Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on January 18, 2022, 8:59 pm

You interact with him well, I suppose: he's far more likely to be a high-quality guy :).

But jokes aside -albeit it's not a joke but actually true-, did you post correctly in the dating section?
If so, then I guess you are asking how to interact with a man as a woman, in dating scenarios.

Is there something specific that worries you about dating a guy who is more power-aware and "knows the game"?

It's a very interesting question by the way, it's making me reflect on how my own interactions changed with those who learned power dynamics.

Edit:
Welcome to the forum, and check the guidelines in my signature, I see some opportunities for communication upgrades.

Quote from human. on January 18, 2022, 9:23 pm

Thanks for responding so promptly, @lucio

Yes, that's correct. How to engage with a guy who is also power aware?

He did many of the things listed here: https://thepowermoves.com/how-to-get-girl-with-a-boyfriend/ . Now i have broken up with my boyfriend, indeed - all I am thinking about is him.

At the time, I didn't realise. I suspect because of my own complacency - typically, I don't struggle with seducing men & so usually I am in control of the situation.

This is the first time I feel I have been "out-seduced". I don't feel in control of the situation and to be honest, it's irritating me.

We are both high value. And we both know we are high value.

So the question is - how do you make power moves against someone who likely already knows your moves? Surely all of your moves then become redundant?

I enjoy chess - hence the reference. Appreciate it perhaps wasn't an appropriate forum topic - sorry!

 

Edit: and lol, yes I plan to interact with him ;). See, in my frustration I can't even appreciate jokes!

 

 

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on January 18, 2022, 10:01 pm

Well, ideally, you don't engage at all in power moves.

You engage in a win-win, grown-up, value-adding relationship where power moves are either minimal, self-corrected, or quickly corrected by the partner's own expertise. -

If you wanted to cover the downsides you may have wanted to get more commitment before ending the former relationship -and, if you thinking of potentially long-term, ideally not get intimate-.
Now if he knows you broke up the unspoken understanding is that "you probably ended it because of him", which now leaves you in a position to chase for the relationship -while before it was up to him to chase-.

What a Machiavellian player would do:

• Say she broke up because she needed some "me time" and he was a bit too controlling -frames her as the catch in that relationship-
• Say she broke up because it wasn't challenging enough for her -which frames her as picky-

Is he contacting you at all, or are you getting intimate?
If so, why not high power assertiveness instead: to lay the cards out on the table. "Hey, listen mister, I like spending time with you and I can't do dishonest relationships where I'm not 100% in them. That's why I ended it. So now I'm single. And I don't do FWB".

Best if you mentally envision and accept it might not go anywhere first so you can deliver properly -and not suffer too much if it indeed goes nowhere-.

Quote from human. on January 18, 2022, 10:35 pm

Lol. Interesting. Thank you for answering my question @lucio.