that the man went too far in more than one occasion-.
And still, that woman was brave enough to admit that her dominant boyfriend, acting like the man in the video, drove her wild.

But let's not generalize, because you are right.
Dominance will work better on some type of women.
And, even more, it will work better, within specific contexts.
Dominance works better with women who already find the man attractive.

It's a complex topic, which I seek to clarify for the readers. Dominance can also be abusive and still get some women hooked (traumatic bonding).
That's the type of dominance I actively and repeatedly discourage (and I share examples of that type of negative dominance that some other authors recommend).
Luckily, I can discourage it not just on moral grounds, but also because it doesn't work with most high-quality women. I discuss it in Dating Power Dynamics, where I also provide a real-life example.

Here it is:

Training martial arts, I once was going a bit too hard on a less experienced woman.
During the breaks when we’re supposed to touch gloves, she’d hug me and wrap herself around me so deeply that it was almost emberassing.
That was the knee-jerk reaction to being physically overpowered. But then I met her after training, walking home, and the music had changed.
She was very distant, and reprimanded me for the poor control I showed. She was right (stupid me!). And that’s how non-masochistic, emotionally healthy women would react to batterers: they’d move on pretty quickly. 

And again, I write in Dating Power Dynamics where I go even deeper (and which I am planning to add as a bonus to the course):

Says Miller:

Offering a woman nothing more than dominance is like challenging her to eat a spoonful of pure cinnamon—she might give it a shot, but she’ll gag and cry in the end.

Well, not all women will gag and cry. A subset of women will get hooked. But some others won’t and, overall, you will be far less effective if you are only dominant.
Your dominance must be mixed with all the other prosocial qualities.

Finally, dominance can be expressed positively within certain contexts, which I also seek to explain.
In the course and in the ebook, I present a model that I have never seen anywhere else, and which has worked wonders for me.
I call it "dominance within a collaborative frame".

Can You Reassure Me?

You write:

Are you able to reassure me at all on this point, as I appreciate it’s just a phrase and I may be misunderstanding the intent behind it.

Now you are asking me to convince you, Lucy.
Which is something I don't usually do (and which is also a question of power dynamics, by the way :).

From what I read, frankly, chances are that you might get shocked or angry at some examples in the course -not too many, but in a few cases, you might-.

What I can say for sure though is this: albeit I seek to write neutrally about what works, I also always add and encourage readers to use the material from a frame of virtue, compassion, and collaboration. Both in dating, and outside of it.
Luckily, not just because of morality, but also because it usually works even better in the long run (see: long term strategies for power).

Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?
Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on February 2, 2020, 1:34 pm

And again, I write in Dating Power Dynamics where I go even deeper (and which I am planning to add as a bonus to the course):

Hi Lucio,

Do you have a time frame in which Dating Power Dynamics will be added as a bonus to the course?

Quote from condor on July 23, 2020, 4:45 pm
Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on February 2, 2020, 1:34 pm

And again, I write in Dating Power Dynamics where I go even deeper (and which I am planning to add as a bonus to the course):

Hi Lucio,

Do you have a time frame in which Dating Power Dynamics will be added as a bonus to the course?

Hello Condor,

It might be a while for that to happen.
The course should be probably priced above $300 to make sense that I bundle it with all the best that this website has to offer.

And the course will eventually reach that price level, but it will only be after the design & marketing sides are taken care of, with video testimonials, more professionally-shot own videos, designer-polished add-ons, and all that "beauty" side that people would expect from a higher-priced course.

I'll take a first step in that direction with the next upgrade in September/October, but I don't think I'll manage to tackle all those "beauty-related" items in that one upgrade.

Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?